Sparks Fly

chapter 27 - I don't know

Harry's P.O.V

I ran another hand through my hair and groaned. I slept horribly. I kept tossing and turning. I would wake up and sit and just mentally yell at myself. I can't believe I blew up like that. I was just getting so upset because it felt like he didn't care to help me with something I care about... I called into that hotline a lot when I was really young an they helped me. And being so happy with Louis makes me know there could be a kid out there confused about their sexuality and or who they want to be as a person and that could be stopping them from other things in life. That to me is important and beneficial to the world. But I should have stopped to listen to him more. He kept telling me why he couldn't do it with good reasons I'm sure but... all I kept hearing was no and I was mad he wasn't trying to figure out something.

I need to apologize to him but I'm almost scared to confront him. I mean.. I said he wasn't who i thought he was. Hell I acted like a child. I got mad over something I couldn't have. I never get like that usually why did I act like that? I can't even understand that I did that. I need to talk to him, I can't mess up something that has been going so damn good. I mean every couple has a first fight but I don't think most say what I said. 7 months of bliss and I do this, right before Valentines day too.

The entire car ride to Louis I was fiddling with my ring and trying to think of where to even begin. I didn't even know if he was home because I didn't want to call fist and risk him telling me to stay away. The car pulled up but I saw Louis car wasn't here and I sighed. I told my driver to go to Louis work place. I have to apologize to him. When we pulled up I walked inside and he front lady Margo wave at me and I smiled softly waving. People here knew who I was to Louis so I wasn't stopped usually. I tapped my foot in the short elevator ride and took a breathe before stepping off and onto his floor. I walked to the end of the hall and turned seeing Bebe. "Hi Bebe" I said smiling softly, I wonder if everyone knew we fought... or even worse heard it. "Hi harry, here to see Louis?" she said with a sweet smile. I nodded and she hit a little buzzer before gesturing me to go ahead. I took another deep breathe before I knocked gently. "Come in" his sweet voice said. I walked in slowly and shut the door before looking at him, he had papers in his hands and set them down "Harry.. what are you doing here.. I have work to do" he said as he looked away. I sighed and walked over "Louis please let me say something". He crossed his arms and nodded "okay go ahead" where did I even start? "I'm sorry" I said biting my lip. Really Harry you practiced for an hour to just say you're sorry? "I just... I'm sorry for blowing up at you when you didn't deserve it. I understand that you can't just make a charity over night and I should have sat back and-and actually heard you. all I heard was no and I turned into a wimp arse..." he still wasn't saying anything. "I just really felt strongly about it an I felt like as my boyfriend you should have too but I didn't think about the boss Louis who can't just do it suddenly" "so do you know me again?" he said finally speaking up. I didn't know what to say "am I back to being the person you thought I was then?" he said again and I looked down then back in his eyes "Louis I didn't mean that.. I was just so mad" he looked away "I don't know why I feel like I shouldn't just accept your apology like that... but I will say sorry too... I did let my temper get the better of me and I said some rude things too." I smiled softly "don't apologize... I started it and egged it on" he sighed "Harry I just really need to work.." "Louis please... I am so sorry. I would never hurt you... you have to know how sorry I am". There was a minute of silence before he let out a sigh and walked around his desk to me. I bit my lip not knowing if he would slap me or hug me and he looked up at me "just... tell me what you have planned for valentines day tonight over dinner okay? I need to get work done" I smiled softly "okay I'll come over at 6" he nodded "great". I wanted to ask for a kiss but I better not push it. "Hey H" he said as I was leaving "yeah", I paused to look at him "I love you.." I grinned widely "I love you more..".

Louis P.O.V

I sighed and looked at the clock again. Why didn't this feel right? what was off abut this? is this how it's supposed to go? do couples fight and then makeup? am I supposed to be mad longer? I haven't had a serious relationship.... oh my god. Harry is my first adult relationship. Yeah I dated in high school but I wasn't even sure if I wanted a girl in high school. I huffed... I am so lost. I heard a knock and took a deep breathe before opening the door "hey" I smiled a soft smile "hi" "for you.." Harry said holding up a small bouquet of roses. I smiled halfheartedly and grabbed them "thank you". I shut the door and we went to the kitchen and grabbed a vase "so... did you want to order in for dinner?" he asked. I shrugged "okay" "or we could cook" I started filling it up with water "okay.." "Louis what is going on?" he asked as I turned around. I sighed and set the vase on the counter and put the flowers in one by one "what do you mean?" "Louis we had a fight okay... and then I don't know if you accepted my apology but you told me to come over... I don't know what-" "Well I don't know!" I said slamming the last rose in. He seemed taken back by my sudden outburst. "should I just forgive?...am I supposed to just drop it and move on or be mad at you for what happened?" I asked genuinely confused and upset. "Louis what are you talking about?" he said moving so we were both face to face on one side of the counter "Harry I have no idea what I'm doing... this is all new to me... I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. You embarrassed me in my work place... co-workers could hear shouting... you hurt my feelings over. God I am still trying to get over what! and then I'm supposed to just get over it?! what kind of shit is that?". I shook my head "I have never had this before Harry... I haven't been with someone that I want..... that I want to keep being with for-for a long long time alright? but I don't know OKAY I DON'T KNOW!".

There was a minute of quiet. I had my face in my hands and I was sitting on my kitchen floor. I didn't know what the hell to do. I heard movement and felt someone move my hands. I looked up to see Harry on the floor with me now and he sighed "Louis... be mad at me okay? call me names if you want. throw something at me. ignore me. I don't care but just know that I'm sorry and I love you... we had a fight. yes I caused it. yes I am sorry I am such a fool... and I'm new to this too. I haven't had what we have yet. this is new... I'm trying to use what I know but it's very limited" he said with a small chuckle. "Look... I wont pretend like I'm perfect... I try to be kind and I try to be me but sometimes I lose it and then I snap right back... I was acting like a child and I wish I could take it back but I can't so all I can do is learn from it" I just stared at him and he touched my cheek gently "we are learning this together.. we are doing this together. you think I'm going to be an idiot and then just let you and Beau slip away, no. I will take the dog house and then come inside with my tail between my legs and beg for your forgiveness" he said smiling and I laughed "that was a stupid analogy" he pushed a piece of hair from my eyes "well it made you smile so I'm glad I said it". I let out a sigh "okay." he looked at me "okay what". I rolled my eyes "okay tell me what you're going to do on valentines day to make it up to me you twit" he laughed and I chuckled "hopefully something to knock you and your sass on your big arse" I snorted and he leaned in kissing me. "Harry were still on the kitchen floor" I mumbled against his lips "perfect" he said laying me down and kissing me making me chuckle. "you're still in the dog house" I mumbled again as he hovered over me "well woof".