Forever Doesn't Last Forever

Forever Doesn't Last Forever 31

Chapter 31

~~~~ things have changed ~~~~

A lot has changed in the past 8 months.

I stopped cutting again. Hayden found out I started self harming again and helped me as much as he could stop, and I've been in 'recovery' I guess for 6 months.

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~~~~ When I Still Was Cutting ~~~~

I would sit in the bathroom, by myself and just cut and cut and cut. Deeper, and deeper. I don't really understand why I couldn't stop, to be honest. I just felt like nothing was stopping me from doing it again. So I started.

I had my miscarriage April 19 when I was 3 months pregnant, and I started cutting exactly 2 months after that.

I tried really hard not to, and to get over my miscarriage and to look forward to my future with Hayden, but I just for some reason couldn't.

When Hayden found me in the bathroom laying in a pool of my own blood, he flipped out. I lost about 13% of blood from my body and was rushed to the hospital.

I hate hospitals, ever since Trinity died and I spent 3 days in the hospital.

I remember the doctor telling Hayden something and it was like my whole world had fallen down.

I knew Hayden was disappointed in me, I was disappointed in myself, I knew he would never admit it though.

"You hate me don't you." I say fighting to hold the tears back.

"Never. I just want to help you get passed this." He said grabbing my hand.

"I thought I could stop."

"I know. You still can."

"How?"

"I'll help you Scottland. Everything is going to be okay."

I sighed.

"Scottland, promise me something?"

"Sure?"

"If you ever have doubts again, will you come talk to me, and at least let me try and help you as much as I can?"

"I promise."

"Thank you. I love you Scottland."

"I love you too."

He kissed me on the head.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It took a couple months, but I went to therapy and that really helped.

Since than for 6 months I've

been totally self harm free, haven't done it or thought about it.

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~~~~ Back to Present Day ~~~~

Anyway, back to what has changed.

Hannah apologized, and I learned a lot about her like her name is really AJ and she has a son, and that's the little boy Dylan is taking care of, and her mom is trying to get custody.

I never knew Hannah or AJ Went through this much.

She told me a lot and it meant so much to me.

Also, Dylan broke up with Adyson and now him and AJ are 'dating' I guess. They're taking it slow.

Since AJ told me so much about her, I told her about me.

She's actually my best friend now.

School is a lot different, she ditched her group of friends, starting wearing clothes she would wear and things are actually great.

Hayden and I have never been closer. We're so good. We've been dating for a year and 4 months in about 3 weeks.

Hayden's dad still tries to come around and we've called the cops twice.

Quinn now knows what's going on, we decided to tell her, but she wants nothing to do with her dad.

We even told him that.

Dylan and Berkley are so great. They're almost like the cutest match ever.

Berkley is now Dylan's everything. That may seem surprising, because it is to me too.

All together, right now, life is good.