Don't Save Me | BTS FF • 21+ ✓

[9] Let's Skip School Pt. 2

~Y/n's POV before the rest of Bangtan arrived at the dance room.~

Hoseok dragged me inside BigHit and into the dance room. "What are we doing here Hobi?" He goes over to the speaker plugs his phone and plays music.

Hoseok: "Dancing helps your worries go away." He holds out his hand. I shake my head. The last time I danced was the day I stopped playing piano.
Hoseok: "Its okay I can teach you if you don't know how." I inhale and exhale out. "I haven't danced for years so I'm a bit rusty." Hoseok nobs smiling and sits down waving to the center of the room.

Hoseok: "Go I'll watch then join."
I stand in the middle of the room and stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are empty green gems with tiny specks of grey. My freckles making my goldish brown hair stand out. I remember when my eyes use to be full of life and I remember the day it disappeared. I rapidly blink forcing the hot tears away.

~Flashback [21+] and WARNING Depressed thoughts~
I was 13 years old. I was in my tutu practicing in the ballet room looking at myself in the mirror. I smiled brightly as I did pivots and chasses (a/n I use to take dance class so I know some steps but don't remember how they're spelled.) I kick my right foot up pointing my feet and jump up midair making a split landing on my two feet perfectly. I giggle knowing I did the steps right. In a few hours the dance show for my school will start and I'll be front and center in the stage along with some of my friends from dance class. I start practicing once again but stop when the door is slammed close and locked by my father. He creepily smirks at me. I run to the corner of the room shaking my head already crying. "NOO PLEASE!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" My dad walks towards me taking off his belt.
Dad: "Sorry pumpkin daddy wants you right now." He stands in front of me and tightly grips my arm. "NOOO! PLEASE TODAY IS THE RECITAL!! Please dad not today." I cry more as I beg my father to keep himself at bay for today. He scoffs then licks his lips staring at me hungrily.
Dad: "Pumpkin. No recital for you today. You have to obey me. Hmm your breast got bigger." He throws me to the ground and hovers above me. I keep crying as father tightly grips my breast and moans against my neck. I face the mirror as he rapidly rips of my tutu and the rest of my clothes.
Dad: "Ooh pumpkin so hot and tasty." I shudder as he licks my stomach. He takes off his pants and boxers slamming inside me. I cry out in pain. Father thrusts into me at a fast pace pushing himself deeper inside e me. He hods my hands over my head one hands and the other one plays with my nipple. I can't look away from the mirror nor close my eyes. I feel ashamed and disgusted as my father rapes me once again. I close my eyes trying to grasp on to the last string left of happiness in me. It shatters to pieces as my fathers pulls out moaning as his liquids spill on my stomach. I slowly open my eyes and soullessly look at the mirror. My father gets dressed and throws me a change of clothes.
Dad: "That was great pumpkin see you tonight in your room. Oh don't bother showing up for the recital I told the teacher you won't be making it for being sick. I also pulled you out of the dance class so now you can stay home all day after school." He walks out closing the door behind him. I keep staring at the mirror. Seeing myself naked with cum on my stomach slowly dripping on the floor. My eyes were full of life and happiness a few moments ago now they're red and puffy. Empty...no emotion. I sit up and crawl to my water bottle wetting my towel and cleaning my whole body harshly making my skin red and feel raw. I put on the change of clothes father threw at me. I look at the mirror one last time. I look fragile and extremely skinny...pale as a ghost...lifeless. The last wisp of happiness inside me is now gone. My entire being is empty..disgusting...ugly...fat..
"I'm a disgusting human being! I'M FAT!! I'M UGLY!! INSIDE AND OUT!!" I punch the mirror causing it to crack. I cry out and fall on my knees.
I feel a new different emotion slowly crawling into my mind and soul. Slowly settling itself inside me. My heart slowly beats as the new emotion takes over it. The back of my mind starts speaking dark thoughts. You are ugly. Your fat and disgusting. No one will want someone like you. No one wants a girl who gets used by her father and strangers. You should die. No one wants you. No one will care if you die. I flinch knowing its all true. As I stand up I feel weak and notice the voice in my head won't shut up. Why won't it shut up and leave!!? WHAT IS THIS FEELING!! WHY IS TELLING ME THIS!!! WHERE DID THE SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL GO!!? Why...why is this happening to me? The questions spin in my head unanswered.
~End of Flashback~