Revealed

50. Sharon Pierce

Mom is really killing me here. She's literally overworking me. Everyday, all I get are headaches.

"Sharon! Why can't you do anything right?! All I asked was that you buy me some cigarettes! You're absolutely useless!", she yells. She stands up from the couch and dusts off the food particles from her sweatpants with her hands. I notice the imprint she left in the couch from being in it for so long. Then, she angrily stomps her feet in my direction until she's standing dominantly over me.

"I held you in my stomach for eight whole months." Her hands somehow move to her waist and her sentences are stretched. She spits as she talks. "YOUR BIRTH COST ME MY WHOLE LIFE." She scowls at me now. "I never even wanted you. Your father forced me to have you." My mood becomes even more down than I previously was. "If you're not going to comply with my biddings, then leave. And don't come back."

I take a step away from her as she places one hand on her head as if she's in pain. She moans and slowly moves back to the couch where she slumps onto it.

I would have reacted, but she's drunk and only rambling. I know she wouldn't know how to do anything without me, and she knows it too. That's why I don't leave. But deep down inside, I know she meant what she said, even a little bit.

A few years ago, it would have made me hate myself more and more. But now, it just makes me feel more sorry for my mom.

"It's not easy, you know? Money is everywhere. But not in my wallet." She cries and her body stretches completely across the chair leaving no space for anyone else to join. Her leg hangs from the ledge and she uses one hand to scratch her hair.

I roll my eyes and take a breath. So bipolar. But what can I do? Within the next minute, she's snoring loudly and her body flinches. Shaking my head in disappointment, I grab my car keys and walk towards the door.

I make sure to lock it behind me. The sun is hiding behind the clouds. It's me. I'm the Sun. The Sun hiding behind my reality, future, and freedom in general. My emotions are faded. I hate to admit it, but my mother ruined my life. She stole my childhood from me.

At 6 years old, all my classmates got parties and presents for their birthdays. I got strep throat and lost my voice. My mom didn't even take me to get medicine, Candice did. At 12 years old, all my friends got touch screen phones. I got a cleaning set. And I had to teach myself to use it. At 17, my peers were all getting their junior operating licenses. I got a job at a fast-food restaurant on minimum wage.

Life has always been hard for me. I had to pay my own College tuition. It took me a couple years and some money my dad left me in his will. With the money I was able to save, I was only able to complete 3 years of college. I'm currently saving for my last year. At the rate I'm going, I probably won't be able to go. And it kills me that my mom doesn't care.

Starting the car, I back out of the driveway. The road is quiet. It's times like these when I drive back to the place where I lost her and just sit at the steps in remembrance.

The place has been long closed down. All that's left is the imprint of the sign which spelled out the restaurant's name. Cobwebs fill the walls and dust is piled up on every step. The windows are foggy, and anyone can tell the building has been empty and unkept for a while. The wind blows a strand of my hair away from my face. My skirt lifts itself up. I find my imitating the famous pose of Marilyn Monroe.
I'm just so lost. So very lost. I can feel my eyes tearing up. People say that we suffer so that we can grow up and be successful, or maybe it was just my dad, but I've already grown up and life just seems to be getting harder and crappier. It keeps rolling Boulders on my path.

I cup my face in my hands and cry out loud. Right now I just need everything out.