Moriartys Girl - A Sherlock Story

25 - Like I Matter To You

I stood in front of Roland, knife still in hand, and stared down as his head hung limp. Jim stood behind me and stroked my shoulders, kissing my neck. "It is amazing what you can do" he whispered in my ear. I looked down my body to see stray blood over my clothes and all over my hands; it wasn't mine at all. "Now remember, if anyone else talks to Sherlock-" he moved round in front of me and lifted my head up to meet his eyes

"So this was a warning?" I didn't blink, finally understanding why we did this, as we stared each other down. He did it to scare me.

"You are a fast learner" James leaned in and kissed my lips gently, "Don't talk to him, unless I say." He walked out the room, leaving the door open for me to follow.

"You say that as if I had a choice!" I shouted after him, slamming the door behind me. I got to the bottom of the stairs as James reached the middle of the staircase, "He ambushed me in the changing rooms, after Kev had swept the place and he was stood by the doors. So if Kev had done his job properly it would have been avoided!"

He turned to look at me, "You could've shot him"

"What? Shoot Sherlock Holmes in a woman's changing room? Yeah that would have been unnoticed" I retorted, "And not to the plan"

James slowly walked down the stairs and stopped a couple away from me, "He needs to die and you will do it."

I walked passed him and up the stairs, entering my bedroom and then my en-suite bathroom to clean up. I stripped off and entered the shower, cleaning all traces of blood off me. The water turned red under my feet; I looked down and noticed a pair of shoes next to me. Following up the fully clothed legs and body to Jims face.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me sweetly before leaning his forehead on mine. The shower water slightly fell on his head, moving his hair a little so it stuck to my face.

"I don't want to kill him" I whispered as the hot water ran down my back.

"But you have to. He won't expect it."

It had been a week since the torture and killing of Roland Green. There had been others since, by my hands and by others, and all in Jims room. Today was different, today I was sat in a cafe just off campus waiting for Jordan to leave class. After three hours Jordan finally came out and I ran over, looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching or following me. I had managed to get out without Jim noticing and I just hoped no one else followed me.

"Jordan!" I shouted as he put one foot on the bus. He turned and frowned at me as he took his foot off and stood up straight, "Fancy a coffee?" I asked an arm's length away

"Why?" His voice was cold; he really didn't want to talk to me.

"Like we use to." The bus went without him and we were alone, "please."

He walked with me to the cafe and we sat at a corner table with our coffees, sitting in silence as we drank.

"What did you want?" Jordan finally said

"I'm sorry I had to do it" I didn't look up to him, just in to my coffee

"You killed my dad" he whispered, making sure no one else heard

"And he killed mine."

"So that makes it OK? My mum is in bits. She blames herself for not telling him to leave that world"

"It's not completely her fault -"

"What!" he jumped up and grabbed his bag, people started to look over, "It's not her fault at all. It's your fault! You did it!"

"He knew the life, so does she,"

"So do you" Jordan threw his bag over his shoulder

I took a deep breath before answering, "I didn't want to argue. I just wanted to say sorry."

"Not good enough" he said before walking away towards the door. He stopped a couple steps ahead and turned back to me, "you know I liked you right?" I frowned as he continued on his journey out the door.

I grabbed my bag and walked out a few minutes later, making sure Jordan was gone before I exited and found a cab to take me back to Jim's place.

I walked in to the grand hall and Jim was waiting for me in the middle of the room, dark blue suit and black tie, arms folded. I closed the door and waited for him to say something. He just stared me down with his dark eyes, filled with anger. "You went out without telling me."

"Sometimes I need my own space"

"I need to know so I can keep you safe"

"I'm fine." Jim walked over to me, "I don't know what you're so worried about."

"People have seen us together. They'll take you to get to me"

"Like I matter to you" I whispered as I walked away and up the stairs.

"Is it so wrong if you did!?" he shouted up after me, but I ignored him. He was always trying to get in my head, this time was no different. He was just using my emotions against me. Yes I was a killer, but I still had feelings; feelings for him. I'd never deny them. Thankfully, we never had a chance to talk about them, and I didn't feel like talking about them now either.