Crossroads (A Naruto Fanfiction)

Big Brothers

I find it kind of funny how the kidnapping wasn't enough to make me realize what I already knew: that my life was fragile, even when I was - sort of - chosen to change the fate of the world. When Itachi confronted me about my English writing, I was more alarmed of him finding it than what really mattered: that I had to get a grip on myself. I was being careless, incessantly self-doubting, and locked myself in a dubious stasis of "what do I do now". It didn't just hit me out of nowhere. Being left alone with my own thoughts, I realized something needed to change, starting with myself.

So here I was, walking up to my mother as she wiped the table clean of our breakfast with a book in my hands. I clearly remember the time when Mother had inadvertently taught Itachi how to read when we were only two by placing her finger on the words as she read. I never paid attention to it like Itachi had, instead opting to stare at Mother to watch her lips move as her voice filled the room in a soothing melody, which may have been why I spoke so much before my memories came to haunt me. We were both smarter than the usual toddler, but Itachi was something else to learn how to read character from that alone. I'm not sure when he was officially tutored to actually become fluent in reading and writing, but I wasn't going to stay illiterate any longer.

Mothered eyed me and the book once I came close enough. There were no words exchanged between us, but the communication was clear enough in our body language. Mother crouched in front of me and grabbed the book from me softly and flipped through the pages. It was a dictionary. "Alright." Was her answer. She swiftly left what she was doing to guide me back to my bedroom and like that, the lessons began.

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Itachi was going to skip a grade and I wasn't too surprised. When he came home with a letter for our parents to sign, he seemed all too happy as he awaited permission from Father, who readily gave it on the spot. My frustration is damned against the authority of parental pride.

After a month, Mother and I were making headway with my impromptu tutoring session. In favor of my muteness, we established a learning routine to skirt around it. Mother would have me write letters and she would say their sounds after. To make sure I understood, she would say the sounds and had me point to the letter it was connected to. It was like a puzzle game.

I was surprised when Father came home together with Itachi. It wasn't often that he came home for dinner, and now with Itachi being too busy to be home for lunch, it was all the more meaningful when we did have family meals with all four of us together. What really had me questioning was when Father called the two of us to his study. It made me nervous. It was barely good news when Father had business with us. Me, more specifically. The only good moment I remembered was when Father offered to train me and that... Didn't go as well.

So I sat in front of Mother and Father with nerves twitching beside Itachi, who showed no signs of being curious about anything. Honestly, this boy.

I finally chanced a glance at my parents and... stared. I blinked twice at what I was seeing: Soft glances between husband and wife, small smiles tugged at the end of their lips, and they just seemed to glow in whatever they were feeling. Father turned to us and caught my eye and Itachi's. "We have good news," he started.

I turned to Mother when her hand moved to place her palm on her stomach, and I knew what this was about before she said it. "You're going to be big brothers."

I blinked twice again.

"That's..." Itachi said, almost breathless. When I turned to him his eyes were wide in genuine surprise. It was hard to get Itachi to openly show his reactions, and this deserved it. "That's..." He was as speechless as I was.

"We didn't plan on having another family member, but the change is welcomed by both your mother and I. I hope the two of you accept it as well," Mother stated.

"Of course," Itachi finally seemed to stabilize himself, but the smile wouldn't leave his face. "We'll do our best as elder brothers. Right, Satsuki?" He turned to me, and whatever he saw in my eyes made him frown.

I knew what he must see: Fear. I was afraid, I'll admit. What else would anyone expect knowing what I did? Sasuke was a centerpiece of this world, and no matter how hard I try to not see it as the show it once was, it didn't change the fact that Sasuke was someone this world had once revolved around significantly. That being in my mindscape, whatever it was, clearly implied that the events of what I knew were real. That they happened and now the world was back to the beginning, changes or no.

I was scared because Sasuke's existence meant everything was starting to begin and I had little time to be prepared to make sure he grew up well and safe when I was already struggling to cope with Itachi's fate. It made it so glaringly obvious to how much time I had wasted. I could have trained and grown like Itachi, but no, I was still stuck with my lack of physical strength. I still couldn't talk.

"What's wrong?" Mother asked as she moved forward and cupped my cheeks. I stared into her hesitant eyes and slowly shook my head. I leaned into her embrace and took a deep breath, taking in the familiar scent of home.

Stop, I tell myself. I already promised myself to end the self-doubt. I needed to move forward, and for better or worse, I'll do my best.