Crossroads (A Naruto Fanfiction)

Nothing Goes Smoothly

Kakashi eyed me with his chin rested on his fist as he sat cross-legged in front of me. "I know there's nothing you could do about it, but I need a way to communicate with you." He said and I looked at him in confusion. "A person's expression can only tell so much. I need an explanation as to why you keep coming out of meditation like someone slapped your head."

Its been a good few days since my training began, and just like Kakashi promised, we focused on meditation. I took to it like a fish to water and it was soon that I was able to reach into my chakra pool, but that was where the problem lied. The moment I attempted to pull my chakra to a certain point, I would lose my focus. My fingers twisted into the helm of my shorts as I found myself cornered. "Communicate," he said. I couldn't speak, I couldn't write, and there was no way I'd be able to draw out what I felt. Mother and I made smooth progress learning how to read (the most basics of children's books) and writing down the characters, but I was nowhere near good enough to communicate with just writing.

I startled when Kakashi suddenly patted my head. "Don't look so down. I wasn't complaining. I'm just unsure about continuing without fully understanding the situation you're in." The hand on my head moved down to poke my stomach. "You could touch the chakra pool, right?"

I nodded my head.

"And you snap out of meditation when you do?"

Again, I nodded.

"Alright then." He stood up and patted himself down to clear the dirt off his pants. "We'll end early today." He said before he disappeared. I just stared at the now empty space and turned my head to Itachi, who took up the role of observer rather quickly when he was present for my training sessions. Being the weekend, he had some time on his hand now and seemed to contemplate something as he caught my eye.

"When I first began to meditate to reach into my chakra pool, I was actually able to dive deeper into my state of mind." Itachi started. "Father told me I was in tune with my chakra more than most and so that's why it was easier for me to manipulate it so early in life." I knew from Itachi's smile that my eyes lighted up in curiosity.

Itachi moved to stand near me and I watched him perform hand seals with rapt attention. "Bunshin no jutsu!" He called out before a puff of smoke erupted beside him. When it cleared away, I couldn't help but gape back and forth between the two identical beings. I knew so much more was capable than a mere clone, but to see such things I have never seen before it captured your awe like magic. Itachi chuckled. "Like this, I can create a clone. Other's my age haven't developed their chakra enough to do so, but I started early due to my being "in tune"." He quickly dispelled the clone.

Didn't that mean...

I put a hand over my stomach and furrowed my brows. Was I really so disconnected from my chakra that it would so heavily reject me? But can chakra really reject the person, being a mere form of energy?

"I'm just hoping my own experience can give you something to work with," Itachi said.

I nodded my head in thanks.

.

.

.

I stared at the calendar with something akin to acceptance. Naruto would be born tomorrow. There was nothing I could do either way if something did happen, and it would only serve to put me down if I panicked like always. I had to get used to the unpredictability of this world compared to what I knew.

There was no avoiding October 10th, no avoiding Naruto's birth, and no avoiding the consequences of it. I just had to work with what is and what was. I did keep myself reminded that Rin was alive and Obito was saved. There was no broken Kakashi from what I knew and things were a hell of a lot better than from the story I once watched. Chances of the Kyuubi being unleashed were low.

My head paused for just a second and my eyes widened. "Kyuubi. Chakra. Mere energy." Weren't the tailed beast creatures born from it? Living, sentient beings, of pure energy. That made no sense. A regular person's chakra was nothing like that of what the tailed beasts were.

My hands shook and I crouched down to hang my head between my knees as my mind overflowed with overwhelming theories. I really didn't see myself much better than anyone else, but I knew at the very least that I wasn't normal. I wasn't a regular person with my memories and... That being within me.

"I am you... I am also something else."

I closed my eyes tightly at the sheer stress of my own thoughts. "Satsuki?" I heard Mother call me, but I couldn't find myself to respond. I felt her crouched beside my balled up form as she rubbed my back. Without any inclination, she gently picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. A sense of deja vu hit me from the times she would carry my listless form from the back patio to my room. I held mother tightly even as she set me down onto my bed. I wasn't going to let her leave this time.

She kissed the top of my head. "Sasuke won't wake up for a while so I have time to cuddle." She said, and I couldn't ask for anything more.