Our Sick Inheritance (editing)

Ch 77 (jake)- Too Strong To Be Paranoid?

There were a few cars he'd been driving around for a while that weren't suspicious so Jake continued on towards Brittany's house. He just needed space to figure things out and what he was going to tell Brittany. He probably shouldn't tell her anything, Jake thought. It wasn't like they were a couple in writing right now and weren't going to be until after they graduated their colleges. That was only so there wouldn't be pressure for either of them and they would have a clear view of what they wanted for their future. So far they had been strong in their longing for each other but according to his sister Stacy, Brittany may not be as devoted to Jake as he felt he was to her. Last night he didn't feel was his fault especially since he couldn't remember what happened.

He didn't think Brittany had sex with anyone because she would tell him, wouldn't she? Jake wondered. Would she be upset if she found out Jake had slept with someone? Would she brush it off, and if she did wouldn't that mean she was guilty of doing the same thing but was going to keep it to herself forever reason. Would it have been a mistake, a onetime thing, or something she was going to keep if they didn't work out? Was she seeing someone else and she hadn't let him down yet? What was she doing behind his back and was it really behind his back if they were both considered single?

He decided he had to eventually tell Brittany what happened. Jake was embarrassed but keeping it from her would be worse as they never hide anything from each other. Besides she would be able to see his guilt immediately as well as the evidence, Jake thought as he glanced at his wrist.

Jake couldn't handle the thought that someone else knew how it felt to be between his Brittany's legs. He pictured it and almost ran his truck off the road. The anger that rushed through his system brought him fully awake and he was no longer paying attention to the dull headache that lingered. Guilt again filled his system. How could he react this way when he was whoring it up with a girl he barely knew? But it wasn't his fault, he argued in his head again. Does that count? Of course it does, Jake answered his thoughts.

The couple of years Jake had gone through without Brittany were enough to make him emotionally sensitive with fragile nerves. He felt he had aged ten years out of the last three. As a college student, he felt it was required of him to have a good time and do things with people he wouldn't normally do any other time in his life. It didn't turn out that way as his desires for Brittany wouldn't disappear and his need for her directed his decision to behave himself until they could be together again. Jake had hoped and pretended she felt the same. Three years could change a person. She could be doing the things he was avoiding. Jake shook the doubts from his mind. He believed her when she said she was focused on her studies and didn't care about going out with friends to get drunk or high. That is what he loved about her. They were always on the same page and had the same goals without pretending or lying. Guilt made him cringe at his reflection in the mirror.

Lying wasn't the same as hiding an important embarrassing secret. Brittany was his best friend, but his promise to his parents to keep details of Jolene's case was more important, until now. Jake had to know if she would forgive him and understand. He'd find out everything he needed to know when he told her his secret on this trip. If she could handle that, then he knew she could handle anything and their future would be set the way he'd always planned for. He just wanted to be set on a steady path before he could carry anyone in his arms. Time felt like it was stretching on much too long, regardless of the things he needed to accomplish to graduate. After all, they waited this long for each other, what was one more year. That is if she still wanted the same things he did after he confided in her. Beside their families loved each other. Stacy and Brittany were almost best friends.

"You should really call your sister." Jake heard.

"I know. I will when I pull over for a minute." Jake said out loud then smelled a stench that raped his nostrils. Realizing he wasn't talking to himself, as the voice came from next to him. Jake turned to look at his passenger seat. Sitting erect was an older version of Stacy. She turned to look at him with her stringy hair and silver eyes from death. He watched as her white bloodless face turned into a horrific scowl and screamed,

"Now!"

Jake's heart jumped into his throat and he swerved all over the road, barely missing just two cars. He was able to pull over onto the gravel side of the freeway. He looked at the passenger seat to find himself alone once again. One of the cars he almost hit pulled over in front of him and stopped. A man rushed to Jake's open window.

"Is everything OK son?" The man asked.

"I don't know what happened but I think I might have almost hit a dog." Jake lied saying the first thing that popped into his head.

"It's those jackrabbits. They sure can get as big as a dog. Well I don't see it. Maybe it was the jackrabbit's lucky day. You be careful and stay awake." The man warned.

"Thank you, sir." Jake said and waved as the man walked away. Jake sat there for a minute as he watched the man pull onto the road and drive away.

Was he starting to suffer from delusions, hallucinations, and bizarre behavior from the loss of contact with reality? He took a deep breath.

Jake placed a call to Stacy. She wasn't picking up her phone. He drove off into the next town which was only two miles further and parked into a group of stores parking lot. He kept an eye on who was driving in and out of the lot. Jake felt guilty about not calling his dad and wasn't sure he wanted to know anything else about Anna. He was too embarrassed to tell his father anything about last night.

Jake took more aspirin to get rid of the edginess of the small lingering headache that remained before he dialed his dad's number. As the phone rang, Jake's heart started racing at seeing a blue car park but nobody got out. The phone went to voicemail and he hung up. He immediately left to get back on the road for all he wanted right now was Brittany in his arms.

Jake turned his phone off and missed Kyle calling him back.