Behind the eyes of a lunatic (undergoing editing)

40- Behind the eyes of a lunatic

Hearing Tate’s voice from downstairs, i rushed to the door and was about to unlock it before Kourtney swiped the knife across my wrist. Letting go a scream, i grabbed hold of my wrist and backed away from the door and staring back angrily at her.

"Uh Uh honey" Looking down at my wrist, i bit down on my lip as I saw the blood starting to trickle down my arm. 

"How many times do I have to tell you!? I can’t admit what I did if I don’t know what i did in the fucking first place!" Grabbing bunched of her hair, she screamed in frustration and inched even closer to me with the knife pointed in my face.

"Carmela!" Tate croaked from the other side of the door. Seconds after, he had kicked in the door, and was standing in-between a worried looking Jared and Jensen.

Suddenly being grabbed by my top, Kourtney held the blade of her knife to my throat as Tate took a cautious step forward. Looking at him with tears glassed over my eyes, I blinked them away to somewhat calm him down.

"Kourtney, put down the knife" Tate said calmly, his tone was soft and gentle but his face the complete opposite. His hands were scrunched up by his sides, and his lips were in a straight line, as was his body. 

"Not until she apologizes for killing them!" She cried inching the knife closer to my neck. Trying not to breathe too fast, i shifted my eyes towards a terrible looking Megan.

"Who did she kill?" Jared spoke what was all on our minds.

Pulling me backwards, she pushed me down on the chair and let go of a bitter laugh. 

"Tell them about your dad" She said loudly while looking towards the camera perched on the desk. Shaking my head, i winced as she pressed the blade harder against my neck.

" He used to hit me, he went to jail, he died. Theres nothing to tell" I shouted back at her. Feeling everyones eyes on me, the tears started to stream down my face as i thought more about him.

"I loved him" She muttured from behind me. Furrowing my eyebrows, my mouth slightly parted as i went over her words. 

"Y-you loved my father?" Trying to stand back up, she yanked me back down to chair.

"You wouldn’t understand" She seethed. Looking at the ground, my eyebrows were still knitted together as i tried to think deeper into this situation.

"Make me understand" I whispered almost to myself.

Hearing her thoughts spin around in her head, she finally sighed with a small laugh settled in her voice.

"We loved each other, this wasn’t some petty romance; it was love. I was carrying his child you stupid little girl, he loved me and his baby and we were going to run away together, okay?! And then you sent him to jail...you sent him to jail and he didn’t want to speak to me because of you!" Yanking off my wig, she pulled me up by my hair and walked me over to a speechless looking Tate.

"You love him dont you, DONT YOU!" Shaking my head, I mouthed ' i love you so much' to Tate, making him shut his eyes with a painful look on his face.

"More than anything, I love him so much, and I’m sorry please don’t do this" I cried frantically.

"Why didn’t you just go to see your dad like he asked, why were you being so selfish! He killed himself because of you, he left me because of you" Pulling me by my hair again, Tate took another step forward to try to get to me, but stopped as she once again put the knife to my throat.

"So I was upset, so I slept with someone, big whoop. But then you had to go and post pictures of me all over school! My parents found one and then figured out I was pregnant; they made me get rid of the only shred of your dad I had left. You took everything from me, you ruined me." She sobbed.

Crying along with her, i couldn’t control my sobs as I went over her words in my head. To her, I had killed not 1, but 2 things she dearly loved in her life. Sobbing 'sorry', she screamed and was slowly sliding the knife across my neck before Tate scream caught her attention.

With tears in his eyes, he ran his hands through his hair and tried to relax his face. Grabbing hold of my hand, she wrapped it around the knife and held it back to my throat.

"Think about it, the pain you feel now? Carmela will never feel that if she's dead, what satisfaction will you get, what justice will you get? You're not hurting someone who she loves, are you? You're just hurting her.." Tate tried to reason, taking small steps towards us with every word that escaped his mouth.

"What satisfaction will I get?! Seeing her lifeless body on the floor along with my life, that’s the satisfaction I’ll get Tate." Glancing back at my wrist, i sobbed even more as I saw the blood surrounding it. Tate followed my gaze, and i heard the small whimper that escaped his mouth as he looked back into my teary eyes.

"I thought you were playing this smart Kourtney, I don’t see how letting Carmela die like this is smart. If you were smart, you'd get out of here now before the police come. Because i was meant to be back to see someone 30 minutes ago, and I guarantee you they've called the police" Lowering her knife, with her hand still wrapped around mine, my sobs started to calm down.

"you wont be hurting Carmela in the way you want, just...just give me the knife" I could feel her tears splash on my shoulder as she inched the knife closer to Tate, making a small smile rise to my lips.

"That wouldn’t hurt you...but this will" She whispered into my ear.

And things just seemed to slow down and go silent in my mind. I mean, I could hear the screams of people downstairs. The shouts of Jared and Jensen, as they rushed towards us. I could even hear the deafening cries of Francesca downstairs. But in my mind everything had went silent.

It's weird how things just slow down like that, you don’t know how that happens...but it does.

As she guided  my hand, the knife had plunged into Tate’s stomach, i couldn’t make a sound. Not a scream, not a cry...not a weep.

Falling to the ground with him, i ignored my surrounding and scanned his calm face. Raising his hand to my cheek, i shook my head in disbelief. Starting to pinch my arm, i was sure i was going to wake up and I’d be lying in his arms. Or we had just fallen asleep at the picnic he made today, or...or anything...anything.

"No no no, you can’t do this to me Tate. I promised I wouldn’t leave you, now you have to do the same" Cupping the sides of his face, the sides of his mouth turned up as he blinked away the small tears in the corner of his eyes.

"The first time you ever spoke to me, I thought you were some crazy weird girl who didn’t know when to shut up...." Feeling the tears stream down my face, i bit down on my lip so I wouldn’t wail like a baby.

"I was right...but I couldn’t love you more because of it” He laughed. Coughing, I creased my forehead and looked behind me to see flashing lights from out of my window, and Jared tying Kourtney to the chair.

Smiling, I heard people clambering out of the ambulance.

"Look Tate, they're here to-" Looking back down at him, i stopped speaking and let go a blood curdling scream. Shaking him by his shoulders, i cried even heavier once he didn’t reply to me. Kissing him on his lips, i whispered 'wake up' before being pulled off of him by Jared.

Seeing them take him away, the police had grabbed a happy looking Kourtney and was pulling her out of the house.

Running after her, I got held back by Phoenix and Jensen while I tried my best to get loose.

"You fucking bitch!" I cried so she could hear.

"Behind the eyes of a Lunatic honey, Behind the eyes of a lunatic" She laughed while being shoved into the police car.

No..just Behind the eyes of Kourtney Summers.

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A/N:

BUT I WAS GETTING SO TEARY WHILST WRITING THIS, LIKE I CANT DEAL WITH THESE FEELS :')