The Darkness in my Mind

70.

I have a hard time believing that I am lovable. So I have a hard time believing you love me or ever did love me. And that's on me and it's something I'm trying to work on. You were great and I just had a hard time believing that you could ever love me because I'm just me. And I didn't take you for granted, I'm sorry if it seemed that way. I always put you on a pedestal, you were amazing you are amazing. I'm getting better, I'm getting help and I wanted to apologize because I never did then. I wasn't in a good place, I'm still not but I'm getting better. Thanks for forgiving me.

I can't believe that you're still relevant or that I am still relevant but you made an impact on my life. I spent a lot of time believing that I wasn't wrong but in reality I was wrong in that specific instance. You were trying to look out for me in your own way and I wasn't ready to accept anything was wrong with me. But as time passed I realized I was wrong and I realized something was wrong with me.

I'm getting help and apologizing is something I needed to do so that I could get it off my chest and move on. I need to stop feeling guilty and I need to grow.

Opening up and being vulnerable isn't bad but is in fact good. Apologizing when your wrong is good and not a sign of weakness. Moving on is good because life doesn't stop for you.