Rebel Town Reviews [OPEN]

Sylin - The Cloud Kingdom (Chapters 1-5) - @myromichaels

Sylin - The Cloud Kingdom (Chapters 1-5) by myromichaels

Reviewed by ESHuricane

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Overview

Silyn - The Cloud Kingdom is an epic fantasy about a realm that collects souls from earth after their bodies die. It's a very unique take on life after death, with a colourful cast of characters and a fast paced interesting storyline. Definitely a must for lovers of high fantasy!

Cover/Title

I feel like the title is a little bit wordy. I feel like the author could drop Silyn and just have the novel be called The Cloud Kingdom and it would be a little tighter and more to the point. Silyn is useful because it's the name of the kingdom, but I feel like out of context it's not prudent for people that haven't read the book yet. Seeing it called The Cloud Kingdom would draw me in in the sense that 'hey, a kingdom in the clouds, I wonder what that's all about'.

The cover. I can appreciate the fact that I'm pretty sure the aim was simplicity here, but I the execution is not for me. I feel it lacks that ethereal intensity that I find in the prose, and just doesn't do the book justice. The wispy clouds would be very cool I think if they were sharper, with a more colourful background. I feel like the setting of the book is so fantastical and this cover is just flat in it's almost monochrome. And the little white border gives it almost a busy feel that takes away from the twinkling stars. The fonts of the title and the author name being different and in different colours is very distracting to me, and I didn't find the author name very visible. I like to be able to see the author name on a cover, wear that name proudly! Especially on such a fantastic book.

I'm not a graphic designer by any means, but I feel like this cover is somewhat bland for this book. I'd imagine something colourful and eye catching, with the simpler title of The Cloud Kingdom and the author name more visible. But that's just my humble opinion. Please chat with your betas or other rebels on this matter if you need second or third opinions. There are lots of great graphic designers amongst the book club alone, let alone on Wattpad!

Summary/Description

I really like summaries that open with a question. And this one delivers, starting with What happens after we die? It's a massively loaded question that many people ask in real life, and to have the description open with that is bold and hooking. That flows into talking about Silyn, and then introducing Christopher and Iris.

My only suggestion here is perhaps taking out Christopher's last two sentences. I think that because before reading the book I had no idea what a cloudsoldier or magistrar were, saying that he's a blend of both and is The One doesn't have a lot of impact here. I found it a lot more intense in the prose when the characters mention it amongst all of the hubbub happening in the first chapter.

Hook

The opening lines are jam packed full of well described imagery that drew me in right away. I felt like I was there, flying with Iris in the black clouds. The fact that she's trying to get somewhere with her brother in a hurry gives a sense of urgency and made me want to read on right away.

Grammar/Structure

The grammar and structure is impeccable. I couldn't find anything glaring here, which was lovely. I can point out one instance where I found slight passivity, and the line was The wind was wheezing through her wings. Instead of saying the character was doing an action, it could be tightened up to read a bit more active if the character does the action. So it could be reworded as The wind wheezed through her wings. As an aside, wheezed is a fantastic adjective here.

Characters

The characters are excellent. They all have very distinct and unique voices, which makes it easy to keep track of them all and the flow of dialogue. I especially enjoyed the contrast between Christopher's more casual speech and the Silynians (Silyns? Lol not sure what they're called) more formal speech.

I really liked the Maister and his old man sassiness, it's a classic wise mentor with lots of books kind of scene, but he and Christopher play off of each other well and their conversation is a good way to thicken the plot without any dreaded info dumps.

I liked the meet-cute with Lily, at least I think it was a meet-cute. I got the vibe that she was the introduced love interest, since the scene where they met seemed isolated and focused on her. I liked that he was screwing up his moves and she had to teach him how to be better, but he still didn't get it right away. It's very refreshing to have a girl teaching a guy protagonist a thing or two and still have her be better than him at it despite the fact that he's The One. It's nice character build up.

Speaking of character build up, I like how Christopher is flawed. He's a young soul, he's stubborn, and a bit rough around the edges. It shows however through his determination that he wants to be helpful, wants to do his duty, even though he's having a hard time letting go of his past. It makes for an interesting character arc that I think will play out beautifully.

Iris is a mercurial character, being the looming Queen of the kingdom. She's very regal and larger than life but also shows vulnerability in her worry for the fate of the Kingdom and wanting to be there for Christopher when everyone else sees him as a threat in the beginning. I feel like she has a lot of depth to be explored, and hope to see more of her in future chapters.

Narrative

The narrative voice is a just beautiful lilting ebb and flow of incredible imagery. In every scene I felt like I was there with all five senses, and without it being too purple. The author has a wonderful talent for drawing me in and immersing me in the world.

Plot/Pacing

The pacing of this story is absolutely perfect in my opinion. I felt it flowed really well, with the urgency of the first half of the first chapter, and then the slow burn of Christopher's introduction into Silyn. I liked that a lot of information was revealed bit by bit, and then it's being explained bit by bit as Christopher learns about his new life.

This is also an incredibly creative plot. This type of kingdom and good vs. evil type story is a trope of fantasy novels, but to have it be in the afterlife is bold and interesting. It also gives an extra layer of conflict to the protagonists because Christopher doesn't want to let go of his family and his new comrades need him to so that he can focus on doing his job as The One to defend the Kingdom. It gives so much more intensity to the main story and also endears him more to me. I feel badly that he's been torn from his family. And at only twenty five years old! That moment of denial with Iris when he realizes what's happened is so crazy intense, my heart clenched for him.

Closing Comments

All in all, this book is fantastic. The writing is excellent, the plot is creative and hooked me in, the characters are unique and likable, and I would definitely read more of it.

Amazing work, don't ever stop writing!