stray kids imagines

jisung

- angst to fluff

- tw: body image, weight insecurities, eating struggle, ed

03/08/21 editing me: i wrote this as comfort for myself back in 2018 cuz i struggled w this shit so much. still do lowkey. so tbh i didnt expect this to get reads or attention. sorry if this chapter was triggering for anyone since there wasnt any tw before. i should've known better considering i know what its like. so sorry, i will be better.

she grabbed the fat around her stomach and moved it up and down

'why wasn't i born skinny? why wasn't i born with a flat stomach? why do i have to be so lazy and not have motivation to workout?' y/n mumbled sadly to herself while observing her body

she bit her lip and pulled her shirt back down and flopped herself back on her bed

she laid there, scrolling through her phone for the rest of the day while waiting for jisung to come home

she haven't even realized that the guys came home until jisung opened the door to their shared bedroom

'hey!' he said as he poked his head through the door

i looked up from my phone and smiled at him, 'hi'

'have you eaten? we're ordering pizza,' jisung asked me

i thought about it and decided not to eat so i shake my head at jisung and said 'no. i ate already, thanks though' and i gave him a small smile

'oh, alright then' jisung hesitantly said and closed the door to our bedroom

for the next few days, i ate less and less and just ended up eating nothing

luckily, jisung and the other guys haven't noticed anything yet

[le time skip]

+jisung's pov+

for the last few days, i've realized that y/n had been getting paler and thinner

i'm worried about her so i went to chan for help

'hey chan' i said to him as i walked into his room

he looked up from his phone and smiled at me, showing his dimples, 'hey. what's up?'

'well, i've realized that y/n had been getting paler and thinner these past few days and i don't know what to do about it. h-how can i help?'

'um...i don't know'

i gave him a 'wtf' look

'ok ok i'm sorry. have she been eating these past few days?'

i started thinking about it and realized that every time i asked if y/n wanted to eat, she would say no

shit...oh- i mean, oh no

i got up and ran out of chan's room while saying thanks

i ran into our shared bedroom and saw y/n laying on our bed, with her head stuffed between the two pillows

'hello...' i carefully said to her thinking she might be asleep

she quickly lifted up her head and looked around the room confused, 'huh'

'here. i'm over here sweetie' i said to her while raising up my hand and waving

she smiled when she spotted me, 'oh hello'

i gave her a smile but quickly stopped when i remembered why i was here in the first place

'y/n...' i walked towards our bed and sat on the edge

'hmm?'

'h-have you been starving yourself?' i said sadly as i looked down at her hands held in mines

she widened her eyes at my question and started stuttering, 'w-why do you ask?'

'answer my question y/n' i said softly

'yea...' she said slowly, sounding ashamed of her actions

i pulled her into a hug and put my chin on top of her head

'why?' i whispered to her

'because i don't like my appearance' she mumbled but i still heard what she said

'stop. stop it y/n. don't starve yourself or harm yourself just because you don't like your appearance. everyone is perfect in their own ways and you're perfect in my eyes and the guys'. we all love you for who you are and you don't have to change your appearance just because you think you're not pretty. and even if you do want to try to change, i want you to do it the healthy way. i want you to still eat, i don't want you to starve yourself. please don't keep doing this to yourself. i love you y/n'

i said a whole speech to her telling her to stop what she was doing and i didn't realize that y/n started crying

'i'm sorry. i didn't realize that this would've hurt you too' she said as she tried to stop the tears

'shhh...it's okay. calm down y/n'

she calmed down and whispered, 'i love you jisung' to me

i smiled and whispered, 'i love you y/n'