The Legend - A Gilmore Girls Fan Fiction

Chapter 78

"Momma?" Emma asked me, looking concerned as she struggled to get my attention, "Momma, what's wrong?"  She was sitting across from me at the table; we were at her favorite restaurant, but I was zoning out, picking at my food mindlessly and was all in my head instead of being present with her.  I was thinking about Finn, and how everything was just falling apart, and she must've been able to read the sadness on my face like a book.  Damn my perceptive little girl.

I looked into her expectant eyes and sighed.  It was everything I could do not to break down crying right in front of her.  How could I answer that?  What's wrong!?  What's wrong is I have no idea what's wrong...  I took in a deep shaky breath and smiled at the little girl.  "I'm okay, sweetheart.  I'm just thinking about grown up stuff.  How's your cheeseburger?  Is it yummy?" I asked her.

She nodded happily and smiled.  "It's really good, Mommy!" she said, and then she started rambling on with a new topic and I thought we were in the clear until I heard her randomly ask, "Mommy, where's Uncle Finn?"

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After I dropped Emma back off with Logan, I was too upset to go to the big empty apartment by myself, so I made a stop first.

"I'm so sorry to just drop in on you, but I don't know what to do and I didn't have anywhere else to go or anyone else to talk to" I rambled as the door opened in front of me.

Poppy reached out and hugged me tight, and then she pulled me into the apartment.  "I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this, Rory.  I wish I knew what to tell you to do, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to be much help.  But you always have somewhere to go, you can stay here with us if you need to, you know that" she assured me.

"I couldn't possibly put you in the middle like that.  This is your brother" I sobbed.

"Sure, but he's not my 'keeper'.  You haven't done anything wrong.  He told me about the phone number, and I think I know you well enough already to know that nothing's going on with you and that guy" she said.

I nodded and sighed.  "Nothing at all.  I don't know why I went and got coffee with him, I don't know why I kept the napkin.  None of it was to hurt Finn in any way.  I just – I made some bad choices, but so has he!  He's handling this all wrong and I just don't know how to get through to him to make him realize that!  I just want him back so bad, but it just feels like he doesn't want me anymore" I said.

"That's not true, Rory.  He came to the apartment to try and talk with you, to try and make up.  That's progress for him.  I don't mean to keep making excuses for him, because honestly I'm beyond fed up with the way he's handling things, but the truth of the matter is, he's never had to do any of this before.  But I can tell you when he's gotten into fights with me, or his friends, he always disappears.  He falls off the face of the earth to cool off, think about things, and then he comes back with a clear head and tries to work things out.  But he can be really hotheaded until he gets to that point, as you've seen.  But the fact that he came last night to try to fix things, tells me he's not done.  I think he just needs another reset.  He just needs time to cool off again so that he can think clearly again and then he'll realize that there's nothing going on between you and that other guy, and that he was just thinking in the moment and not realistically.  That being said, I've never seen it get to this point before, so that is purely speculation and I have no actual evidence to back that theory up" she said.

I just looked up to the ceiling in frustration, trying to blink back my tears.  I was so tired of crying, I felt like that's all I've done since this all started.  When did I turn into 'this girl'?  I've lived through breakups before, why is this one so much harder than anything I've ever felt before?  Even Logan...  Getting over Logan was a cake walk to how I feel right now.

"He's set to leave for Chicago tomorrow" she whispered.

"Yeah, I know.  He kicked me out.  Said I had to be gone by the time he got back" I whimpered.

She shook her head.  "No, he can't do that.  What about Emma!?" she asked.

I shrugged.  "He doesn't even seem to be thinking about Emma at this point" I whispered, the realization hurting even more than before.

Poppy shook her head.  "I can't believe he's doing this.  I need to call mom and have her talk some sense into him" she said.

I shook my head.  "No, I haven't even told my mom.  Or Logan, for that matter.  The fewer people who know about it right now, the better" I whispered.

"Are you sure?  Cause I'm pretty sure my mom could get through to him" she said.

"I'm sure.  Look, I think I'm just going to go.  I guess I've got some packing to do" I whispered.

She looked at me painfully, but knowing that nothing she could do or say would change anything.

"Goodbye, Poppy" I whispered, and walked back out the door, closing it behind me.

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Finn's POV

"Are you getting antsy about traveling tomorrow, sir?" my secretary, Brooke, asked me.

"Huh?" I asked, breaking from my thoughts.

"Traveling tomorrow?  Are you getting anxious?  I'm kind of looking forward to it.  I've heard the night life around Chicago is a lot of fun" she said.

"Oh, uh, yeah, it's alright, I guess" I told her, only half paying attention.

"So what are some of your favorite places to visit?" she asked.

"I don't know, I really only visited the bars and clubs back when I was –" I stopped abruptly.

"When you were what?" she asked curiously, oblivious to the somberness of my features.

"Single...  Although, seems that may be the case again this time around, too" I said sadly.

"Oh no!  What happened with... what's her name?" the fakeness of her concern wasn't lost on me.

"It's a long story I don't really want to go into right now.  I have a lot of work I need to get done before I can leave" I said, changing the subject.

She nodded.  "Of course, sir.  I'll leave you to it" she said, and excused herself from my office.

I turned my chair around to face out the window, contemplating everything that had happened in the last three days.  It's only been three days!?  It feels like it's been so much longer since I've held her in my arms, tasted her kiss, laughed with her – laughed at all...  I decided that this must be what hell feels like.  I never realized it was possible to be so attached to a person that their absence felt like a hole in your life.  I mean, you hear about it in movies, and in songs, but to actually experience it firsthand was brutal.  I missed her.  I couldn't deny that I missed her.  But she's clearly already moved on...Does that mean it's time for me to do the same?

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Finn's POV

I walked onto the plane, put my carryon into the overhead bin, and sat down, gazing out the window.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Brooke asked cheerfully, sitting down beside me.

I looked over to her and I didn't know what to say, but then I sighed and it all just flowed out.  "...Basically I just really miss her.  I've never felt like this before" I whispered.

"So, why did you break up with her?" she asked, for once her concern seeming genuine.

I raked my fingers through my hair and sighed.  "Because, Brooke, she went out with another guy – for all I know she was cheating on me and was trying to cover it up, so I demanded she be out of my apartment by the time I got back from Chicago..." I whispered, turning my gaze back out the window.

"Finn," she said, touching her hand to my arm.

"Yeah?" I asked as I turned back to face her and I immediately felt her lips pressed up to mine.