We Are Divergent

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The next few weeks passed by much quicker then I would’ve liked. We were so caught up with helping the initiates through their landscapes and with meeting as much as we could with the Allegiant to prepare. We had a final plan and it would all start playing out in three days.

 I came around to telling Christina and Uriah what has been on my mind. I was incredibly unsure whether it was right to endanger them with knowledge, but they deserved to know. They both decided they would come outside the city walls with us, and I cannot tell whether I am relieved or saddened by that, but it is their choices. They understand the severity of the situation.

Today is the final test for the initiates and they will be timed on how fast they can get through their landscapes. Their ranks will be shared tonight in front of a big Dauntless gathering. Unfortunately, a few of our transfers will not be able to stay. The good thing though is that they can go home or even be retested to see where they truly belong.

Tobias and I walked down to the large room where they would soon come in to be tested. I can’t believe it has been over a month with them. They’ve all come so far, and I’m proud to say that I had a hand in making them as strong as they are now. Who knows, my first initiate group may end up being my last. I could die in a couple days leaving the city, and if I do survive, I have a feeling that a lot could change.

My throat felt tight as I thought about how much is about to happen. The selfish part of me screams for me to not do anything, and to stay here so that Tobias and I will definitely be safe together. I don’t want anything bad happening that may separate us, but I know that’s a risk I need to take.

“Tris?” Tobias asked, staring at me.

He always notices when even the littlest thing is off with me. I avoided his eyes and pretended to be listening to Zeke, Lauren, Uriah, and a couple of head Dauntless members discussing what was going to happen and how we would rank them  on the ways they get through their fear landscape. When he was about to say something again I just shook my head slightly so that he would know that it isn’t something we can talk about at this time, but I squeezed his arm so he would know I was okay.

The first initiate to be called was a Dauntless born, and I recognized her from the time we went zip lining a couple of weeks ago. She was nice and if I recall correctly her name was Cora. There was nothing notable about the amount of time it took her to get through her landscape, but she didn’t hesitate much and seemed so sure of herself. I’m confident she will make it through initiation.

Jonah went through his fears super quickly and surely he was the fastest out of all of them, even the Dauntless borns. He even had one less fear this time. He was no longer scared of Sage being with James, which made me smile. Sage and Sophia were exceptionally good with their times too, but I expected that. What I was not expecting was for Kayleigh to do as well as she did. She acted much braver than she had in all of our practices. I never underestimated her, because she always tried her best and even started getting better in combat, but it was like she came alive. She did amazing.

Mason fluked during his landscape, which could be really bad for him since he never thrived in the first two stages to begin with… He has some of the oddest fears I’ve ever seen like getting crushed by a piano, getting laughed at by children, and even one where all of his skin is burned off by acid. He must’ve been really nervous or maybe he wasn’t prepared enough, because he screamed and yelled for help the whole time, even though there was nothing we could do this time.

I was happy with most of them, and when we sat down with everyone after to discuss their scores I wasn’t very shocked at all with the results. I could’ve guessed it myself, and I anticipated the few people that would have to leave. After a while we had to head back to get ready, since all of the members of dauntless were starting to gather in the pit to hear who would make it. Tobias and I parted ways since I told Christina I would let her dress me tonight.

She opened the door on the first knock. “Hey Tris!”

“Hey,” I said, grinning.

She pulled me in and sat me down on her bed before rummaging through her closet. After a few minutes she pulled out a dress and held it out to show me. It was a black (obviously) dress that would probably reach my mid thigh’s that would hug my figure, even though I barely have one. It looked to be made out of a comfortable material, which is good at least. It would go all the way up to my collarbones, so my ravens won’t be visible, but my shoulder tattoos will be. The most prominent thing I noticed was the triangular holes in each side that would completely reveal some of my hip and stomach.

“Um, Chris, that looks a little too revealing for me.”

“It’s not, it doesn’t show any cleavage whatsoever, so the skin on your hip and stomach won’t seem that bad.”

I looked at it warily. “It’s short too,”

She sighed. “Tris, you’re eighteen. And it’s not that short. Most of the dresses we wear reach mid thigh. Just put it on.”

I bit my tongue and took it from her, putting it on as she looked through the closet for a dress for herself. When she turned around she gasped, and I rolled my eyes.

“Oh my god,” She said. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I didn’t make you wear that sooner, you are getting some tonight! Tris you look so… sexy.”

I walked over to the mirror. I did a slow turn as I examined my reflection. Wow… she’s right; it does look good on me… And it’s not as short as I thought.

“Told you so!”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Ok, what’s wrong?” She asked as she stripped in front of me, putting on her dress. “Why are you in a bad mood? You should be happy, you’re done training.”

“I’m worried,” I admitted. “I can’t get it off my mind.”

She looked up. “About… leaving?” I nodded. “Well you shouldn’t be. Our plan is going to work! You are never worried about this kind of stuff, you practically live for rebellion.”

“I never had much to lose… Or at least I didn’t realize how much I had to lose. I used to be so careless with my life. I didn’t realize how much I had to offer. I don’t want to die, Four needs me. I don’t want to live in a world without him either.”

She hugged me tightly. “You guys love each other so much… I wish I had that.”

I gulped and closed my eyes, blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall. “I’m sorry that I took that away from you.” I whispered.

“Oh, Tris. You didn’t. You didn’t mean to. And it was different with Will and I, we didn’t have what Four and you had. We were young and it was never as serious to Will as I wanted it to be. I believed that it was for a while. I didn’t want to admit that it probably wouldn’t have worked, especially after he died. I felt like I was betraying him by feeling that. I really did like him, but it wasn’t the type of love you and Four have.”

“Maybe you already have that type of love,” I said quietly, thinking about her friendship with Uriah that has grown so strong over the past two years.

She looked at me, smiling sheepishly. “Maybe,”

“Okay, enough of the emotional stuff.” I told her. “Let’s finish getting ready. We’re going to be the last ones down there.”

We took thirty more minutes preparing ourselves. Well, technically Christina prepared us... She straightened my dark blonde hair which reaches past my shoulders now. I only let her put mascara, eyeliner, and a little lip gloss on me, since the dress was already over the top for me. The ceremony wasn’t this fancy last year, but we decided it should be more formal since we are congratulating the hard work of so many initiates. Plus there are always tons of parties after. I slipped on a pair of her shoes, choosing black heels that weren’t too tall and then we headed down to the pit. I could already hear the roar of everyone talking. It’s not often that we all gather there at one time, since there are so many of us.