Coming Out 101

5

Well, uhm ... hi, everyone, I guess. To be honest, this feels a bit strange, but after reading a lot of queer-encouraging things lately, I have started to come out more. So, time to spill my story, shall we?

I'm 17, from Germany. I'd probably still be confused about my feelings and shut them down because I'd judge them as wrong or not my own. But they were my own. And not wrong. I'm bisexual and I won't deny that anymore.

But I feel like starting at the beginning, to give you a little more of an explanation, you see?

Well, most of you probably had a crush once in their lives. Not a celebrity crush, but a real one.

I didn't. In my first years of school, basically all the girls fancied this one boy and you know what? Even though I didn't even like him, I eventually gave in to the girls' teasing and lied on having a crush on him too. Back then and through all the years, I never really had a crush and by now, I've never been kissed or been in a relationship. Why am I telling you this? Well, basically because I might have had crushes, just not always on boys. Back then, I wrote it off as a puberty and development thing, something that wouldn't last. Maybe because I never considered all the options I had, because nobody ever really spoke to me about other sexualities. You see, where I live, homosexuals are accepted and many modern people see them as the equals they are, however, as sadly as it is, bisexuality, asexuality, pansexuality, and so on are mostly seen as silly phrases. People don't believe they're real and thus, don't talk about them. So, I might have to correct myself, I probably had several small crushes, but just always saw them as friends, not as possible girlfriends. However, looking back a few years, I now realise that I've been attracted to women in movie or videos and such. To be honest, it's not been long for me to finally label myself as bisexual, but it feels good. It feels great to finally welcome my feelings and imagine myself with a beautiful wife in the future.

So, as time went by, I started to think about things and began to ask myself questions. Could I think of kissing and having sex with a woman too? Could I imagine being in a relationship and marrying a woman just like a man? Yes. My answer is yes to both.

So, eventually, I started to label myself as bisexual and now I have fully accepted it and am proud of it. And with proud I mean, I am who I am and I love who I am.

Now, it came to my parents. You see, my family is quite conservative and strict, but still, I tend to be close to my parents and tell them a lot. A major problem is probably, that they still see me as a silly toddler. So, when I told them and came out to them with all my courage, they ... well .. didn't take it seriously. I think, if I had a wife and all, they would support me, really, but now, they always roll their eyes when I speak about it or get angry because I'm supposed to stop that 'phase'. My sister isn't much better. I do love her bits, don't worry, but she once said she thinks bisexual people are weird and supposed to pick one side because you can't love both, so ... no coming out to her yet. Same goes for the rest of my family, I'm pretty afraid to tell them.

So, everyone out there who isn't cis or hetero and struggles with their sexualitites, genders or just needs a little encouragement, be proud of who you are and do what you want, if labeling yourself makes you happy, then do it, if it doesn't, then don't. Its your body and your sexuality, dont let people pressure you into doing anything, allow your feelings to exist, take as much time as you need. Thanks for sharing my story.