Crossroads (A Naruto Fanfiction)

Dreamless Night

The red-haired woman, Uzumaki Kushina, arrived at our house just before the time hit eight o'clock. Dinner was already laid out on the dining table and she grew more hungry than she already seemed. "You even made ramen!" She exclaimed excitedly.

I and Itachi were sat on one side of the table while Kushina took the one across from me. Mother took the seat next to her as she said, "Ramen is the first thing I make when you're coming over."

Kushina chuckled as she looked at me and Itachi. "I still can't believe that you have two sons. Two datte'bane!" She emphasized.

"I'd be more disbelieved when you have your own children." Mother teased.

Kushina blushed almost as deep as her hair. "S-stop it! Who said I'd have kids?"

I'd have laughed if I hadn't been so out of it. Although my mind was aware of everything around me - reacting privately to words and people - I was detached from the outside. Mother put food on our plates and everyone around me talked as they started to eat. I could smell the food and my stomach churned in hunger, yet my body refused to answer my will to eat. I stayed still and just stared at the bowl of rice and side dishes that were all tempting. Mother was an amazing cook as always.

The table became quiet when they all realized I hadn't begun to eat yet. "Satsuki," Mother started. "Aren't you going to eat?"

Itachi put his chopsticks down and leaned back in his chair. My hands trembled unnoticeably.

Kushina chuckled, trying to bring some lightness back to the sudden tension permeating the air. "I think he wants to be hand-fed." She stood from her seat and went around the table to crouch down beside me. She picked up my chopsticks and pinched up a group of rice and brought it over to my mouth. My head remained still, but my eyes were now on the food she held up for me. "You need to eat to stay healthy, you can't refuse."

When she pressed the chopsticks to my lips, they parted instinctively. I could barely see my mother's eyes widen in surprise and regret. Maybe she thought that if she had pushed enough to feed me herself, then I wouldn't have gotten to the point where my ribs and spine were protruding. Where I wouldn't have needed weekly vitamin shots.

'Don't worry,' I wanted to say. 'It's not you who put me in this state.'

I wanted to ease up her worries by just being normal again. I could push myself mentally over and over but my body refused to act on them. It's as if I was on autopilot. As if my body would only work if it was the instinct that brought it to action.

Kushina continued to feed me throughout dinner, not bothering to eat herself, and no one stopped her. Itachi had gone back to finish his own food and my mother refused to look my way.

.

.

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Father came home past midnight. In their own home, my parents weren't the least cautious. They didn't bother to open doors soundlessly and spoke in low tones where I could hear the hums of their voices from my place in my and Itachi's room.

I couldn't make out their words, but I knew they were talking about me. When a pair of feet thudded quietly up the stairs towards my room, my eyes closed and I turned away from the doorway, my breath slow and even. Even if I tried to feign sleep, I was pretty sure my parents would be able to tell I was awake. Still, I tried for no particular reason at all.

The room's door opened slowly. The person walked into the room and I felt them stop just beside my bed. I thought it was Mother, as she would be the one to come in for any reason, but the hand that started to caress my hair was much too big and rough to be hers. "I heard about dinner," Father spoke softly and I knew he knew I was awake. He didn't say anything more for the next few minutes as he stayed combing his fingers through my hair.

I woke up the next morning to Itachi sitting at the foot of the bed, looking through a picture book with little words. He turned to me when he noticed me rousing and closed the book with a soft thump. "Breakfast is ready." He stated. I realized I must have overslept and it surprised me.

I never overslept. I barely even slept, which is why I was awake past midnight last night. Insomnia I guess, caused by dreams of my past life and this one. Things that would happen in the future haunting me as if I would be the cause of it.

Tonight, however, was a dreamless night.