Where do we go from here.

Funny feeling

We got up the next morning and Joey Snuck back into his house we all had to get ready to drive him to the airport I was driving today because Kay was having some problems seeing no one wanted her to make the 2 Hour Drive. Joey's flight back to LA was taking off in a few hours. I got myself ready and laid on my bed and called Rae for a minute since I really hadn't had a chance to talk to her since the fight the front yard. We piled into my Mercedes at 2 o'clock so we could get to the airport in time for Joey's 5 o'clock flight. For some odd reason there was an awkward kind of silence between Joey and I the entire 2 Hour Drive to the airport. As we sat in the airport waiting to board "Joey Joe is there something wrong""not really just not ready to leave yet""I don't want you to leave either". I was fighting the tears back as hard as I could. "I just don't know how I am going to get through not being able to see you for like 3 months.""we will be ok we will call everyday " I really wish I believed that in my heart before to long we all heard on the loudspeaker now boarding flight 619 from Boston to LosAngeles at gate 9. Everyone made their way down to the plane except Joey he just sat and hugged me just a little longer, kissed me just a little deeper than normal and as a tear left his eye he said " I love you my love" and with that he was gone.
For the next couple weeks my life just seemed to be me running on auto drive never truly enjoying it. I have talked to Joey but with them really finding some success with the tour going our calls seemed to be becoming less and less and shorter when we did talk. It was Thanksgiving break and Rae was staying at my house when my dad called us into his office " Lee""yea daddy ""I got something to tell you Rae too" We both sat in the chairs in front of his desk and simultaneously said "yes daddy" (she calls him dad too and I call her dad and mom mom and dad too)" well princess I know you have been miserable since Joey and the guys left so how do you feel about these" and he held up 2 tickets and passes to the Boys concert in New York for that Friday. " are you serious daddy""yes I already cleared it with Rae's dad so you are going to my second daughter ""omg daddy"" now here is the catch you need to stay with aunt Nadine well your there ""deal" we both jump up and hug him " ok you need to pack up your flight leaves outta here tommorow oh and Pumpkin ""yes daddy""I do expect you to remember the rules when it comes to him" I'm thinking if he only knew all those rules we already broke, but no one knows not even Rae and it's killing me not to tell her. We head to my room and I start ransack my closet I've knocked out everything to wear easy except what to wear to the concert, Rae booted me outta the way and went into my closet "how about this?" "Omg I forgot I bought that that shit is hot it's perfect!" She pulled out a white lace shirt with black leather pants with some black heels "Rae it's perfect ""hold up a minute I have something perfect to go with it" She rummaged through her bags and pulled out her jewelry case " what that"" only that rhinestone belly chain you love so much" thanks boo""anytime " I sat there for a second and figured now now is the time I tell her about me and Joey. " hey chick""yea"" I kinda got something to tell you""ok what's up""well you know the night of my birthday when dad got me the car and Joe and I left and didn't come back til the morning ""yeah" "well something happened ""what""well""Lee""he took me to the hotel commonwealth and he had a suite when we got up there he had music going he had Mark go up 15 minutes before us and light like 100 candles, we danced he gave me my necklace and well""and" "we did it" "OH MY GOD YOU HAD SEX WITH JOEY!"" Shhh ""you want my dad to hear omg""oh my god are you serious "" yes"" well how was it?"" Absolutely perfect "" aww boo that's so sweet" " that's why he flipped like he did when we got back"" so was that the only time ""well no""whatcha mean"" the night before he left for tour he snuck through my window and it was so romantic and we fell asleep in each others arms. So after breaking it down and just girl talk we changed into PJs and crashed out on the couch with pizza and TV. We must have crashed pretty fast because when I woke up I hear on the TV"and the number one song in the country is New Kids on the Block Please don't go girl " HOLY SHIT!!!" I scream " Rae Rae Raeanne get up oh my god look"" mhmmm what""girl look" she looks over to the TV jumps up" oh my god, it's the Boys"" their number one my Joey is number one!" Tear streaming down " he did Rae he did it!!" Little did I know seeing that that night would lead to a world of hurt, broken promise, and pain.
We loaded up into my dads car and he drove us to the airport no one knew we were coming not even Kay. We touched down in New York at 8:30 that night and headed to Aunt Nadine's to relax in anticipation for the next night.
The next morning I was so nervous we spent the morning getting our hair and nails done and some shopping I had to pick up something from Victoria Secret for that night. We started getting ready at 4 that afternoon so we could make it to the venue in time. I of course was the last one done and with me finishing we headed out " god Rae why am I so nervous ""dunno it's just Joey"" yeah but this is a totally different thing he is not like my Joey Joe all of a sudden he is Joey McIntyre singer in this huge band""come on all that you know doesn't matter to him when it comes to you"" I guess your right I just can't wait I'm miss him so much"" I know you do Lee."" We pulled into the arena and pushed our way through the crowd to find out seats. As always they were so amazing on stage all I had to do is make sure none of them saw us. It was 11 when the concert ended and they left to backstage. As we pushed our way through the sea of girls and stage crew we ran into Biscuit one of the boys security " Lee" Biscuit hi" as he picks me up in a huge hug " what are you doing here?""surprising Joey, do you know where he is?""not at the moment but Donnie and Jordan are over there in the corner with Vic they probably know.""awesome thanks Biscuit"" no problem lil mama." We walked up and tapped Donnie on the shoulder I nudge Rae "watch this" as I let out a lil giggle and in my best valley girl impression I say " oh my god it's Donnie Donnie can I have a selfie please" as he turns Both Rae and I burst out laughing " Leesa hey, Rae hi what you two doing here?" And he puts his arm around us pissed off about 30 girls in the process. " where is Joey Donnie? ""Last I knew in his dressing room""great I'm going to surprise him" I hug Donnie and head over as I raise my hand to knock I hear a girl giggle inside and say " oh come on Joe it will be fun no one has to know" I throw the door open to see a girl around my age with long black ponytail and a barely there skirt rubbing on Joey. My heart dropped right there and shattered "Joey oh my god!" "Lisa " He shoves her away but I turn to run and he grabs my wrist " Lisa wait it's not what you think" tears are flowing from my eyes "Joe how could you?!" I pull my arm and run " Danny stop her please" he screams from down the hall. Danny Catches up with me as I am almost out the door "Lisa wait what happened" " Leave me alone" I push away and jump in my car and speed out of the parking ramp. As I'm driving all I hear is
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all or are we just friends
coming from the stereo and my phone blowing up as visions of what I just walked into play in my head. I drove for hours til I finally parked at the irondequoit bay and just sat and cried my heart was broken by the only person who literally ment everything to me. I finally head back to my aunts a while later. I walk in to find Jon sitting on the couch with Raeanne they see me and Jon stands nothing was said he just walks over and wraps his arms around me as my legs give out and I break down. They both spent the entire night that night with me just trying to comfort me but there was no comforting I was broke and I felt like I never would be whole again. At some I must of cried myself to sleep because I woke up to find myself laying with Jon and Rae asleep next to me. I look over at my phone to see 76 texts and like 50 voicemails. I get up carefully trying to not wake them since they were up all night with me and take a shower. I let the water fall and I become undone and just sob on the shower floor til I couldn't anymore. When I was in the shower Jon must of woke up because everyone was there when I got out. I just locked myself back in the room laid on the bed and cried. Shortly later there was a knock on the door I open in to see Jordan standing there with a cup of coffee and a box of tissues " wanna talk sweetie""no leave alone please ""Lee we have to leave soon we have a show in Brooklyn tonight""then go""you don't mean that, please if you don't want to talk to him or see him fine I'll respect that but please talk to me""I don't wanna talk please leave me alone""ok I'm not going to push you" he gave me a hug and headed downstairs. Just then there was a small tap " baby please open up" and my heart crumbled again at the sound of his voice. " LeeLee please open talk to me, it's not what you think please!" You can hear the mixture of tears and desperation in his voice. " please open we have to go, baby please" I wanted to but I was hurt, broken, devistated. " well we have to load the bus I love you ." I walked to the window and watched them load up and pull away. I spent the next two days locked alone in the bedroom til we had to fly back home. Joey called and texted all the time I never answered the guys all called me every day but I couldn't talk All I do is cry.