B R O K E N

🥀 C H A P T E R 10 🥀

They Don't See What Hurts You Until It Kills You.

Nova Williams P O V
"Hang with killers, put a price on your head, Yeah, leave you dead Yeah. I be shining infared yeah, Tripp's Redd Yeah. Get the hell out my place if you ain't got my bread yeah." I rap laying in bed with my journal in hand. Tomorrow was Friday then it would be the weekend, I was so ready for it. My weekends consisted of laying in bed, eating, and watching Netflix.

I never usually had anyone come over, never talked to anyone- Well Dejha on occasions. We're not on speaking terms right now, ion know if she felt that what she said was wrong, but it was.

You don't go around saying that shit to people like me, how dumb can you get? That shit could trigger someone and really make them end it all. Shit, she's lucky I didn't actually do it.

What's holding me back from killing myself? I don't know. I mean I could just do it, Who would care if I was really gone....the people I know don't even care about me right now. So what if I did really end it all? No one would feel any difference when I'm gone.

I had came from Ol' dudes a few hours ago and now I'm just at home, doing nothing. As always. I wanted to do something though, maybe go on a walk, get some food, something that depend require me to be in this house or with people.

I close my journal and disconnect my phone from the speakers before grabbing a hoodie and throwing it over my head, I then grab my Vans and slide them on as well.

Lastly, I grab my lanyard and phone then walk out the room. Wait- no. Actually I went back upstairs, went into my special hiding place and grabbed some weed and a blunt. They can't get mad at me for smoking weed outside their house.

I shove both items in the front pocket of my hoodie, along with a lighter, before walking down the steps, to my luck it was only my uncle down here. Everyone else was sleep.

"Where are you going?" He questions directing his attention to me instead of the TV.

"I'm going on a walk." I simply state walking towards the front door.

I didn't hear him say anything else so I shrugged my shoulders and walked outside, shutting the door behind me.

Fresh Air

I breathe the fresh air in, letting it relax me. Then I began to walk, I don't know where I was going, but I let my feet take over and not my mind.

I wonder if Dejha felt any type of regret, knowing her she probably doesn't. She was the type of person who didn't regularly say sorry, she could be 100% wrong and still not say sorry.

I personally don't have a reason to apologize; I mean what did I say to hurt her feelings? That she lived a perfect life? That's a compliment in my opinion.

I've also noticed that she's been hanging with Taye and them, I personally don't care because she's entitled to hang with whoever she wants. But what I do care about is their words getting into her head; just like yesterday. She let India's words get into her head and ended up getting in a verbal altercation with me.

If she's gonna start taking the nonsense they say to her head then I guess that should tell me something. I'm not gone lie and say she wasn't there for me when I first went into this stage of mind....but if she thinks I've just been joking this whole time, then I don't know what to tell her.