Rebel Town Reviews [OPEN]

Cold Case (Chapters 1-5) - @JDTrue

Cold Case (Chapters 1-5) by JDTrue

Reviewed by AmyMarieZ

----------------------

Overview: Cold Case is a romance story packed full of drama and excitement. The story features two strong and well-defined leads: Detective Deacon Beckett and Layla. Both characters experience a dramatic life change at the beginning of the story. Deacon loses his job as a detective, and Layla catches her long-term boyfriend cheating, resulting in their breakup. Although the two main characters have never even met, it certainly is in the cards that they will shortly, as everything in their lives seems to be leading them to each other.

Structure: Cold Case is written in the third person limited point of view. The chapters switch between the points of view of the two main characters: Deacon Beckett and Layla. Switching the point of view like this with each chapter works well for this story. It allows the reader to gain sympathy and become attached to each character. It also builds a lot of suspense, leaving the reader wondering when they will finally meet.

Grammar: In general, the grammar in Cold Case is well done. The sentences are structured well, and grammar rules are followed throughout the story. However, specifically in the first chapter, there are a number of errors with punctuation, including missing quotation marks, commas, and apostrophes. Most of these mistakes seem to be errors in formatting resulting from copying text over from another word processer. A simple proofread would catch the majority of these issues. However, past chapter one the frequent errors in punctuation have been corrected. The only remaining grammatical issues are occasional missed commas.

Pace: The pace of the story is well done overall. The chapters are short, but each one packs a punch, keeping the story moving and entertaining. Each chapter pushes the plot along, introduces new characters and more drama and excitement. In each chapter, the two main characters Deacon and Layla unknowingly affect each other's lives, for example being at the same bar and living across the hall from one another. After five chapters, the two are still yet to met, but this only makes the story more suspenseful as the reader eagerly awaits when they finally will!

In general, individual scenes in the story are well paced. Character actions are described in a way that is easy to visualize. There are only a few locations where details of character action seem a bit rushed. Because the story plot is fast paced and interesting, a bit more time could be spent developing actions and transitions. For example, in chapter three when Deacon goes to the bar to pick up Asher, the scene setting felt a bit underdeveloped. A bit more time could be spent on description in this location without compromising interest and pace. A few more details of character actions and scene setting could help flesh it out.

Other locations where actions felt a bit rushed or jumbled where when characters move from place to place, for example Layla getting out of bed in chapter two, and Deacon opening and closing the door to his apartment in chapter three. Although these are tiny details, just a few more words to clarify actions could smooth out the transitions without bogging down the writing.

Character Development: Character development is where this story shines and goes above and beyond!

In the first chapter, the reader is introduced to the male lead, Deacon Beckett. The opening chapter shows him getting fired from his job as a detective for disobeying orders and engaging in dangerous behavior, even though he was certainly doing the right thing. This shows how he is morally good, but at the same time has a huge temper to compensate. After getting fired, he proceeds to smash a coffee mug on the face of Nick, the "coworker" who ratted on him and got him in trouble.