The Legend - A Gilmore Girls Fan Fiction

Chapter 82

There was a knock on the apartment door and I knew immediately who was on the other side. I walked over and drew in a deep, shaky breath before I unlatched the lock and let him inside.

"Where is she?" He asked immediately after stepping into the entryway.

"She's in her new room, sulking, and hating me" I muttered.  

He looked at me apologetically, but then made his way down the hallway, finding her with the door to her room wide open.   I followed behind him and watched him chuckle silently when he saw that she was laying on the floor with her butt against the frame and her legs up on the wall, like an 'L'.

"What on earth are you doing, you silly girl?" He asked in amusement.

"Uncle Finn!" She exclaimed, scrambling to get up and run to him.

"Hey, Princess!   I've missed you!" He said, wrapping her up into a big bear hug. "Now what's this I hear about you not wanting to move?" He asked.

"I want to stay at your house, Uncle Finn! I don't like it here. I miss you, and my room, and I just don't want to live here.   I want to go live with you again, please Uncle Finn!?" She begged.

"Look, Love, sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do in life, even if that means moving to a place you don't like. Your mum did a great job picking this place out for you both, I really like it!   It suits you both" he said.

"Then you can come live here with us!" She insisted.

He shook his head and sighed.   "I'm afraid that's not going to be able to happen, Em. You see, you and your mum were only staying with me at my place until you two were able to get another place of your own, and your mum found a way to do just that, so you don't need my place anymore, because you have your own" he said, you could hear it in his voice how hard this was for him to admit.

"Why don't you like us anymore, Uncle Finn?" She whispered, looking up at him with pleading eyes and her bottom lip quivering.

"What!? Who told you I don't like you anymore?" He asked in surprise.

"No one did, but I can just tell. You and mommy don't like each other anymore and that's why we don't live there, isn't it?" She asked point blank.

I leaned against the wall outside her door and closed my eyes, trying to will away the pain in my little girl's heart. Of course she picked up on it.   Why wouldn't the most perceptive little girl in the world pick up on something so major?

"Emma, I think you and I need to talk, and it's a really big, important talk.   Come here, sweetheart" he said, sitting down on her bed and pulling her into his lap.   "I want you to listen to me right now - I will always like you.   No matter what you do, how old you get, or what happens between your mum and I - I will always like you. I love you so much, Em, and in so many ways I see you as if you're my own little girl, but the truth is, you're not mine, honey. And as much as I wish you could stay with me, that's just not what can happen. I messed up, sweetheart, and it's my fault you can't stay with me anymore, it's not your mum's. Being mad at her is only making her more sad about what I did, and we don't want your beautiful mum to be sad anymore, do we? I hate that I caused her so much pain, which has caused you all of this pain, too, and I'm working on trying to fix it - but in the meantime, I need you to be my big girl and take care of your mum for me when I'm not here, okay? She needs you more than ever right now" he said.

Tears slipped silently down my cheek as I listened to his words.   I leaned my head against the wall and looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink them away.   I hated this whole situation so much.

"What did you do?" Emma asked curiously.

I heard him sigh heavily.   Of course she would ask that question, but how on earth was he going to explain it to such a little girl?

"I did a really stupid thing. I jumped to conclusions, I refused to listen, and I didn't explain my the bad feelings I was having, so I ended up letting it all bottle up and explode. Like I said, it's my fault you guys had to move, not your mum's, Little Love, so please stop being so angry with her.   It's me you should be angry with" he whispered.

"I'm not angry with you, Uncle Finn, but... I guess I understand why my mommy is, and that makes me really sad, but I just don't understand why you had to make mommy so sad" she whispered.

"I'm sorry I caused so much trouble, Emma. I wish I could go back in time and change it all, but I can't do that, and I'm so sorry. I don't expect you to understand what happened, especially since I don't even understand why I did many of the things that I did, but just know that I'm really, really sorry, baby girl."

"So do you have to go now, or will mommy let you stay?" she asked.

"Have you had dinner yet? Maybe mommy will let me take you both out for the evening" he said.

"Oh, uh, I - I don't know, Finn... I wish you would've asked me before you brought it up to Emma..." I said disappointedly, knowing now I was trapped into saying yes.

He sighed and closed his eyes, realizing his mistake.   "I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Can we mommy?  Please?   Please can we go?" Emma begged.

I nodded and shrugged. "I guess, yeah" I said, as if I had much of a choice if I wanted to get back on Emma's good side - and I really didn't have a very good reason to say no, other than just feeling super awkward around Finn now that we were virtually starting over.

"Why don't you choose, Love. Anywhere you want to go, your wish is my command" he told me.

**                                   **                                     **

Emma went to bed happily after Finn and I tucked her in together, just like we had done so many times before. He was waiting in the hall for me when I came out of her room - we were standing close enough to each other that I had to break away from my urges to have him hold me in his arms and take it all away - but I wasn't in a place where I could do that. The look of disappointment that crossed his face told me that he was probably having the same feelings, and since I wasn't acting on them, then neither would he.   I just turned nervously and headed towards the living room without a sound.

"I guess I should go then, since Little Love is bound to be out for the night" he said after he'd followed me.

I looked up and nodded.   "Okay, yeah. I'm sure she'll be just fine" I said, trying to hide how badly I wish we could just put this all behind us, but I knew I wouldn't be able to so easily.

"Am I ever going to be able to get you to be comfortable around me again?" he asked sadly.

I shrugged.   "I don't know. I think so...well, at least I hope so... but I don't know how long it's going to take for me to get there. I know I love you, but that's just not enough right now" I told him.