Can We Try That?

Remembering

TW: Mentions of homophobia

Evan's POV

I woke up with sunbeams hitting my face. I groaned and covered my eyes. I had probably slept for only a few hours. I picked my phone up off my nightstand. I clicked it on and saw the time.

9:00 A.M.

I groaned again before kicking off my blankets. I shivered as a wave of cold air washed over me. Goosebumps prickled my arms and I tried to rub away the cold.

 I sat up. I put my legs on the side of my bed. I told my body to stand up. It didn't. I flopped back down and slowly slid off. I carefully lowered myself to the ground. I was finally able to stand up. I gripped my phone tighter as I yawned and walked into the hallway.

My feet dragged behind me as I shuffled into the kitchen. Leo was already there making breakfast.

"Good morning." He said cheerily as I grabbed a mug from one of our cabinets. I picked up the hot pot of coffee and poured it into the mug. I downed the hot, bitter coffee.

"Morning." I grumbled as I poured myself another cup. This time I added cream and sugar. All of a sudden, I smelt something wonderful.

Bacon.

I whipped my head around. In a pan on the stove, bacon was sizzling. I had barely eaten anything for days. I quickly glanced at Leo. His back was turned. It was time. Within the blink of an eye, I grabbed a few pieces of bacon and shoved them in my mouth. It didn't matter that they were hot. All that mattered was that it tasted good.

I finished fixing up my coffee and hopped up to sit on the counter. I swung my legs back and forth as I blew into the mug.

"Want some breakfast?" Leo asked me as he clicked off the gas. 

"Yes p-please." I said. He took out two plates and covered them with toast, bacon, and fruit. We plopped down on the couch and mindlessly ate as we watched TV.

"T-Thanks for t-the breakfast." I told him as I brushed my crumbs off onto my pants.

"No problem Evan." Leo responded with a smile. After breakfast, we parted ways. Leo was going to go "hang" with some "friends". I had my own plan. I bundled up in layers to fight the freezing weather. (It's freezing heere in NJ.) With one last wrap of a scarf around my neck, I was ready to go.

I locked the door behind me. I squinted as the wind hit me head on. I looked down at my beat up shoes as my eyes watered. I continued my trek. After what felt like an eternity, I finally reached the cemetery.

It's old, rusted gate welcomed me. I looked around at the grey gravestones. Some were covered in wreaths or flowers or little notes tacked to the ground. Others were bare. I meandered across the crunchy grass until I found her grave.

Veronica P. Sawyer

1972-2017

A wonderful daughter and friend. You will be missed, but never forgotten.

By the looks of her grave, she would never be forgotten. At least for now. She had different notes tacked into the frozen ground so they wouldn't blow away. Blue flowers, some fresh and others dead, surrounded the site. And finally, a beautifully decorated wreath in front of the gravestone. 

I pulled out the tiny handful of blue flowers I had found on the way over. I lowered myself onto the cold, hard ground and gently placed them next to other flowers. Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered how much Veronica had helped me.

She had never judged me for constantly crying in her office or for being Bi. She brought Connor and I together. Veronica had done so much more. I had never thought that one day I would never be able to talk to her again. That she would die.

Tears were now streaming down my face. I could hear two pairs of footsteps in the distance, but I paid them no attention. I was flashing back to Veronica's funeral.

I gripped Mom's hand tighter as we walked into the church. People were milling about and quietly chatting. Most of them were crying or giving each other sad smiles. 

Pictures of her were everywhere. There were some of her with her friends from high school. Pictures of her as a baby. Different graduations throughout the years. An endless waterfall of tears ran down my face.

Why did this have to happen to Veronica?

I snapped back to reality when I heard the two pairs of footsteps get closer. All of a sudden, the footsteps stopped right next to me. I looked to my right and saw a pair of fancy boots and a pair of scuffed winter boots. The shoes were connected to two women. Both of them sat down on the ground next to me. They had tears in their eyes. After a few minutes of tense silence, one of them spoke.

"So, how did you know Veronica?" The blonde woman asked me. I felt my hands clam up and start to shake.

"S-She was m-my t-therapist." I admitted. The brunette spoke next.

"We were both Veronica's friends since high school."  She said. The woman stopped for a minute, wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry. We haven't introduced ourselves yet. I'm Martha."

"I'm Heather." The other woman told me.

"I-I'm Evan." I chimed in. A silence settled over us again.

"Evan, I don't mean to be nosy, but are you seeing a different therapist now?" Heather asked me.

"I-I w-went to go s-see another one. His n-name w-was Dr. Sherman. He d-didn't do anything though. Only r-ranted o-on and on h-how I was g-going t-to hell because I-I'm Bi andohmyGodIjustadmittedthattoyouI'msorryyouprobablydidn'twanttoknowthat." I rambled as I felt my face burn. A look of anger flashed over Heather and Martha's faces.

"Your therapist, the person who's supposed to help and support you, discriminated you?" Martha questioned as notes of anger crept into her voice. I could only nod. The duo shook their heads side to side in disgust.

"I know you don't know me well, but I feel like Veronica would want me to do this. I'm a counselor over at the high school. I love the job, but I'm hoping to move on to another place soon. Someplace like where Veronica was at. I was wondering if you would like to have some sessions with me? I know how hard it is to find another therapist and I hope I can help with that. Here. Take my card." Heather told me as she dug around in her jacket pocket. She finally found the card and handed it to me.

I took the card and thanked her. After a few more minutes, I got up to leave.

"T-Thank you b-both s-so much. It w-was really n-nice meeting you." I said as I waved at them. I walked out of the cemetery and practically jogged back to my apartment. I sighed when a wall of warm, toasty air hit me. I hung up my jacket, took off my shoes, and waddled to my room. I put the card on my nightstand before flopping down onto my bed.

Again, I was making progress. I felt like I was getting better.

But would I actually keep my progress this time?

Or would I just have to keep starting over?

Hey my bros! I hope you liked the chapter! Thank you to @jimmytaketheshot for giving me some ideas as to what to make this chapter about! I'm super upset though because on Tuesday I have to go back to school. Other than that, not a lot is going on. I had a double sleepover with Julia. I think I'm doing something with another friend tomorrow. Welp. Thank all of you so much for reading! Love you guys!

-Cronch