The New RFA

Depending on a Friend.

Sometimes, Eunha hated Jeaki. When she thinks of how better it'd be for her death to occur, how easy it'd be for her life to end, she just can't help this feeling. She wants to hurt him. She wants to make him feel the pain that she feels everyday. He doesn't understand, no matter how convincing his words were at the time. No matter how strong his actions were...

Yet, she still loves him. She can't help but want to hug him. She can't help but want to be close to him and make sure he knows he's loved. Make sure he never ends up like her. She doesn't want space with them. Never. Not emotional space, not physical space. She's had too much space for years! She's been isolated by her classmates for far too long and Jeaki is the only one who lets her close. Who lets her this close.

Eunha knows she has a borderline dependence on Jeaki. She knows he just acts as an unhealthy coping mechanism. She can't find herself to care much since nothing bad is happening. She could practically shake with the amount of love he gives her. She could stay there forever just beside of him. He's giving her what she craves. Why not? The hatred, however... Her emotions for him... It becomes blurry sometimes.

She loves him but she also hates him. Hates him for stopping her. Hates him for loving her. Hates him for playing into her selfishness. Hates him for catering to her need for love, even if she has more than enough. Hates him for giving her affection she doesn't deserve. Hates him for being the knight he is.... His personality... It's always been heroic.

He always has been the prince. He's always been the knight in shining armor. He's always been the one to save the princess (or prince, if the situation calls for it). His personality is one you don't find anymore. He saves the one in distress, sure, but he never wanted a kiss for his efforts. He never expects anything in return. He just wants to save everyone. Hell, he's innocent to any person's romantic advances! Very oblivious, very innocent boy.

She hates him. She loves him. Argue over both, it's true. She never expected a moment to move so slowly and fast all at the same time. That moment... It was just her and Jeaki. That's all. He just existed in her world as he praised her, argued with her, cried for her and with her. Just as she had only existed to him.

Eunha knows she selfish. She knows she's evil. She knows she's a terrible human being and that her friends deserve someone who won't eat up all of their time and worry. That Jeaki deserves a best friend like that.

A droplet of rain pulled her out of her thoughts as Eunha lifted her hand, feeling for more rain with a concerned look on her face. Jeaki looked up too, poker face activated. This was something he's practiced for years (He learned so by watching how Areum acted around the women he's around). Yet, as he looked at her, a smile appeared and his eyes twinkled as usual. His eyes could never hide that twinkle even as his face was in that blank stare.

"I think we should go home, Eunha," He said as he opened his umbrella, holding her hand to place the handle in it. "I know you won't accept it if I ask,"

"Jeaki, you're gonna get sick,"

"It's a small umbrella. You get it,"

"I-I've got a hood!"

"So do I," As if to prove his point, Jeaki lifted the hood of his jacket, giving her a smug smile in the process. "Just accept it for once. Let's go home," Jeaki said, beginning his walk as Eunha stared after him. He turned when he felt her stare and didn't hear her footsteps. "Hey, little rabbit, what's wrong?" That nickname.... She hasn't heard that in a long time. How dumb that nickname was but she couldn't help but laugh at it. They were seniors in high school and yet, he still called her that nickname from childhood.

"Nothing... I..." Eunha shook her head as she ran after him. Her footsteps slowed as she stood in front of him. "You're the rabbit here," She said, making him laugh.

"I don't know... Your hair reminds me of a rabbit camouflaging itself in the snow. You earned that title," Eunha grumbled under her breath at him before laughing herself.

He loved her. She couldn't help but laugh because she was still here. If she had jumped a few days ago, she wouldn't be here, hearing Jeaki joking with her. Hearing that childish nickname. Arguing over who should have the umbrella. Pretending they weren't going to both catch a cold if they didn't hurry.

She loved him for this. She loved him for helping her. She loved him for seeing something in her. For thinking she was something she doesn't even see herself as. He gave her a few reasons to stay on the rooftop but these are the moments that makes her really stop and think that she couldn't have any of this if it weren't for someone following her up there. To this day, she doesn't exactly know why Jeaki followed her. Why that day of all days? Probably because nobody goes on the roof.

She doesn't want to date him but the amount of affection she feels for this man in front of her... It's almost unbearable. It makes her want to explode. To add on to this, they're now bounded by a secret. They're bounded by trust. By a fateful decision. Eunha is in love in the most platonic form there is. Even she can see something like that.

Jeaki was the only man she was comfortable being so close with. Other men, they just want her for romance and feel as if they deserve some type of reward for being nice to her or for being her friend (Laon and Gyeong being an exception). Even if she were straight, she'd still hate it. As mentioned before, Jeaki doesn't do that. He wants no reward. Eunha knows Jeaki loves her genuinely and without a push.

Eunha loves the man. Still, the slight hatred that sometimes overpowers her love for him is there. "Eunha?" Jeaki's voice startled her, making her look at him quickly. "Are you okay?" He asked. Eunha's lip quivered as she looked at him. Jeaki was an angel sent from heaven. He was the god she should be worshipping, not the other way around. Jeaki looked alarmed for a moment as tears pricked at her eyes before she quickly pulled him into a hug, not giving him a chance to say anything.

His height was an enemy at the moment as he bent down awkwardly, making sure her feet were touching the ground before he wrapped his own arms around her to give her a hug of his own. Jeaki tightened his hold on her, making her somehow feel safer, warmer even.

"I don't know all that goes on in your head but... I can try to give you what you want. At least until you tell me things you want to tell me. Something is going on, right? You never really get this emotional.... Are you crying?!"

A/N: So I heard the song that I put in the video box and I knew it was a love song. I knew it was. Still, I had some Jeaki and Eunha vibes besides the kissing part of the song. That's when I realized I had the vibes because they are in love but in the most platonic form possible. They don't do romance but they do one thing better. In this day and age, their trust is one that you can't find in the average relationship.

I wrote this chapter with that song on repeat and I was crying, my dudes. It doesn't matter now! I'm awake and I've made it better!

A few things. Yes, Eunha grew a sort of dependence on Jeaki. Jeaki was this sort of unhealthy coping mechanism but not for anything bad, really. Just for his words or actions. Just for showing her the abundance of love she needs everyday to make up for the abuse she endures at school. Zen and her brother do give her love and so does the rest of RFA and second gen but Jeaki is kind of different. Think of it this way. An eagle would need a big fish to sustain itself or a ton of small fish. This is exactly how Eunha operates but love being the fish. Reason being that her classmates have abused her do much that she needs a shit ton of love to keep herself okay.

Jeaki gives her that majority she needs.

Another thing! This does not mean Eunha and Jeaki want to date. This just means that Eunha has scars that she seriously needs help with. Unfortunately, she does not get that help and Haneul finds a way to exploit her problem. This will be in a later chapter when I find a way to write it correctly and make it sound good. (Yes. Haneul was also a little ghost friend she had in highschool but sometimes you gotta betray your friends to see your goal).

Canon dependence and everything bit I may not like this chapter all that much. May have to rewrite it if it's not good enough.

This was a long a/n I'm so sorry!