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The Cure of Darkness - Review

By ABeautifulBlessing

Reviewed by AmyMarieZ

Overview: The Cure of Darkness is a fantasy story about the princess of Lospaira, Sanity Darnell. Although she is the princess, Sanity's life is not as might be expected. Tormented by other residents of the palace, she spends her time trying to stay in the shadows and out of the way of ridicule, as many claim she is the cursed one, born with the spirit of evil within her. However, one night when Sanity is returning to the palace after an evening trip to Qihess Pond, her place of sanctuary, she is kidnapped and taken from her home. And so, the story begins.

Structure: The Cure of Darkness is written in the first person past tense. The story so far contains two chapters, the first one being split into two parts. While the first chapter is not so long that it couldn't be contained in one part, it is also long enough that the split is not unreasonable. So far, the story all takes place on one evening and follows one string of events – the lead up to and finally the kidnapping of Princess Sanity Darnell.

Grammar: The grammar in the story is not bad overall. One grammatical issue in the story is occasional tense shifts and confusion with tense regarding continuous states. For example, although the story is written in past tense, often times the narrator states something about another character in the present tense when it is unclear if the state is truly current/ongoing or if it should more simply just be in the past tense.

Other grammatical issues include improper use of italics for character thoughts. Italics should be used for thoughts that the character is having in the action of the scene, not thoughts that are a part of the narration. Simply, if a story is written in the past tense, thoughts in the present tense (that are being mentioned as though the character is thinking about them at the time of the action) should be italicized.

Otherwise, there are a few general typos and sentences that have grammatically incorrect wording. There are also a few locations where commas are misplaced or missing. The grammatical errors are not frequent or severe enough to largely detract from the reading experienced, but they are frequent enough that it is noticeable.

Pace: In the two chapters posted, there are no problems with the pace of the story as a whole. So far, not much has happened other than setup and the inciting incident, but that is to be expected with only two chapters complete.

Pacing of individual scenes is well done in general. There is a fair amount of scene setting description, but the descriptions are interesting and well written and are not excessive enough to slow the pace of the story. The only time where the pace feels a bit slow is during high intensity action scenes. A significant amount of transition words are used during these scenes, as well as explanations of what is causing what. Cutting down a bit on unnecessary transitions and setup and focusing a bit more on direct actions might help pick up the pace just a little bit in these areas.

Character Development: In the first two chapters, four significant characters are introduced: Sanity, (the MC and narrator), George Hayward (Prince of Ironvault), Elijah Gray (Sanity's cousin), and Demetrius (kidnapper and adopted son of the second Royal family). The characters are introduced one after another in quick succession and a fairly similar method – each of the characters surprises or "jumps out" at Sanity. This begins to feel a bit repetitive by the time the final character is introduced.

At each introduction, a bit of background information on the character's history and personality are provided by the narrator. Although it is informative and provides the reader useful background about each character, this style of characterization can be slightly tedious to read. Rather than allowing the character's personalities to reveal themselves gradually through action and dialog, the reader is told the narrator's perception of each character. This method may lead to a reader losing interest in a character, or forgetting details when they are all dumped at once and the reader does not yet feel any attachment to the character they are being told about.

Vocabulary/Description: The descriptions in the story are creatively written and interesting, enhancing the story as a whole by creating a vivid environment and atmosphere. The language used is varied and interesting. It fits well with the writing style. Some of the descriptions are slightly awkwardly worded, but it is not a major problem. One method of catching sentences that may not sound quite right could be reading the chapters aloud while proofreading.

Plot: The general idea of the plot is intriguing! A princess being captured is certainly an exciting way to open the story. It is hard to tell this early on where the plot will go, but if it develops unique and interesting elements as well as engaging characters, it has potential to be a very thrilling read!

So far, in the first two chapters, the majority of the story has been Sanity running from one person after the other. At a certain point, this becomes slightly tedious and the reader may desire more depth and variety of actions. It makes for a great opening because it really gets the excitement going, but it is a risk because at this point, the reader has not been given much time to develop true feelings for Sanity. Although it certainly pulls interest right from the start, a reader may eventually tire of watching a character they do not care that much about be chased around. As the story progresses, the introduction of more mellow scenes that develop the bond between the reader and the MC could help to build an engaging character and enjoyable plot.

Summary: Although the story is still just beginning, the plot holds promise to become truly interesting! The characters are still developing, but they are certainly characters a reader could become very attached to. The creative descriptions and suspenseful build up in these first two chapters is a real thrill!

Note: The review book offers several options. To review only grammar and sentence structure. To review only character development and plot. To review only vocabulary and descriptions. Or, the requester can ask for all of this to be reviewed. There are two options when making this request – for it to be sugar-coated or not.

This review is for it all to be touched on (not sugar-coated).