We Are Divergent

Chapter Twenty-Four

I woke up in what I believe to be the middle of the night to the feeling of being airborne. I felt the floor disappear from beneath me and tried to scream, but my voice was too hoarse from the hours I sat there crying like a lifeless person.

I adjusted my eyes in the dark to see that it was only Tobias, lifting me off the floor and placing me on the bed. How long was he gone? Why did he come back? He must hate me. He has to hate me, I kept something so big from him after everything we had already been through, and now he might not be able to forgive me. I lunged up, grabbing onto his shirt for dear life, in case he tried to leave.

“DON’T LEAVE, PLEASE LET ME TALK, PLEASE,” I yelled-half-croaked.

“I’m not leaving, I’ll let you explain... I’m sorry for saying all of that to you Tris. That was horrible of me, I was just so… mad. And confused.” He said, scooting next to me on the bed.

I stared at his face that I could barely see in the dark, unbelieving. Eventually my head fell onto his shoulder and I started crying, yet again. He pulled me closer to him, listening to me act like a child in silence. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m acting like this,” I said once I had calmed down.

“You don’t always have to be strong, Tris.” He told me.

“I know, but I have to be now. You deserve an explanation. I-I just didn’t think you would come back. You had every right to hate me.”

“Of course I don’t. I acted selfishly. You have never given me a reason to not believe what you’ve had to say. Sure, you have lied about things, but it was always for a good reason. I just really hope you know what you are doing. It scares me knowing that you are involved in something so dangerous that I know nothing about.”

I pulled back so that I could face him. He took my hand in his, and they rested between us, intertwined as we sat crisscross on the bed. The dark silence reminded me of how late it probably is.

“So you don’t care that I’ve been meeting with them?” I asked.

“I do care, but I love you and you ought to have a chance to talk to me about it. I can’t promise that I will agree with it all but I will try to be more understanding. I’m sorry for blowing up at you.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered back, squeezing his hand lightly. Thank god it’s very dark right now, so he doesn’t have to look at my face that is surely sticky and swollen from crying. “What do you want to know?”

“I guess you can start with how you found these people, and also why it’s so dangerous.”

“I didn’t find them… they found me a week ago. I thought they were attackers but they just wanted me to talk to me. They told me how they have been gathering together for over a year, and how all they wanted to do was leave the city. At first I didn’t agree, because for the most part I like how things are here now. Yeah we still have factions, but divergents aren’t killed, Jeanine is gone, and we have so much more free will to decide where we want to be… But then something about them talking about leaving made me remember that I really do need to see what’s out there. They could need our help.”

“So I agreed to meet with them again, and they explained how they had plans, but they needed more help executing them. I asked them why you couldn’t come, because I didn’t want to do anything without you, and Zayn told me that you wouldn’t agree to anything if you knew he was involved, and to wait. He said that if I trusted them that maybe I could help get you to trust them too. They showed me how Evelyn is killing anybody who tries to leave. They know that people are trying to get out, so they would kill every one of us if they could. And they have killed some of them. She has spies in every single faction, which makes everything completely complicated because every move the Allegiant makes they have to be careful, because they never know who could see. I wanted to make sure it was safe enough and that I trusted them before telling you.”

He was silent for a while, and I wondered whether he was angry, disbelieving, or just thinking. “That doesn’t make sense… Evelyn wouldn’t do that.”

“Think about it Tobias. After I released the video of Edith Prior she locked me up. She was super mad, and she acted like it was never released. You had to get me out of that cell… We never thought much of it because she got along with us, and helped us change they city, and it seemed okay at the time. But she’s scared that we could mess up everything here and she’s been making sure nobody can leave. And that’s exactly what Jeanine was doing, except that Jeanine wanted to kill divergents and didn’t want anybody differing from a faction based society. That’s the only difference between what Jeanine did and what Evelyn is doing.”

“You’re right... That is something she would do. That’s not right of her to not give people the freedom to leave if they want. But I can see where she is coming from a little bit... What if everything here turns to chaos?”

I nodded. “We’re worried about that too. That’s why they’ve been coming up with different tactics, and hopefully things will go as planned and people won’t even know we left. If they find out we leave, there will still be members of the Allegiant here to make sure nothing goes haywire.”

“Okay…”

“Does that mean you agree?” I asked, hopeful.

“I agree with the overall idea. We should be allowed to go if we want. But I need to know more. I need to come with you to meet all of them and see proof and hear plans…”

“Thank you so much Tobias,” I whispered, kissing his neck. “I was so scared you wouldn’t agree… and that you would be so mad. I couldn’t do this without you. And I think they need you more than they need me.”

He pulled my head down onto his chest and wrapped his strong arms around me. “Doubt that. When are you meeting with them again?”

“Tomorrow night. They’ll be pleased that you are open to hear what they have to say.”

He brushed my cheek with his thumb. “How long were you crying?”

I closed my eyes. “I don’t know,” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry I made you cry,” I know he keeps saying that because I don’t cry often.

“Stop saying that, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, you were crying until you passed out on the floor, Tris. That’s a horrible thing for a boyfriend to do.”

“We all do things that are probably considered horrible sometimes. I hid something major from you for over a week. But we get through them. Thank you for coming back. I know I’ve lied to you too many times, and I wouldn’t have done it if I thought there was another way.”

He leaned down and kissed me lightly and his lips were such an instant relief. “Can I ask you something?” I asked.

“Sure,”

“Why did Zayn try and kill you? I don’t want you to not agree to this just because you hate him… I think he’s changed, he doesn’t seem vulgar at all.”

“Maybe, but I’ll still never fully trust him.” He pulled back to look at me, and tucked the blanket up higher over me. I started to wonder if he didn’t want to talk about it when he eventually spoke. “I was first in the initiate class, and a lot of people didn’t like that. Kind of like what happened to you. He cornered me one day with a gun and Amar, my instructor luckily walked in at just the right time...”

“Why didn’t Amar kick him out of Dauntless?”

“He was wearing a mask,”

“Then how’d you know it was him?”

“He was wearing the same bracelet that he always wore.”

I closed my eyes, finally feeling just how late it is. “I’m really glad Amar walked in,” I said with a yawn.

He chuckled and kissed my hair. “Me too,”

“And I’m glad you walked by at just the right time also, to save me from being killed.”

“I am glad about that also. Must be an instructor’s intuition.”

“No. It was just fate,” I whispered, half asleep. “If both things hadn’t happened at the exact times they did, we wouldn’t be together.”

“Yeah maybe,” He whispered back.

“Goodnight, Tobias,”

“Goodnight, Tris,”