Rebel Town Reviews [OPEN]

Reaper (Chapters 6-10) @WintersNightmare

Reaper - (Chapters 6-10) by WintersNightmare 

Reviewed by AmyMarieZ 

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Overview: Reaper is a paranormal story set in a post-apocalyptic world. After the outbreak of the Exile virus, a disease capable of turning humans into zombie-like creatures with exceptional strength and speed, the only offer of protection for the survivors comes in the form of Death Angels, divine creatures capable of destroying Exiles. After demonstrating his strength, the original Death Angel offers all humans the opportunity to become Death Angels as well, allowing them to protect their loved ones. However, it comes at a price. Upon becoming a Death Angel, loved ones forget the Death Angel's entire existence.

In the first five chapters, Ellie decides to become a Death Angel to save the lives of those she loves. However, instead of forgetting about her existence like they are supposed to, Ellie's friends begin remembering her. These chapters follow Ellie as she trains and finally becomes a Death Angel known as "Reaper", as well as the lives of her friends after she leaves them behind.

Grammar: The grammar in the story is decent. The writing itself is well done so it is easy to follow the story. However, there are consistent errors with comma placement. There are also a number of typos and sentences that are awkwardly worded. A good round of editing and proofreading, with special attention to comma placement, would easily clean the writing up. The actual content of the writing is very good and clear, however, so the grammatical errors do not detract from the reading experience significantly.

Pace: The pacing is nearly perfect. Each chapter pushes the plot, as well as providing intriguing and engaging character development. The reader is constantly presented with new mysteries and questions, making them eager to read on!

Individual scenes move at a real-time pace. In general, there is an excellent balance of character thoughts, action, dialog, and description, giving the reader the feeling as if he or she is there with the characters.

One minor bump in the pacing of the story is that occasionally, it drags as character thoughts are dwelled on for a while. For example, in chapter seven when Nick is sick in bed, rehashing of points and some repetition in the narration drag the pace slightly. Cutting out just a few of Nick's repetitive thoughts, some of the repetitive dialog, as well as rewording repeated phrases or words in the narration itself could easily bring the pace up just a bit in this location.

There are a few other locations where character emotions are dwelled for quite a while, specifically showing Ellie's remorse about leaving her friends behind, and Nick's sadness about Ellie being gone. However, the emotional pain of these characters is an important and powerful part of the story. While trimming some of it might help push the pace slightly, the strong descriptions of the character emotions are one of the strongest parts of the story, so trimming too much might detract from the story itself.

One location where the pace was slightly fast was in chapter eight when Ellie/Reaper is doing her job as a Death Angel. The middle of the scene where she searches the Sector is summarized. Because this is the first time she is doing her job, it could be very interesting and exciting to explore the scene and provide a bit more description of the Sector to help the characters visualize it a bit more.

Character Development: Characterization is perhaps the strongest element in Reaper. The emotions of each of Ellie's friends and Ellie herself are shown so well throughout the story, making them believable characters that a reader can't help but empathize with.

While in chapters 1-5 Nick's POV seemed to be slightly lacking emotion compared to Ellies, his POV in these chapters have developed just as much as Ellie's. The way he reflects on how different his life is because Ellie is gone and the fact that even after two years he still misses her is so realistic and heartbreaking.

The only part of Nick's perspective that could perhaps be shown more strongly is his reactions and thoughts about the murders that are occurring once every month. Because of his coinciding blackouts, it is clear that Nick suspects that he may be to blame. However, his concern over this is not quite as profound as it might realistically be. It seems realistic that he doesn't want to discuss it with anyone, but he might also try to justify it to himself a bit more. For example, he might try to come up with reasons why it couldn't be him, or come up with alternative explanations for the murders.

The main development of Ellie in these chapters is a full transformation from "Ellie" into "Reaper", the Death Angel. During these chapters, a two-year time hop occurs. The time hop is expertly placed. Right before the time jump, the reader sees Ellie just beginning to become the Death Angel. She still has many weaknesses and fears. However, after the time jump, she truly is no longer "Ellie". The reader first observes her in this new state from Nick's POV. This works perfectly because it leaves the reader eager to find out what her internal thoughts are like now! Ellie/Reaper narrates the next chapter. At the beginning, the reader can truly see how different she is. However, she experiences a break down during this chapter upon seeing her friends again and Ellie begins to emerge again.

A possible area for work with Ellie's character development is her relationship with James in chapter ten. Because of the time hop, the reader only sees the beginning of this relationship develop. There are definitely some strong scenes between the two characters in the chapters before the jump. However, Ellie seems to connect with all of her new friends in these chapters, so it does not particularly jump out to a reader that does not know where the relationship is going. A few less subtle hints that their might be something special about her relationship with James in comparison to the other new friends could be a consideration, however there really is no problem with it if left as is.

Vocabulary/Description: With the exception of a few awkwardly worded sentences, the actual content of the descriptions in the story is exceptional. The creative and figurative language used develops interesting, vivid, and at times terrifying visuals! It is easy to picture all of the scenes, particularly the scene in chapter nine when there is an Exhile attack at the school where Nick, Nessa, and Sam are!

One place where a bit more description and scene setting might be helpful would be the scene in chapter eight where Ellie is doing her first mission as a Death Angel, as discussed in the "Pace" section of this review.

Plot: The plot of Reaper is interesting and exciting! In these five chapters, Ellie transforms into the Death Angel "Reaper". Additionally, Nick begins experiencing strange dreams that coincide with murders of young women every month. Finally, it comes to light that all Ellie's friends remember her, even when they shouldn't. While it seems like the plot is spreading out, because the connection between Nick's dreams and the rest of the story is slightly vague at this point, in the chapters to come the relation and relevancy of it all will most likely be exposed.

Not only does the plot contain an intense amount of mystery, but it also includes a lot of high energy action! First, there is Ellie's first day on the job as a Death Angel. Next, the frightening descriptions of Nicks dreams create a lot of suspense and tension. Finally, the Exhile attack on the school raises the intensity even more, keeping the reader on the edge of their seat wondering if Ellie/Reaper will come to the rescue!

Summary: Reaper is a story that just gets better and better as it goes! With new and interesting twists and turns in every chapter, the reader never knows what to expect, but will never be disappointed! The characters are realistic and likeable. Their motivations are believable, and their struggles are heartbreaking. The combination of a unique dystopian setting, compelling characters, and a rollercoaster of a plot make Reaper a paranormal story with the power to really pull a reader in!