The Legend - A Gilmore Girls Fan Fiction

Chapter 76

The next morning, I woke up in the apartment, alone.  The reality of that hit me like a ton of bricks.  I groaned and tried to roll over to sleep off that feeling, but sleep wouldn't come.  I'd barely gotten any at all.  My mind wouldn't turn off last night, and so I didn't actually get to sleep until about an hour before my eyes reopened in the morning light.

Begrudgingly, I got up out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.  As I was washing my hands, I noticed that Finn's hair products, cologne, toothbrush and toothpaste were all gone.  "What?  How?  I hardly slept, there's no way he came in at the exact moment I was out..." I thought to myself.

I quickly looked around the apartment for other signs of him being there.  Some of his clothes from the closet were gone, some of his shoes – gone.  I went into his office - his briefcase, his laptop bag, the paperwork he'd been working on, all of it was gone.  I sank to the floor and sobbed into my hands.  I felt absolutely gutted.  I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't control my reaction to any of it.  Why was he doing this to me – to us!?  I didn't understand!  Poppy hadn't heard from him the last time I checked, and it just hurt so much.

My phone rang from the other room and I scrambled to my feet, rushing into the bedroom, trying to catch it in time in case it was Finn.  It wasn't.  It was my mom, and I just didn't feel like telling her what was going on right now, so I just let it go to voicemail.  I turned around and flung backwards onto the bed and just stared up at the ceiling.  "What if it's over?" I whispered to myself, allowing the hurt, and the pain, and the tears to all consume me once more.

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Finn's POV

"I've got to get out of here" I mumbled to myself, getting up out of the bed, putting my jeans and my shirt on, and rushing around.  I was trying to get out of there, to avoid the awkward conversation, but I could hear footsteps approaching quicker than I was being at the moment.  "Shit" I whispered, hanging my head back, waiting for the inevitable.

The doorknob opened and I knew I wasn't getting out of there without a long, drawn out scene.  Frustrated, I turned towards the door as it opened.  "Are you leaving already?"

"Yes, Poppy, I can't stay here.  I need to clear my head, and you clearly have a biased opinion.  Thank you for letting me stay here last night and offering your thoughts on the situation, but I have a lot to think about.  Thank you for not telling her I was here" I told her.

"I promised you I wouldn't, although I shouldn't have listened.  You need to talk to her, Finn.  The longer you wait, the more of a chance you have of losing her, and I know that's not what you want" she said.

"Don't worry about me, honey.  I'm a Legend" I said arrogantly.  I immediately mentally kicked my own ass for that comment, and was ready for the sparks to fly from her.

"She's not like the others, Finn.  She might actually wake up and realize she's too good for you.  She might decide that it's not worth it, since you're acting like such an idiot.  She might think it's not worth the heartache – the heartache that you're causing her.  Unnecessarily.  There's no reason for any of this, other than your own asinine agenda" she said.

I sighed.  Truth is, I was worried about those things, too.  Of course she's too good for me!  Of course she would wake up and realize it was fun while it lasted, but that it was time to move on.  Not that that's what I wanted, but no matter how good I think I'm getting at this whole boyfriend thing, I keep screwing it up.  When I thought I was doing the right thing by taking care of her, I made her feel like a failure.  She's not a failure.  She's the most incredible woman in the whole freaking world, but I can't be who she wants me to be – who she needs me to be.  I wasn't brought up to let a girl be independent – I mean, sure, she's her own person and should have her own life and her own stuff outside of things she and I do together, but I grew up in a household where everyone depended on each other.  It wasn't all about mum, or all about dad, or Poppy, or me – it was about all 4 of us as a whole, all the time.  That's how I thought relationships were supposed to be, and that's all I've ever tried to do for Rory, Emma and I – because they are my family...  or...  well...  at least they were...

"Finn!  You're making a huge mistake.  I hope you know what you're risking..." she said, and then she turned around and walked right back out the bedroom door.

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Rory's POV

I stared down at the napkin with the phone number written on it that belonged to 'Marc', my random coffee acquaintance from the park.  For some reason, even after hearing my train wreck of a sob story about everything that's been happening between Finn and me, he still asked me for my phone number.  I declined, and he backed off, but he gave me his number instead, just in case I would happen to change my mind.

But I didn't change my mind.  I don't know why I didn't throw it away, but something was compelling me to keep it.  In a strange sort of way it made me feel a little better, knowing I had options.  But I didn't want options, I just wanted Finn back.

I tossed the napkin down on the nightstand and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator, looking inside for the millionth time, and closed it again just like each time before that.  There was nothing to eat.  Yesterday was the day we normally go grocery shopping together, but that clearly didn't happen.   My phone rang and it was Poppy.  She promised she'd call if she wound up hearing from Finn.  I crossed the room and answered it quickly.  She told me he was there, that he'd spent the night, but that he had asked her not to tell me until after he left, and that she honestly had no idea where he was planning to go to next.  Obviously he wasn't planning on coming back home anytime soon, and I was starting to get a little ticked off that he was playing these games.  He was avoiding me like he used to do to all of his whores back in the day when he was done with them – wait – does that mean he's done with me!?