Nothing Left To Say (Percico)

#14. If You Love Me

Please don't murder me. 0.0
(It's 3:20am, btw, so you're welcome for the update. Shmeh. Lol.)

Chapter #14 : If You Love Me

~This is gospel for the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies
From pieces of broken memories
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet
If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
This is gospel for the vagabonds,
Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect impostors
Don't try to sleep through the end of the world
And bury me alive
'Cause I won't give up without a fight
If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart~

PERCY POV

I still can't believe Nico di Angelo gave me a chance to get close to him. I actually feel happy. Maybe even relieved. I asked him if I could be invited to his cabin again, and he suggested I come at midnight (why so late, I don't know, but I didn't feel like questioning him) and I am honestly excited. Even though he might not be at all comfortable with me yet, especially after the little outbursts he has every once in a while, I can't wait to hang out with him and show him that I could be a great friend for him. He's not alone and he needs to know that, so, why not show him by giving him the most fun night of his life? I've got soda, two bags of ruffles, an assortment of different genres of movies (I don't know what he likes yet, but hopefully that'll change), some blankets and pyjamas, some games and sweets, and... Maybe a surprise. Or two.

Wow, sounds like a lot, huh? But it's not! I mean, anyone would do that for a friend, right? It's no big deal, I just want him to be happy. That's all I've wanted for almost a month now.

Something is bothering me, though... It's those little outbursts Nico has. Every time I get a bit too close to him, ask him a touchy question, or say something that might have offended him in a way that I don't understand, he'd freak out. I'd pat him on the back, he'd flinch and step away, mumbling something in Italian under his breath. It hurts me sometimes that he doesn't even let me touch him in a gentle, friendly and reassuring way, but I guess he just needs time. But then there are his panic moments that literally scare the living crap out of me. I'd ask him about Aphrodite's island very casual-like and subtly, but then the blood would drain from his face and his eyes would darken and widen, then he'd glare at me and growl out to stop asking him about it.

It actually scared me when he'd yell at me. When I'd put my arm around him and he'd scoot away from me or even move all the way on the other side of the cabin. Or when I'd ask what he though Annabeth had meant long ago, Nico would send me a death glare (pun intended), scream that he doesn't know and that I should leave him alone and that I should 'Stop asking me that, Jackson! I know as much as you do, so can't you just forget about it?!', and he would sprint back into his cabin and not come out till the next day. I'd be left by myself the rest of the day until I found him the next, then the whole cycle would repeat itself.

At the moment, we already moved out of Camp Half-Blood, the summer camp, to Camp Jupiter, the winter settle-in. I always found this place kind of homey, aside from all of the colosseums and battle grounds and fighting arenas, but when you actually get the time to walk around town... It's beautiful. It's my dream to settle down in this town one day, away from the monsters and gods and titans and demons. Away from being a demigod. It'd be nice to just settle down with that special someone, get a job, have a few kids, spend some time with my family and friends, and maybe just be as normal as I can be. One day. One day for sure.