alllll the fics

Fire

Description: Phil can feel himself falling for Dan again, but he can’t have him back, because it was him to initiate the break-up in the first place.

Warnings: Sadness of course, but no death this time. Yay.

I can’t let this happen to me again.

You know what it is.

It’s when every little touch stops feeling friendly and starts feeling like fire on my skin, it’s when every little glance feels like maybe it has the potential to be more than what it is, like we have the potential to be a lot more than this.

I did this. I caused all this two years ago. And it can’t happen again.

You said you wouldn’t leave me, and you never really did. That was my fault. I made you leave. And all this- it can’t happen again.

I can try to cover up your scent with the sweat of other people. I can burn our old pictures. I can delete all the secret videos you made for me and only me from my computer. But what good would it do? You sit in the next room, with someone else on your mind. We’re supposed to be best friends still, but it’s hard when all I want to do is kiss you and hold you and love you. All I want is for you to love me like you did once. But I brought this on myself. I thought I was over you, that’s why I did it. I broke your heart, and now I’ve broken my own. And this can’t happen again.

Don’t touch me.

Don’t get near me, Dan.

I can’t do it.

Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me-

It’s too late. Your hand runs lazily over my shoulder, and I can feel nothing in your touch. You did it as a reflex, even two years later you still forget that we’re nothing. You pull back as soon as you remember, and it burns all over. Because two years later, you still burn and heat up the world with your smile. My heart still races when I see you walk in the room. My mind still spins when you laugh and it rings through my ears. I still cry over what I’ve done, what I did to make you leave me. My heart still aches when I know you don’t care anymore, you don’t care that I’m burning like this. And I do it because even two years later, you’re still like fire.