Rebel Town Reviews [OPEN]

A Woodmistian Legacy (Chapters 4 - 8) @MissUnpopuLaur

A Woodmistian Legacy: Hunt for the Nine Sacred Jewels (Chapters 4-8) by MissUnpopuLaur 

Reviewed by AmyMarieZ 

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Review focus: Storyline and Stereotypes

Overview: A Woodmistian Legacy: Hunt for the Nine Sacred Jewels is a fantasy story that follows a group of recent high school graduates. On of the students, Uriel, discovers a book describing the lost kingdom of Woodmist. Intrigued, the group of teens begins to search for more information on Woodmist and discover that they are in fact descendants of the royalty of the ancient kingdom. In order to restore their royal homestead, the group must find the Nine Sacred Jewels of the kingdom. However, this challenge may be difficult. Acoli—an ancient kingdom with a dark and wicked past—may pose a threat, and other challenges certainly await the teens on their journey.

Grammar: With the exception of some misplaced/missing commas, awkwardly worded sentences and typos, sentences make sense grammatically. The general body of the story is easy to follow. However, there are numerous errors in punctuation around dialog. Often, dialog is not separated into separate paragraphs with each change in speaker. This makes it difficult to determine who the speaker is at some points, leading to confusion while reading. Additionally, there are other minor errors in punctuation around dialog, specifically with capitalization in dialog tags.

Another note on grammar is that character thoughts have not been italicized. The story is written in the past tense, so any direct character thoughts in the present tense should be italicized for clarity.

Pace: The pace of the plot progression between chapters four and eight is well done. The events shown in the story each work to progress the plot and build on the mystery of Woodmist. This keeps the reader intrigued by the storyline as questions are slowly answered, but not before more questions pop up to keep the reader hooked.

In general, the pace of individual scenes is slightly fast. Interactions between characters seem to occur quickly in a way that is slightly jarring at times. Including more scene setting, character introspection/thoughts, and character actions during dialog could help slow the pace of interactions enough to make scenes read at a more real-time pace.

Character Development/Stereotypes: The main challenge with regard to characterization in A Woodmistian Legacy is that there are a lot of characters. Additionally, many of the characters' names rhyme. Uriel, Raziel, Sariel, Gabriel, Ariel (to name a few). While it seems like this naming scheme may be related to the plot in some way because the characters' ancestries play into the story, it makes it challenging for the reader to keep track of all of the characters.

One idea that might help with the characterization would be to introduce the characters more gradually and present more scenes with only two or three characters in them towards the beginning. This way, the reader gets the chance to get to know characters more gradually in almost a one-on-one style. For example, one scene that is very difficult to follow occurs at the end of the fourth chapter, continued into the fifth chapter. In this scene, Uriel has a conversation about the book she found with Raziel and his entire family (Afriel, Uncle Chansoo, Aunt Aureole, Uncle Terran, and Hadraniel). It is very difficult to keep track of so many characters in a single scene, especially so close to the beginning of the story. The scene could be made more straight forward and engaging for a reader if many of the characters were removed from the scene, instead including only a few in the conversation. More clues with regard to character location in the room during the conversation could also help with visualizing the scene.

In contrast, a scene that works well occurs at the beginning of chapter six. The pace of this scene is slower, and it focuses on only three characters: Uriel, Sariel, and Avani. The scene shows Uriel researching Woodmist, and Sariel and Avani discovering what she is doing and taking interest in the ancient lore as well. The dialog between the characters is easy to follow, allowing the reader to get to know each of their individual personalities. Additionally, it is easy to picture each of the character's locations in the scene because adequate hints are provided.

With regard to stereotypes, all of the characters are certainly fleshed out in the author's mind, even if they have not yet been given enough time to be fleshed out in the story. They are a diverse set of individuals, each one of them holding their own individual charms, unique personalities and histories. The only way these characters would fall into stereotypes is if they are not given adequate time to shine in the story. The personalities are there, it is just a matter of showing them and not letting the characters fall flat.

For example, one scene where the character personalities really shine through is at the end of chapter eight when Sariel, Uriel, and Avani are celebrating the discovery that they are royals. Watching the girls celebrate like this brings them to life and endures them to the reader. As long as strong scenes like this are included, the characters will stand up for themselves and not fall back on stereotypes.

Vocabulary/Description: In general, the scene setting is well done. It is fairly easy to picture all of the scenes. The descriptions, particularly those of the ancient kingdom of Woodmist and the people that inhabited it, are nicely detailed and visual.

The vocabulary and narration style seem fairly simple. While this does make the story easier to follow, including a bit more variety and complexity in the narration might give the storytelling more voice, making for a more engaging and interesting read. Varying sentence structure, as well as including literary devices such as similes and metaphors on occasion are some ways of diversifying the narration.

Plot/Storyline: The plot of A Woodmistian Legacy seems to be very well thought out. As said previously, there are an extraordinarily large number of characters in the story. However, every one of them seems to have a role to play. This can only be the result of careful planning. The story is still only just beginning in chapters four through eight, but clearly there is a lot of development in the works.

Already, Uriel has discovered an ancient book and learned about the lost kingdom of Woodmist (as well as the not so desirable opposing kingdom of Acolia). Uriel and her friends then travel to Japan, where they discover that they are not only descendants of the Woodmistins, but they are in fact royalty! From this point, the quest to find the Nine Sacred Jewels of Woodmist and restore the lost kingdom begins.

The plot progression is clear and compelling in the chapters reviewed. There is enough mystery to keep the reader hooked and wanting to know what the characters will discover next. It can be assumed that the story will only get more interesting and exciting from here, once the quest begins!

Summary: A Woodmistian Legacy: Hunt for the Nine Sacred Jewels features a compelling and diverse cast of characters. While the plot is only just beginning at the end of chapter eight, the story is certainly headed in a direction full of excitement and adventure!