Behind the eyes of a lunatic (undergoing editing)

25- Gone

A/N:

This one was meant to be posted before spy tech, sorrryyyy

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I dont understand how only one person could turn your life upside down in a matter of a month or so.

Your friends.. Your pride... your , dare I say, love?

Just gone.

After the whole changing room situation, I tried multiple times to try to talk to Charlie and Francesca.

Charlie's face basically said it all. She looked devastated everytime I caught her glances.

The constant jokes guys keps cracking were beyond childish, some didn't even make sense. Yet were somehow ever so hilarious to sheep in our classes.

When I tried to pull Francesca to the side for a talk, she would have punched me if I didn't move back in time.

She told me how I was nothing to her, or her family. I was merely an interesting play thing for a while.

I didn't bother getting upset, or cry. I had gone through the pity stage, and the ice cream and candy stage, and was now on the 'Fuck you, you and you' stage.

But it still hadnt stopped me from trying to convince them or even count the weeks.

Mr or Mrs Life Wrecker had still been sending me subliminal messages. A post  or 10 on facebook.

Even if I reported them, they would just seem to pop back up the next day.

But what could I do eh? Sulk around for the whole 4 weeks they hadn't muttered a word to me?

You kinda have?

Okay, let me rephrase that..

Was I supposed to sit around and cry about how my life was basically now a pile of horse shit?

You kinda ha-

Okay! I get it!

Putting down my phone, I chewed on my lip while looking at my covered up window.

What if he was sitting on the ledge of his window like he usually did? I just needed to kiss him already. I needed him to hold onto my like he was never going to let go. I just needed some sort of comfort.

If I was going to do this, I needed to do something that would grab his attention, make him actually speak to me.

Jumping up, I pulled over my grey hoodie and quickly ran into Pheonix's empty room.

Diving through his draws, I grimaced at the disgusting things I had came across ( you don't want to know)

"Bingo" I laughed.

Pulling out the rolled up substance, I grabbed his tacky lighter and headed back to my room.

Stopping by the mirror, I ruffled my hair and added some chapstick to my lips.

My pajama shorts were hidden by the oversized hoodie, leaving my legs on full show.

My plan was to try to beat him at his own game.

Pulling up my blind, I smirked to myself as I saw him sitting on the ledge as I assumed, with a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other.

His thumb was hovering over it before he gentle tapped his phone to his forehead.

Gliding my window up, I acted as I hadn't even seen him and dangled my legs towards the ground.

Leaning backwards, I hesitated before lighting the substance and putting it to my lips.

Inhaling the fumes, I had to control the outbust of coughs I knew were trying to fight their way out.

I could feel his eyes taking me in, examining me.

"What the fuck are you doing" His voice coming out more gentle than I had expected.

Taking in another drag, I looked up towards the sky trying to hide my smile.

"Kitten.." My heart rate began to quicken as the way to familiar nickname escaped from his lips.

"You don't smoke." He bluntly stated.

Flicking his ashes down towards the ground, I looked as they fell and crashed upon the grass.

"I woke up and thought, 'hey, why not, I mean it's not like I could tarnish my reputation anymore" Tapping my foot against the window, I looked from the corner of my eye to see that he wasnt even paying me any attention.

He looked more interested in his wristbands than he did me.

This was pointless, I was trying to force something that wasn't even there anymore.

Standing up, I chucked the substance to the ground and sighed.

"Where you going?" The sound of sorrow laced his words, but his expression still cold.

"Why do you care?" Jumping back inside, I bolted back my window and slumped back on my bed.

I was officially done with life.

As my eyes wandered the room, they stopped on my rucksack. Furrowing my eyebrows, I crawled off of my bed and down on to the floor.

Crawling over to my rucksack, I pulled it into my lap and pulled off a small black dot looking thing.

Looking closer at it, my breath hitched in my throat as I noticed just what it was.

"A bug..?"