Can We Try That?

I Can Hear You

TW: Slight Mentions of homophobia and self-harm

Connor's POV

Get excited my pals

"H-Hi Connor." I hear someone say. It takes me to recognize the voice.

Evan?

I try to speak, but my lips won't move.

I try to open my eyes, but they won't budge.

All I can do is listen.

I look around the inky blackness I'm surrounded by. It's never ending. I assume I'm still alive since this doesn't look like heaven or hell. I feel disappointed, knowing that I failed to end my life. One day, I'll wake up and continue to live a sucky life. I will still be a waste of space and Evan will still hate me.

Evan.

If he hates you why is he here, a voice in my head whispers.

That gets me thinking. I'm cut off when I hear Evan's voice again.

"I-I know you p-probably can't h-hear me, but I-I still f-feel like your t-the only person I-I can talk to w-without having them j-judge me. I g-guess I'll j-just update y-you on some things." He said. I could feel his warm hand grip my own. I realized how icy my hand is.

"W-Well, Dr. Sherman i-isn't my therapist a-anymore." What the fuck? Who the hell is Dr. Sherman? "I told Leo a-about all the t-things he s-said. I h-hope that son o-of a bitch g-gets fired. He'll b-be the one t-to rot in h-hell." Evan told me. Alright, now I was confused and pissed. What happened to Veronica? And why was Evan calling this guy a son of a bitch? My sweet little Ev never cursed.

"And I've b-been feeling b-better r-recently. After mom confronted m-me I-I stopped. I'm t-trying to g-get a job. I've j-just felt so good. And t-then one o-of your d-doctors called me. T-Told me you flatlined. Twice. You s-scared the shit o-out of m-me. I r-regret it s-so much now, b-but I did it a-again. I cut m-myself again Con." Evan whispered. His quiet sniffles turned into sobs. My heart shattered. 

Evan had started cutting himself. I had never imagined him to start self-harming. But he did. And now he was sobbing right next to me and there was nothing I could do. I urged my body to do something.

Twitch! Flinch! Move, God Damnit!

I felt my fingers twitch. I could hear Evan's sharp intake of breath. He squeezed my hand and held on tight. I tried to squeeze back, but my body would not obey. At least it had let me try and comfort him. Evan's sobs subsided.

"I l-love you so much C-Con. So, s-so much. W-Why did you h-have to go and s-swallow t-those pills? I c-can't help but f-feel like it's m-my fault." He told me.

Evan, it's not your fault! It was my own choice!

"Everyday I-I miss y-you s-so much. I miss seeing y-your smile. H-Hearing your l-laugh. L-Looking into y-your eyes. Just g-getting to t-talk t-to you and having y-you respond." Evan said.

I urged my eyes to snap open. They didn't move. I told my body to flinch or just do something! It didn't obey. 

"Evan?" A new voice called out.

"I-I'm over here." He told them. I could hear their footsteps as they most likely crossed the room.

"Are you okay?" They asked.

"I'm f-fine Julia. Just h-heard Connor f-flinched today. I w-wanted t-to talk to him a-again." He explained.

So it was Julia.

"Do you think he can hear you?" She questioned. It was silent for a moment before Evan said,

"Sometimes I-I want h-him to. Other times I-I hope h-he can't hear what I'm saying." It was silent for a few more minutes.

"I'm gonna go. Just wanted to stop in and see if anything happened. Do you want a ride?" Julia asked.

"S-Sure. I s-should p-probably get home." Evan told her. I could hear the two of them get up and leave the room. I was left with only the sounds of my heart monitor to keep me company. Internally, I sighed. I had nothing to do and no way to tell how much time passed. It wasn't until I heard another familiar voice that things got interesting.

"Hi sweetie." I could tell it was Cynthia. I felt a part of my bed dip. She had probably sat down. I felt her grip my hand.

"I feel so lonely at home now. You're here, Zoe is with her friends, and Larry is somewhere else. I'm so happy I finally stood up to him." She told me. Woah. My dick of a sperm donor was kicked out of the house? I missed a lot.

"Cynthia?" Speak of the devil.

"Larry." Cynthia growled. I could feel her stand up.

"What're you doing here?" She asked him, a mix of anger and fear in her voice.

"I came here to visit my son." He told her. In my head, I snorted. Didn't he say that I wasn't his son anymore when I came out?

"Why? Didn't you disown him when he came out to you?" Cynthia asked him. Burn.

"He's still my son." Larry exclaimed. I could hear someone move closer to the bed.

"Don't come any closer Larry." Cynthia demanded. Footsteps moved farther away. He must've left because I heard her start to cry and sit back down on my bed.

"I miss you Connor. Please wake up soon." She pleaded through her tears.

I will.

I better.

Sup my dudes. This may or may not be my last chapter for a few days, because the holidays are upon us and I'll probably have to spend some time with the fam. So, I would like to wish all of you a safe and happy holidays! I'll probably be up late scrolling through YouTube or tumblr and reading some fics tonight cuz of Doki Doki. Thank you so much Julia. Oh, wish me luck for tomorrow! I have some more fam coming over and I have to attempt to have a conversation with them. It's not like I don't like them, it's just that I find it hard to have a conversation with them because I find myself a little awkward and anxious. I would rather not talk to anyone, spend all day on wattpad and buzzfeed, and then eat food. But I already did that for Thanksgiving. Uggggh. Well, I hope you liked the chapter. Thank you for reading! I love all of you so much!

-Cronch