Sparks Fly

chapter 10 - even as young

Louis P.O.V

I didn't even realize what I did until I did it. I just... wanted to kiss him so badly. I don't know what made me do it but I'm glad I did. because it was something I've never felt before. And no I'm not saying it's some cliche bullshit where I say that I've never felt a spark with someone before because I have. I was younger and it may not have been the most real thing but it's been there. This was just... new. It was different. My body felt like it woke up the second I met him and now my body felt like it was floating. "stay" slipped out of my lips. I bit my lip lowering down off my tippy toes. I didn't mean stay as in stay so we can have sex... I meant say as in I wanted his company and I wanted him here.

He just nodded slowly an we both sat back on the couch our eyes locking, no sex didn't mean I couldn't kiss him though.I straddled him in one swift motion and he looked up at me and I said softly "is this okay" he nodded and said "yeah" a little breathlessly. It almost  felt almost like we were back in high school and were making out on our couch late one night when my parents weren't home. He put his hand under my chin and gripped it gently with his thumb and pointer finger. He slowly pulled me in and reconnected our lips and I let my eyes close as I melted into the soft kiss. It wasn't like a kiss where people just want to fuck and then they're done It was more than that... it was soft, sweet.. and slow. We kissed for- damn who knows how long. But when we finally opened our eyes and pulled away his lips were bright pink. He chuckle softly and gently touched my bottom lip with his thumb "your lips are more red than usual.." he said with his voice a bit more raspy. I shrugged as I chuckled "wonder what from..". 

We went up to my room and just talked some more. He told me about what his career meant to him and the pros and cons of it. I told him more about my work and Beau, he asked about how I got Beau. I was laying on my back sideways on my bed and he was sitting against the head board on the left side of the bed. I sighed "I was 18..  at college and one drunken night led to me getting a call two weeks later from a girl I ended up sleeping with, she was pregnant.. I didn't trust the baby was mine at first so we went to he doctors and got a test done. It was mine.. at first I was really scared. I called my mum crying... I mean I was already confused about enough now there was a baby being thrown into it" Harry stayed quiet. I sighed "her name was jasmine, she was against abortion so she said she would have the baby and then put him or her up for adoption and then disappear forever, she said she wouldn't even want the baby to know her name. But... even as young as I was I couldn't bear the thought of having a child out there... my child and not being the one to raise him or her. I knew I wanted kids. I talked to my mum.. my best mates... and I finally told her I would take full custody of the baby, and I'm glad I did. Beau was the best thing that ever happened to me. She made me smarter and want to be a better person. Yes I always wanted to be a good person but she really was an everyday reminder of who I wanted to be for her and for myself. I finished college, a single dad and working two jobs.. It was really hard I wont lie. but I had a goal for myself and for her. I wanted to make sure I could give her an amazing life. make sure she never had to go hungry or without clothes. Jasmine left, she switched schools somewhere.. I have no clue where. and I haven't seen or heard from her since. and I never want to if I'm honest." I paused before I continued "when Beau was really little.. about 3 she loved having her picture taken, hell she was born the happiest and most out going baby ever" I said chuckling softly and getting a soft laugh from Harry. So i would treat her to go have pictures taken every year for holidays and her birthday... eventually the studio I took her too said I should get her into modeling. I found a couple managers but they were just out to scam people... then Niall came along and he fell in love with Beau. said she was born a star.". Harry chuckled making me smile "I was really confused about my sexuality during the time I was going around partying... I was confused on what I wanted and what I was supposed to want. But after everything that happened I realized that it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't drunk off my ass. But everything happens for a reason... it helped me figure my life out and blessed me with Beau... and in the long run.. you" I closed my eyes letting out a breathe I didn't realize I was keeping in. I haven't talked about that in a long time. I heard some movement then suddenly Harry was laying on his side almost and hovering over me so I was almost looking up at him "you're incredibly brave you know?" he said softly "I am?" I asked my blue eyes staring into his green ones. "yes you are.. not very many people would have made the choice you did and taken it seriously... you put everything aside and made sure that whatever you did it was the better choice for not just you but Beau... and you know who you are" I smiled softly "thank you Harry" he chuckled softly "not that I need to be thanked.. but you're more than welcome. everyone deserves to hear the honest truth yeah?". I laughed softly and he leaned down connecting our lips.. it almost felt like a spider man kiss since he was upside down to me. But it didn't effect anything.. it was just as slow and sweet. our tongues softly grazed against each other and he gently bit my bottom lip making me pretty much fucking die a little more. 

After a while he pulled away and said softly "so I have to ask you something" I nodded still looking at him upside down. how is he still incredibly good looking from this angle? "it's about us... what do you want from this.. " I readjusted a bit and let out a soft breathe "I want us to be careful". He tilted his head "what do you mean" I bit my lip and sat up making sure we didn't hit heads. I sat up so I was next to him and facing him "I mean.. Beau. this isn't just about me... I really like you Harry. I fell for you really fast which is scary because... of who you are" He furrowed his brows. I held up a hand signaling to let me continue"I mean you're Harry Styles... you go on tours every year, red carpets, you're interviewed and on radios and at events... and I would never expect or ask you to just put me and her ahead of your life and career... I can't sit here and expect you to say that you want to Marry me and co-parent Beau that's too fast and I can't scare you and I can't confuse Beau... so what I want is to be careful Harry... I wan't to know what this means to you...". He nodded and paused before saying "I can't say that will be here everyday..." he slid his hand to mine and held it up to his lips and kissed my knuckles softly "but I can say that I wouldn't be any one else's except yours... I can tell you that Beau is talented and will going to premiers with me.. and so will you. I can tell you that I wouldn't ask you to give up your life to run away and be apart of mine.. however I would ask that we combine them... see how we work.. see how this will flow. I can tell you that the past month has been amazing.. and that I adore Beau. and that I was utterly hypnotized the moment you walked in.." I felt my eyes well up "I can tell you that I don't know what will happen but whatever happens I'm not in this to play I'm here because I feel something very real".  I clenched and unclenched my jaw to keep from crying, I looked at him "wow" was all I could practically whisper. "I don't want us to be silly and rush into things and confuse everyone.. But lets just get to know each other more.. let's let Beau get to know us and me... all of us will figure out what's gonna happen with this together". I smiled a soft smile and he smiled "is that okay?" I nodded "okay?" he said again and I let out a soft laugh "okay". He and I smiled at each other and I just looked at him... we shut off the lights and finally laid in bed at almost 5 in the damn morning. I had my head on his chest as we cuddled and I felt the tiredness taking over "where have you been all this time" I said as I was drifting off.

Harry's P.O.V

I opened my eyes and smiled softly to myself "..waiting for you Louis..".