¤I don't want to let you go!¤
(China x Reader)
You could feel your power leaving you. Slowly with each passing day you were becoming weaker and weaker. Eventually you knew what was going to happen, but you didn't mind. If dying meant that you could let your precious angels live, it was all worth it. You were at peace, you were dying for those you love the most.
You learned quite late about what you were: a land. You were born when your father's territory split into two, giving birth to you and your brother. Your father was Rome, his empire was slowly decaying, in his place new lands coming to life. Your father told you all of this, he said that maybe one day he'll be gone, but that will be probably because his empire won't exist anymore, which was fine, that meant that you and your brother were becoming stronger. You and your brother got used to the idea. After years of waiting, a little scared, your dad was at ease. You grew strong and he didn't die, that meant that he will be with you guys for way longer than he expected. That was until one faithful day.
One day, while you and your family were out fishing on the lake near your house, you heard babies crying. Your brother and dad heard them too but they were too skeptical to go and check. You were the one that went to check, somewhat of a mother instict kicking in you. You went towards the place were the crying came from. Finally you located the crying, it came from a tall bush. You checked it and you found two beautiful babies. You felt you cheeks wet, you couldn't believe it. How could someone be so cruel? You picked up the little angels and went back to your family. When you arrived you saw that your dad has fainted. You and your brother were scared.
When he woke up, your dad explained that those weren't human babies, but new lands.. more specific: a new country. On that day Italy was born with North and South Italy: Italy and Romano. Your whole family knew what that meant. Your dad was going to die. You cried a long time, affraid that you'll lose him, but at the same time you were happy for the newborns and hoped that they will be able to grow up strong.
Rome wanted to travel around the world one more time before he dies and he wanted you all to go with him. You went on a journey for your dad's sake. Even though at first you didn't want to leave your house for so long, you were glad you did. On the way you found true love. You were in Asia when it happened. You found him, your own and only soulmate. What was even better was the fact that he was just like you, he was the man of your dreams. It was China. With your father's approval, after lots of begging and crying of course, you moved with your lover. You took the kids with you too, to protect them from any evil. You went to visit your family quite often, so it was alright. Italy and Romano loved Rome, he thaught them all bunch of things about art and other stuff. They just loved him, and you loved them. China loved the kids too, they made you happy so they made him happy too.
After a few years though, you got a letter. It was from your brother saying that your dad died. You moved back right away, you knew that it wasn't good. It only meant that his empire finally came to an end. At home you saw how your brother was starting to grow weak, it was his turn. You didn't want this to happen, but it had to happen, for Italy and Romano.
"Mama, where is grandpa?" Italy asked. Your heart was going to break if you saw your angel in such pain so you came up with the story of how Rome just vanished and no one knows about his whereabouts. That seemed to make Italy calm down a little.
You stood home with your family, your lover visiting from time to time. He wanted to make sure you are okay. He noticed how sad you were and the fact that you tried to hide it. Whenever he'll ask you'll brush it off like nothing happened. But he knew something was going on.
Finally the unfortunate day came and you watched how life was leaving your brother's eyes. He died in your arms. This time Italy and Romano were aware of their uncle's death. It was your turn.
China finally had the guts to ask you one more time, this time he was more persistent. You told him everything he had to know, you couldn't keep it in anymore. You didn't want to die, you wanted to watch your babies grow, now they were only toddlers. What will happen after you'll die? You didn't want to die. China was confused but then got very sad. He saw how desperate you were. He didn't want to see you like this, he wanted to do something to make it all better so he tried to find ways to keep you alive longer. He tried every potion and magic trick, but it just wouldn't affect you in any way. Your health was getting worse day by day, you got thin everyday, losing the colour in your cheeks.
After long debates with yourself you finally found peace. One night as you watched Italy and Romano sleep peacefully next to you, your heart filled with warmth. You loved them, it was all worth it. They will be just fine.
One day China came to visit. He was not smiling like other times. He was just.. sad. You kissed him lovingly as he sat down on the bed next to you. The state you were in just ripped him appart on the inside. He slowly caressed your cheek and planted soft kisses on your forehead.
"My love.. How are you feeling today?" He said, nearly crying.
"I'm well. I was able to cook for the kids. You should have seen their chubby faces full of glee as they saw the sweets I made for them." You giggled quietly.
"My love, I can't bare to see you like this." He finally talked about what was eating him alive. "We tried everything.. And nohing can keep you next to me.. unless.." He looked you in the eyes dead serious. "They die."
"No, they won't. They are my precious little angels, they won't die for me, that's not how it is supposed to be." You protested.
"What about me? I love you too much to let you! I don't want to let you go! You are everything I ever wanted, everything I ever wished for! I love you so, so much.." He cracked, letting his tears come to surface. "Can't you see you can barely walk on your own anymore! I love you too much to see you like this.."
"I love you too, but no.. They can't die." You said sternly.
"I'll kill them." Your face went pale, if that was even possible anymore.
"No!" You yelled, as best as you could.
"Either you kill them or I will." China said pulling out a sharp black knife. He knew he was hurting you, he knew how much you cherished them, but he was too selfish to let you be. He wanted you for himself, he loved you so much, he didn't want to be alone again. You cried. He just won't understand! That's what it's supposed to happen, it was the course of life. There's no point in fighting against it! Why can't he see how much he is hurting you by doing this.
"I.. I'll do it." You said between shaky breaths. Your answered seemed to please your lover. He kissed your forehead and handed you the knife.
"Tomorrow I don't want to see them around. If they are still around I'll do it myself." He said one last time. "I love you, my love... I'm sorry, but I know better." He said and left.
You whimpered. You called your boys inside your room. You wanted to spend the rest of the day with them. They were the apples of your eyes.
"Mama, what do you want to do?" Italy said as he climbed in the bed.
"I don't care as long as we don't have to leave the bed." Romano pouted as he crawled on top of your legs and put his head on your tummy.
You giggled softly. You hugged them tightly, kissing both of their heads. "I love you, Italy! I love you, Romano! I love you, my little angels!" You said and hugged them tightly, spending the rest of the day cuddling with them. At night you were going to do it.
Morning. A new day. A new beggining. China came back. He took with him a basket full of flowers and other stuff that you liked. He knocked on the door once, twice.. The third time he knocked the door opened revealing Italy and Romano with puffy eyes. China was in shock.
"Mama.." Italy cried.
"She has a knife stuck in her heart, she's not moving." Romano spoke, tears streaming down his cheeks.
China ran into the room and fell to his knees at the sight. He screamed loudly, tears falling out of his eyes. After a long moment of yelling he stoped and whimpered. He was shaking and crying.
"Farewell, my love.." He finally understood.
