Nothing Left To Say (Percico)

#5. Lost And Insecure

Thanks for the reads and votes!!! Loving it <3 I hope you enjoy this chapter after the awful cliffhanger I made you endure... Yeah, sorry 'bout that... Actually, no I'm not- HA! LOVE YOU, TOO! *MUAH!*

Dedication to @Victoria_Hiddleston!!! Sorry it's late, love!

I hope you like the song lyrics at the beginning of each chapter fitting to Percico <3 Cause I've got a playlist for them bigger than Gaia's Giant Army!!!

*trumpet sounds for the win*

Chapter #5: Lost And Insecure

NICO POV

~Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
But in the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing him
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, and who I wanna be
No way to know
How long he will be next to me
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all I want
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait
To find me, to find me?~

Worthless.

Hated.

Unneeded.

Alone.

Different.

Foolish.

Faraway.

Dark.

Unloved.

Lost...

I am lost, aren't I? All this time, I have been lost... That is to say the least. I've been wandering alone for so long, I've forgotten or somehow blocked out the pain that is forever within. It's always there. Right where my heart should be. That heavy feeling, like lead, that weighs me down is the loneliness I feel when I am lost. Or that lost sensation I have whenever I feel alone. I am alone. I'm left on my own to lose myself somewhere in this world, or even another. The pain is the only company I have. It never leaves me alone. It tugs on me until I force myself to go numb. And then I keep moving on.

I can't forget all the things I've witnessed in life and death and in between. No matter how horrifying... It'll always stay in my head, imprinted in my memories, forcing me to carry it on my shoulders. The things I've done haunt my mind sometimes, too. And my thoughts? My feelings? They. Never. Leave.

I might as well push myself away from people if everyone I ever get close to just... Ends up dying. I can't take it anymore. I don't know what would happen to me if I ever got close to someone again and they would die on me. It can't happen again. It won't. So I don't get close to anyone. I push myself away from people whenever they try to approach me. So, everyone wonders why I'm so faraway? Why I'm so distant? Why I'm alone? Because I can't get close to anyone... I can't trust anyone, I can't confide in anyone, I can't open up to anyone, and I most definitely cannot love anyone.

Ouch... Love.

Why does that hurt? Why can I feel something begin to pound in the side of my head that isn't my thoughts or the demons' torturing? My chest... Ugh, it burns. It feels empty and heavy. Am I even breathing? I don't think I am... Am-am I dead? Oh my gods... I'm dead, aren't I? Then why isn't my soul being sucked away into the Underworld? Why aren't I floating in the fields of Asphodel? Am I not even wanted in the Underworld, my own father's realm? Wow... I can't believe I'm dead. I died much differently than I had thought. I would have liked it to be a little more heroic than being beaten to death, but y'know... Can't ask for much in a world like this.