Coming Out 101

49

I was 10 when I learned i was bisexual. By learned, I mean I dreamt I kissed a girl in my class (let's nickname her EL). She was the only blonde girl in the class, with hazel eyes. She was Italian and the kiss was by accident somehow in the dream??? Either way though I realized I wouldn't mind dating or loving a girl even though I was attracted to boys. Fast forward two years; now I'm in seventh grade. I illegally make a Tumblr in April to follow my favorite artist at the time. When looking through my new dashboard, I see many terms of genders I've never heard of. I read some, and one sticks out to me, makes me think and analyze my feelings of who I am: bigender. I reblog the post, with the hashtag "i guess i'm bigender". Now, I'm 14 and a half and proudly a double bi, I use he/him and she/her with a preference for he/him and I love wearing ties and bowties and dresses and flannels and I express my gender when I can, as much as I can. My mother knows I'm bisexual because of several failed coming out attempts (first time I came out she laughed at me, and the second time was by accident due to me misunderstanding a question). However, I don't think I want her to know I'm bigender (and therefore trans). It's not exactly anything personal, it's just that she doesn't really know how to understand trans people sometimes and I don't want her misunderstandings to make me dysphoric again (I'm not right now thanks to the science that is men having breasts sometimes and men being able to lactate, as well as a fair share of masculine women and feminine men). I don't want surgery because I love the things between my arms and I don't want to lose them or what's under that (as masculine as I mainly feel, I still also feel feminine). As a result, I'm double bi and I'm proud of myself, my body, and others. Keep yourselves safe, my LGBT+ brothers, sisters, and siblings.