Rebel Town Reviews [OPEN]

Reaper (Chapters 1-5) - @WintersNightmare

Reaper (Chapters 1-5) By WintersNightmare

Reviewed by AmyMarieZ

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Review Focus: Character Development and Plot Progression

Overview: Reaper is a paranormal story set in a post-apocalyptic world. After the outbreak of the Exile virus, a disease capable of turning humans into zombie-like creatures with exceptional strength and speed, the only offer of protection for the survivors comes in the form of Death Angels, divine creatures capable of destroying Exiles. After demonstrating his strength, the original Death Angel offers all humans the opportunity to become Death Angels as well, allowing them to protect their loved ones. However, it comes at a price. Upon becoming a Death Angel, loved ones forget the Death Angel's entire existence.

This story follows the journey of Ellie, a girl who decides to make the sacrifice and become a Death Angel.

Grammar: Overall, the grammar of the story is very good. The writing is easy to understand and follow. The only persistent issue is with comma placement. Often, commas are left out where they are necessary, leading to confusion in some of the longer sentences. The writing could be improved by inserting commas where required. To avoid excessive use of commas, sentence structure could be varied to include more short and simple sentences. Additionally, em dashes could be used sparingly as a comma alternative.

Pace: Individual scenes in the story are well paced. The scenes are described in a way that makes them easy to visualize, but the description is not excessive so it does not slow the pace. The dialog is realistic and gives the scenes a feel as though they are happening in real time.

The story is well paced as a whole. Each chapter provides important plot progression, building the suspense of the story. Background information is presented throughout the story, but it is dispersed throughout the chapters, told in an interesting way, and revealed at times that make sense with the action, so it does not feel like an info-dump or drag the story.

Character Development: The characters in Reaper have depth and are multi-dimensional. Their motivations make sense, particularly Ellie's motivation to become a Death Angel. Her emotional pain and conflict over making that decision is realistically shown. Her relationship with her boyfriend Nick is portrayed well and connects with the reader, making it heartbreaking when she decides to leave him behind and become a Death Angel. However, her reasons are extremely compelling—the death of all of their school-mates, so it is believable that she would make that decision.

Overall, the character development is presented gradually and naturally though character actions and dialog. However, at times, particularly in the first chapters, there are points where the character development seems forced. Specifically, the narration at times tells the reader about specific traits of characters, even though character traits are already clearly shown though action and dialog. One example of this would be the characterization of Ellie's friend Sam in the beginning of the first chapter. Their friendship and Sam's personality is explained, even though much of it is already apparent to the reader based on his actions and context.

The majority of the story is told in the 1st person POV of Ellie, with a few small parts being told in the 3rd person POV of Nick. In all of the parts told in Ellie's POV, her character shines through and her emotions feel extremely real. Before Ellie decides to become a Death Angel, the parts in the POV of Nick seem to be lacking the emotional depth the parts shown in Ellie's POV have. This leads them to seem less exciting, realistic, and believable in comparison. For example, the reaction in Ellie's POV to the death of their classmates feels realistic and heartbreaking. However, Nick's reaction shown from the 3rd person POV feels a bit flat and mellow. One reason why this may be the case is the action shown from Nick's POV is perhaps too fast paced. More attention to description of character actions, feelings, and dialog while in Nick's POV might help. Additionally, the narration from Nick's POV lacks direct character thoughts present in the 1st person POV narration. Inclusion of a few of Nick's italicized thoughts might help bring the character's view to life.

After Ellie leaves, the emotion while in Nick's POV is very strong and these parts of the narration are just as compelling as those in Ellie's POV. Perhaps this is because after Ellie leaves, the view shown from Nick's perspective is completely different to that of Ellie's, while earlier it was largely showing the same events, just a different view point. Nick's distress when he remembers Ellie when he shouldn't is extremely compelling and pulls the reader in.

Vocabulary/Description: Overall, descriptions are clearly written and easy to visualize. A good level of detail is provided during the gory scenes to create some level of gross-out, but not so much that it becomes a turn off—just enough to make it interesting! At times, the descriptions are poetic in nature, which works with the writing style and adds to the atmosphere of the story.

Plot: The plot of the story is unique and extremely intriguing as a whole! Clearly a lot of thought was put into where the story was going and how it would progress.

The first chapter serves as a good introduction to the story. It begins by presenting the characters and the setting, as well as providing just a few hints about the backstory and history of the characters. The backstory is presented in an interesting way—through the main character Ellie experiencing a flashback or panic attack of sorts triggered by her memories of being attacked by one of the Exhiles and saved by a Death Angel. These events are then tied in with the present when she is attacked again at the end of the chapter. The chapter leaves off with an excellent cliffhanger!

The next few chapters cover Ellie's time in the hospital after the attack. While these chapters feel a bit low-key compared to other chapters, they provide important characterization and background information about what exactly the Exhiles are, and information about the state of the society as a whole after the outbreak. These chapters are probably the lowest points of the story plot-wise, although there is some important plot progression when Ellie receives a warning that her friends will die. However, it is slightly unclear exactly what is going on when she receives this warning. Additionally, it is unclear why the Death Angel would be able to warn her about the death of her friends in the future, or what would compel him to warn her when it is clear there is nothing she can do about it.

After Ellie leaves the hospital, all of her classmates with the exception of herself and Nick die in an accident. The nature of the accident is left vague at this point in the story. The vagueness of it feels a bit out of place. A bit more detail on this event (unless it is left vague for a specific reason) could help provide the plot with a bit more realism.

After finding out about the death of her friends, Ellie decides to become a Death Angel to bring her friends back to life. At this point, the story really starts to get interesting! Ellie's training to become a Death Angel is exciting and entertaining. Additionally, Nick's own story picks up as well. Although he should not be able to remember Ellie, somehow, he does! This leaves the reader eager to find out how he can remember her... and also what he will do because he does!

Summary: The plot of Reaper is interesting right from the beginning, but the mystery and intrigue only grow as the story progresses! The characters are compelling and likeable with believable and heartbreaking motivations. The story is an excellent combination of paranormal elements, romance, action, adventure, and a whole lot of mystery!

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