REDAMANCY

Fifteen

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Nemesism
(n.) frustration, anger, or aggression directed inward, towards oneself and one's way of living
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The older he got, the more Yoongi wanted to be loved.

He didn't care how or why, he just wanted to know someone had him in their thoughts. He wanted cliché dates and deep, late-night conversations. He wanted to be good enough for someone and love them as much as they loved him.

But he'd never thought it was truly possible.

I'm broke, I'm unemployed, and I'm romantically stoic. What the hell is there to love about me?

His TV played softly in the background while he sat at his counter drinking orange juice and absentmindedly flipping through pages of a random book he'd pulled off his shelf.

Ever since that, he hadn't been able to sleep or fully process much. His lips still felt tingly, and he put a finger to them as if it would somehow give him an answer to his question.

What exactly had happened that day?

It was April now, and he suspected that Jimin would be studying for his midterm finals by now, since schools in this city ended in July. He doubted the boy had even spared one moment of thought for him.

Not that I give a crap. Yoongi thought, desperately trying to convince himself, in hopes of getting over Jimin. He's just a minor finishing school, with a future laid out ahead of him. You don't deserve his time.

His phone buzzed.

"Yes?"

"YOONGI-HYUNG." He jumped as Hoseok's loud and cheery voice sounded in his ear.

"What is it?" He grumbled. "Do you have to shout?"

"Pick me up from the airport."

"You're back?" Yoongi asked in surprise. "You were going to be gone for another two weeks."

"My best friend radar says I'm more needed at home." Hoseok replied.

"Why am I picking you up?"

"I forgot my bus card and I ran out of cash."

"You're hopeless."

"I'm your only hope."

"I'll be there in half an hour. Bye."

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"Seriously Hoseok, what the hell." Yoongi sighed as he helped haul the big leather suitcase onto the bus.

"Careful buddy, that's a month's worth of stuff in there. I gotta look great everyday after all."

"Want me to bet that all of this is face masks?"

"Don't tease me, my face isn't that corrupt. Besides, you should look at your own. Eye bags deeper than a Tumblr quote."

"Damn ok... maybe I should've let you walk home." Yoongi snapped, sitting down in the back of the bus.

"No!" Hoseok wailed, sitting down beside him quickly, and grasping Yoongi's bicep. "I'm sorry, Yoongs."