Our Sick Inheritance (editing)

Ch 76 (colin) - Time To Go Tessa

Colin woke from a delusional nightmare he couldn't remember but would bet they were psychological flashbacks from the pills he took combined with his memory of Tessa slapping little Anna before he fell asleep. Feeling a little disoriented he remained still and listened to the light voices in the room until he realized they were coming from his television. He looked at the clock sitting on his side table that told him he had slept for a several hours. Light poured in his bedroom window from the reflection of the snow. It seemed like this day was going to last forever which was fine because he wasn't looking forward to tonight.

It was light outside but snow was falling harder than the day before. Colin flicked to the weather channel and found out they were due to have eight more inches by nightfall. Even though the sun lit most of the day the storms were heading in and started to clog the streets. The news reporter was giving a message warning everyone to stay indoors to avoid accidents. Colin was cozy but knew he had a lot to do and wasn't looking forward to digging the snow out of the grave that he had dug before his nap. He wasn't expecting anyone and felt stranded in his own world, it was glorious. It was as exhilarating as being at his Idaho cabin but much nicer.

Colin sat up and felt good with just a residue of tiredness lingering. As he moved his muscles felt warm and stronger than before his nap and it was great. He took one of the pills that gave him energy then headed downstairs to mix a drink. He knew he wasn't supposed to mix alcohol and his pills but since he was alone he didn't see the harm as it was mostly going to be the only chance he had to himself. Downing half of the glass he carried his drink to his breakfast nook and warmed up a light meal to fill his stomach so the alcohol didn't affect him as fast.

The scenery of the garden and valley looked the same, covered in thick white frosting dense snow outlining shapes of nature and structure. He turned the TV on to the news in case they discovered anything else about Jolene. So far it seemed they didn't have anything new and the storm causing ruckus were the dominant stories that controlled each channel. Once Colin washed his dishes he carried the second drink he was nursing around the house to make sure he wasn't leaving something he wanted to take with them to the island. He knew what he was doing was avoiding (destroying) Tessa until he needed to.

Maybe getting her prepared would help create a (feeling) of a final ceremony. In her private room Tessa laid still on her bed. She stared at him but didn't give him more of a smile than she had to. Not deterred by his mood, Colin dressed Tessa in her beautiful white gown. She was so lovely that he was having a hard time wanting to get rid of her. He knew he had to, but it was taking more than what he could handle going through with it. He could leave Tessa in the earth of the property. He just didn't want her ghost to follow Anna or Nate. He could leave her in the room to rot alone, stuck, with nobody to know she is there. She would have what she always wanted which was her own room where she could stare at herself in the mirrors all the time. Colin was trying to feel anger so he could be angry enough to get it over with. The problem was he didn't know if he could make it final. He knew the only way he was going to be able to do it was to think of why he hated her in the first place.

Colin remembered when Anna was just born, and he just held his daughter in his lap. He was so amazed that she was the tiniest thing he had ever held. She was so trusting and fragile. Colin didn't want to let Anna go because he knew it wasn't Tessa that would coddle her to her breasts to feed her but a nurse with a cold bottle. Colin stayed in the room with them every moment they were at the hospital. He fed and held Anna whenever he could as Tessa didn't want to touch her. He was upset by Tessa's reaction but their doctor said sometimes that reaction was normal because of the traumatic experience of birth. Some mothers just had to warm up to being a mother if it didn't come naturally.