Don't Save Me | BTS FF • 21+ ✓

[42] Alone

These next five chapters will only be Y/n's POV

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~Saturday, March 17, 2008~
~6:45pm~

I sit on the couch blankly staring at the TV.

Its a really small apartment.

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Front door

Kitchen.                      Living Room

Bathroom.        Bedroom.
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It's small.

This should be an apartment for a happy person.

They would feel warm and cozy in here but all I feel in here is...

Coldness.

Loneliness.

Emptiness.

I look around expecting to hear Jin kicking Taehyung out of the kitchen for sneakily eating food.

Namjoon dropping plates or stubbing his toe on the edge of the couch.

Hoseok screaming excitedly as his favorite show comes on.

Jungkook and Jimin arguing over the blanket as they lay on the floor.

Yoongi watching everything in amusement lovingly smiling as he falls asleep on the couch.

I look around the apartment weakly laughing as I remember all our moments together.

I sit patiently waiting for the voice to talk...

But it doesn't.

I try finding it but all I find is a void.

A dark empty void.

I close my eyes listening to the quietness of the apartment.

I feel the darkness slowly churning at the back of my mind and at the bottom of my soul.

I remember the words of Jin.
Taehyung.
Jimin.
And Jungkook.

They want me gone.

I touch the darkness with the tip of mind.

It wakes up and starts crawling filling up my mind.

I reach out to the darkness in my soul.

Slowly nudge it.

It wakes up slowly filling up my whole body and soul.

They stop close to my heart as if waiting for permission.

The warmness from the guys is holding my heart in a protective cocoon.

The darkness touches it with a little tap.

It hisses and recoils back.

Both darkness go back to sleep.

As if waiting for some kind of invitation.

I'm alone.

Completely alone in a cold apartment.

I open my eyes.

Facing the black TV screen.

On the table in front of me.
My phone lays on the table.
With a black screen.

No one has bothered to believe me.
I haven't answer their last message.

I grab the remote and switch the TV on.

I don't pay attention to what's on screen.

I just want some noise in this place.

The voice is gone.

Leaving its void behind.

It'll come back tomorrow.

Like it did last time.

~Flashback~

I sit on my bed staring at my bedroom door in fear.
Waiting for father to drunkenly come in.
The house is empty mother out having a business dinner with her co-workers.
Father out with his friends at the bar.
I once again alone.
The voice is also gone.
This is the first time the voice doesn't put me down.
I get up walking over to my door.
My hand hovers over the doorknob.
I jump hearing the front door slam shut.
Father: "PUMPKIN IM HOME!" I breath heavily as his heavy footsteps make his way upstairs.
I lock my door and run to my bed and hide under it. He kicks open my bedroom door.
I gasp quickly covering my mouth. I watch his black polish shoes pace in front of my bed.
Father: "Pumpkin I know you're in here. Come out or I'll punish you." I think it over in my head.
Father always hurts me as he rapes but a punishment is ten times worse.
I uncover my mouth and slowly crawl out from under the bed. I look up at father who grins.
Father: "Good pumpkin."
He unbuckles his belt. Unbuttoned his pants and pull down the zipper.
Father: "You get a treat. A lollipop." He pulls out his hairy member. I close my eyes cringing and gagging in the inside. Father grips the back of my head.
Father: "Suck it good and I'll leave you alone for tonight."
I open my mouth. He slams his member in my mouth. I try not gag or else he will punish me. Father grunts as he thrusts in my mouth. I cry silently feeling hot tears run down my cheeks. I start sucking and licking. Father groans.
Father: "Just like that pumpkin. Pick up the pace." I do as he says and hum a song so it can send vibrations to my father. He hits the back of my throat my eyes widen as I feel the acidy bile built up in my throat close to pouring put. I breath in and out.
Just one more minute and this will be over.
Father once gain hits the back of my throat exploding in my mouth. Father holds my head in place.
Father: "Swallow it all pumpkin." I swallow it. He pulls his member out of my mouth. Father pats my head before walking out of my room. Once I hear his footsteps fade away. I puke on the floor and on my knees. I cry as I puke out everything in my stomach. I stop. I breath calming myself. I crawl on my bed feeling lightheaded.
I'll clean up tomorrow morning.

~End of Flashbacks~

I cry at the memory. I curl myself on the couch sobbing loudly.

My life is worthless.