I like studying and I like learning but when I have to think about my marks and how I'm going to get into medical school I don't like it anymore. It is way too stressful for me to handle and I feel like a failure. I don't want to go to medical school, I just want to help people and I am not going to sacrifice my happiness for it. I want to help people and I can do that as a psychologist and I can still make money and I can still be happy. But the reason why I feel like I can't do that is because since I was little everyone expected me to be a doctor and now that I realize that I don't want that I feel like a failure, like I've let everyone down. I feel like people are going to think that I took the easy way out because it was too hard, I'm afraid of being looked down upon and I am afraid of disappointing people. All I want in life is to help people, travel, have kids, and be happy but I don't know how I am going to be able to do that when I can't even tell my parents that I've decided not to go to medical school.
I can't even blame any one person for my predicament because it is all my fault, I am the reason I'm here and I have to fix it but I don't have it in me. Society is just very difficult, being alive is difficult, feeling like you have to be perfect is difficult, feeling like a failure is difficult, having depression is difficult.
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The Darkness in my Mind
Proză scurtăThere is a little bit of darkness within everyone, a darkness that we are afraid to reveal to the world. But there is comfort in knowing that others suffer from the same darkness. So I am revealing my darkness to the world.
