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A Game of Survival (Chapters 6 - 10) - @tellsbooks

A Game of Survival (Chapter 6 - 10) by tellsbooks   

Reviewed by AmyMarieZ 

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Overview: A Game of Survival is a dark fantasy story following Thea, a young girl living in Kingsland. After King Georgian IV declares a law that women who are suspected as being Magi are to be arrested, Thea's sister is taken from her, leaving her to fend for herself. In chapters 6 through 10, in order to survive, Thea joins a gang of orphans known as the Forty Little Thieves. As she proves her worth to the other children, Thea discovers more about the injustices in Kingsland and faces her own demons.

Structure: The first five chapters of A Game of Survival were written in the third person omniscient and followed the point of view of a few different characters, but with the strongest focus on the main character, Thea. In chapters 6 through 10, the style of narration is the same, but the chapters are almost entirely in Thea's point of view. There is a brief switch to Maggie's point of view at the very end of chapter nine, but I didn't notice any other perspectives in these chapters.

I thought that staying in Thea's POV for these chapters worked well because the chapters showed primarily one event in Thea's life. By following only her, the actions of the event moved smoothly and naturally. It was easy to get invested in Thea's struggle, and it helped to build the suspense.

Another thing worth noting about the structure of A Game of Survival is that it is split up into six parts. Chapter 10, the last chapter read for this review, is the conclusion of part 1. Part 1 focuses on the early life of Thea right after her sister was taken away and how she came to join the gang of orphan children known as the Forty Little Thieves. However, in chapter ten, there is a time jump from when Thea is eight to when she is twelve. Although chapter 10 is still a part of part 1, it seems to be beginning a new series of events.

On one hand, I think that including this chapter as a part of part 1 works well. Chapter 9 leaves off with a sense of closure. Things have calmed down for Thea. Therefore, the suspense chapter 9 leaves off with isn't very high. Including chapter 10 in the same part builds the suspense and tension again going in to part 2, which works nicely. However, chapter 10 really seems like it is the beginning of something new, so part of me feels like placing it right at the beginning of part 2 would make more sense. My final thought is that, with the story as written, it makes the most sense to keep chapter 10 at the end of part 1 for the sake of building suspense. However, I think if it was possible, it might also work well to add more suspense to the end of chapter 9 and then push chapter 10 into the next part.

Grammar: In general, the grammar in A Game of Survival is clean and well done. The story appears to have gone through a decent level of editing to catch errors and mistakes. I noticed a few minor typos while I was reading, which I have pointed out inline, but other than that the writing was clean. I did not notice any recurring issues with grammar.

I have two suggestions with regard to sentence structure and word usage. First, I would suggest keeping an eye out for repeated words in close proximity to avoid echoes that disrupt the flow of the narration. My other suggestion would be to occasionally break up longer sentences into shorter sentences. I noticed a few longer sentences seemed oddly worded, and I believe simply breaking these into shorter sentences could help with the flow. I've pointed out many of the locations I noticed inline.

Pace: As with the first five chapters I read of this story, I found the pacing in chapter six through ten to be particularly well done.

I really enjoyed the pacing in chapter 6. I thought a bit more detail and description at the beginning of the chapter could have worked nicely to set the scene, but as the chapter progressed the pace was on point. I particularly liked the pacing in the scene where the boy, Donnie, proves to the growing crowd that the vendor's jewelry is fake. This scene captured my attention and made me feel invested in the scene, wondering how the kid would prove it.