alllll the fics

Meow

Description: (Based on a prompt sent in to phanfic) Phil draws on cat whiskers the night before his wedding, and then can’t get them off.

Warnings: Some cursing, but nothing else.

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“Dan?”

There were about a thousand quick knocks on the door. “Dan, seriously, I need to talk to you.”

“You can’t.” Dan frowned and looked at himself in the mirror, rearranging his hair and his tie. Phil started knocking rapidly again. Dan sighed and turned. “Okay, what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as the door started to creak open. Phil leaned in sideways, only his eyes poking in through the crack. Dan smiled at him. “You know, it’s bad luck to see me in my dress before the ceremony.”

“Shut up,” Phil said, blinking just as quickly as he had been knocking. “I need your help.” Dan just kept standing still, arms crossed and a dumb smile plastered across his face. “I can’t help you if I can’t see you.” Phil rolled his eyes and stood up, stepping the rest of the way into the room. Dan’s goofy smile fell, and his breath caught in his throat. Phil looked gorgeous. His legs were… And his shoulders… His chest beneath the jacket… Dan’s mind failed to think of anything intelligent to describe any of it. Phil looked perfect, from his shiny black shoes to his face, which had-

Whiskers on it.

“Phil, what the actual fuck?” Dan burst out laughing, leaning down, hands on his knees. Phil turned pink. “Shut up, Dan, I.. I need your help with this.” Dan was still laughing, sinking to his knees at this point. “What, do you need a scratching post? A scratch behind the ear?” Phil crossed his arms and turned his head away. After a few more minutes of him laughing and teasing him with unfinished sentences, Dan stopped. He wiped joyful tears from the corner of his eyes and took long steps toward his still blushing boyfriend (husband- that would take some getting used to). “Honestly, Phil, what’d you do?” Phil started blushing more.  “Okay, I was just.. I was making a video for-”

“Liar. You were just fucking around with the marker, weren’t you?” Phil blushed more, if that were possible. “I was.. Yeah.” His shoulders slumped a little and he pouted at the floor for a minute. Then he looked back up and touched his own face. “Okay, but what do we do now?” Dan crossed his arms and examined him. “Well, I should go get my wallet. Pj made me a bet that you’d do something like this.” Phil smacked Dan’s arm. “You’re a complete ass. Now seriously, what do we do? We’ve got like 8 minutes, then we have to walk out there and get married.”

“Hmm.” Dan started pacing back and forth. “Have you tried washing it off?” Phil rolled his eyes. “Of course I have. Didn’t work.”

“Have you tried makeup?”

“..Yes. Sort of. I called Louise, but she wouldn’t give me any unless I’d explain, and how was  supposed to explain this?”

Dan stifled a laugh. “Okay. Um, have you tried sacrificing a small animal?” Phil turned around and frowned at him. “Dan, right now is not the time to make stupid jokes with me. We are getting married in a matter of minutes and I look like a cat.” Dan opened his mouth to say something, but stopped before he said a word. He closed his mouth and looked to the floor, finger pressed to his lips. “I’ll be right back.” And he turned on his heels and walked out of the room. “Dan, wait you can’t, we’ve only got a few minutes!” But he was already gone. Phil put his hand to his forehead. “Dan, I will count to three and you’d better be back. One.. Two…”

“Three.”

Phil raised his head and turned to the door, where Dan was now standing. Every word he had died. Because there he was, standing tall in his suit, hair fixed perfectly. And across his face were whiskers.

“Dan, I-”

“Shut up. I think this means we owe Pj double.” Phil smiled, almost too wide for his face. “I love you, Dan Howell.” Dan smiled and walked to him, hugging him with one arm. “That’s Dan Howell-Lester, thank you.”

“Not quite yet, buddy.” Phil was still grinning. From outside the room, someone called for them. Dan returned Phil’s smile and grabbed his hand. Phil looked him up and down. “You ready?” he asked, his heart jumping to his throat. Dan smiled and squeezed his hand.

“Meow.”

“Fuck you, Dan.” With that, Phil leaned forward and pulled the door open, dragging Dan out and into the hallway. As they walked toward the room filled with people, Phil heard Dan mutter, “That comes later.”