'I Miss Her So Much'

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"Tonight, there will be a head to head challenge between Crock Creek and Snake Rock. The winner of the challenge shall claim an edible treat for their camp tonight. Now as leader, myself and my deputy have picked the challengers for this trial named - 'have your cake and eat it' -"

"Cake!" I and Kez exclaim, rapidly sitting up from laying and gazing at the Australian sky. "We have to win this!"

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Jack P.O.V

"Therefore the line up is as follows: representing Snake Rock are the fellow Shappi, Jennie, and Dennis. Furthermore, the fellow troops allocated for the trial for team Snake Rock are ... Vanessa, Kez, and Jamie. As always I wish everyone good luck in the trial, especially for my own team Crock Creek!"

"Why us?" Shappi laughs when looking up from her conversation about feet with Jennie.

"Because Jack and I received this message before we chose the challengers," Iain explains when I slump down beside Jennie. "We got a message from the fax machine: 'Crock Creek, you have all won care packages from friends and family for yourselves that you shall receive in a few days. However, you also have the chance to win the campmates at Snake Rock their care packages by competing in challenges with them over the next few days. To win a care package, you must win a trial. You will also eat if you win the trial. All the members of Snake Rock mustn't know about this as it must stay strictly confidential between all Crock Creek members.'"

"Oh my god!" Dennis whispers in shock. "So for us to win their care packages, we have to win the trial so they don't eat?"

"Yeah." I sigh. Just the thought of Holly having to starve for care packages, yet she doesn't even know she's winning them sounds so harsh. "They will wonder why we aren't letting them eat."

"So let's not win," Amir suggests, obviously not picking up the concept. But with thorough explaining whilst the other three scurry down the path to their trial, it takes what seem like hours for him to finally understand.

"What do you think they will say?" Amir asks me when Iain returns from 10 Downing Creek. "Like how do you think the girls will react?"

"Becky will be fuming." I laugh at the thought of her cursing at us, making up scenarios so we are the absolute devil in her eyes. "Vanessa and Jamie I think will be pretty frustrated, but Kez and Holly will be ok."

"I don't think Kez will care too much," Amir adds. "Holly will be ok though. She's a tough cookie she is."

"Why do people keep saying tough cookie?" Iain laughs. "But on a serious note, I think Holly will figure it out or suspect something, because she knows that you'd give up your food for her to eat."

"That's why I'm nervous," I say. "If we keep winning the trials, then I don't know what she'll think of me."

"She will be ok when she finds out," Iain starts when he places a supportive hand on my shoulder, "she'll think you're a hero."

"Thanks, Iain." I thank sympathetically, smiling gradually.

After what feels like hours of comfortable silence with a few critical jokes from Amir, and myself having to explain to Iain what a vlogger is, Dennis is the first to make an appearance from the path on the west of camp. "We won!" He exclaims, waving a small ticket, silver this time, around signaling it's equivalence to one care package.

"What was the trial then?" Iain asks jumping up from beside the campfire. My stomach feels a little tight, like nauseousness; it feels a lot like a very strong homesickness.

"It was how much you know about all of the campmates. Basically, there were 5 lights and we had to turn them all green by answering the questions correctly. And then when we got all the lights turned green, these cockroaches and mealworms and stuff all dropped on their cake."

"They probably weren't that happy." Jennie sniggers when she walks across behind Dennis. "Jack, are you ok? You look pale."

"I feel kind of nauseous."

"Like sick?" Shappi questions.

"No, not like physically sick," I say. "I don't know. I haven't felt it before."

It isn't long after we've eaten our roasted mud crabs that we decide to call it a night. But the entirety of the time, all I could think about was Holly and the rest of the girls with Jamie in Snake Rock. Sat there munching on the smallest portions of rice and beans whilst we are enjoying the strange meats of the outback.

Every single time I think of her suffering I feel physically sick - like I just want to fix it all by somehow telling her about the care packages. The only reason we are doing this is for there benefit, yet it's so hard to keep it from them.

"Jack?" Jennie whispers as I'm sat hunching over my knees on the rough muddy floor beside the campfire, staring aimlessly whilst focusing on my own thoughts and the sickening feeling inside me. "Whats up?"

"I just feel really weird." I breathe. "But not like infection sick, like homesick. But, I'm not missing home at all."

"I think I know whats going on, and you don't need medic Bob." She giggles quiet enough so we don't wake the rest of the sleeping campmates. "Budge over."

With Jennie sitting down beside me and following my gaze into the origin of the fire, she explains her theory. "So it's like you feel homesick but you aren't missing home?" I nod to assure her. "I thinking you're missing someone."

"But I don't miss my parents or friends or anything." I clarify.

"I don't mean outside the jungle silly," she teases. "I mean you miss your campmates, or at least just one of them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, take you and Holly. You are always together because you have so much in common, and honestly, I think you're starting to feel for her. Now you've been split up, its a bit like half of you has gone. And I bet Holly is feeling the exact way you are right now."

"You think so?" I ask, and Jennie nods, giving my leg a gentle squeeze of encouragement when standing. "Let's get some sleep ok?"

"Yeah." I huff, forcing myself up from my comfortable position in my own arms. Trundling across the rocky floor to my hammock, it only dawns on me that Jennie is 100% correct, when I look to see Holly's empty hammock.

I miss her so much.

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