REDAMANCY

Twenty Eight

Twenty Eight
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Meliorism
(n.) the belief that the world can be made better by human effort
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Jimin sat on the stool, his hands laced, timidly looking at Yoongi, who sat on the stool facing him, leaning on his arm which was resting on the table.

The older was silent, simply studying Jimin. This boy had been through a toxic relationship, and he was scared. That was evident.

In a twisted and maybe spiteful way, Yoongi envied Jimin. He envied the intimate times Daehyun had spent with the younger. Something he'd always longed for. Yoongi had never been the type for dull and vanilla relationships. Everything was so predictable and simple. He'd often let his mind wander to the darker thoughts of human nature, allowing himself to imagine how he'd act in situations. His teen years had indeed consisted of the occasional long nights; he never forgot to clear his browser. But it wasn't the vivid imaginations that got his blood moving. It was the person he wanted to be involved with. Someone he wanted to love and protect, and in return, receive love and acceptance. Jimin was the epitome of that it would seem, but the boy was scarred.

Yes, admittedly Yoongi did want those so-called steamy moments but he knew that Jimin's boundaries had already been violated once and he didn't want to make the guy feel like it was happening again should they do something like that. Yoongi shifted uncomfortably, downing the last remaining drops of his coffee.

"Are you not going to say anything?" Jimin asked, his voice slightly scratchy from all the talking he'd done.

"What do you want me to say?" Yoongi asked, rotating the straw between his fingers.

"I don't know. Tell me I was wrong for pushing Daehyun away and wanting him back. Something like that."

"I don't feel like lying, Jimin."

"What do you think then?"

Yoongi scooted his stool closer, so he could really look into Jimin's eyes. If you looked closely you could see that they weren't just dark orbs. His eyes were a pleasant mocha brown, with flecks of lighter brown. Yoongi could vaguely see his reflection in them. Jimin blinked in surprise, his long lashes casting a slight shadow under his eyes.

"Damn." Yoongi breathed, unable to take it.

Jimin's cheeks turned rosy. "Don't stare at me." He said irritably.

"I'll stare all I want." Yoongi retorted. "I'm just trying to figure myself -and you- out here."

"But what about Da—"

"You really want to know what I think?" Yoongi gently moved his hand from his lap to Jimin's face, turning it lightly so he could look into the younger's eyes again. "I think Daehyun fucked up big time. It was your first real relationship. There's no 'way relationships work'. Everything's dependent on what you both want in the relationship. But Daehyun ruined it. By manipulating and betraying your trust like that just because he can't keep his dick in his pants? Then dumping you because you don't want sex? That's disgusting."

"Are you better than he is?" Jimin tested.

"No. I'm worse- just more human."

"What do you mean?"

"I treat people horribly," Yoongi said. "I'm rude to my parents and I don't really have a lot of friends. I'm unemployed and lazy. And I-"