Landing In London {Dreams & Bleachers Sequel}

Living Nightmare Part 2

Ryder's POV

I'm to the point I might lose my sanity, because I'm so worried about Nicky. He refuses to show me his arms, or any of his body, and I know why.

We finally made our move to Colorado. Instead of staying in the city, we're in this nice little secluded cabin right outside our hometown. It's a pretty romantic place, and I'm going to use that to my advantage.

It was about eleven at night, and we both had taken a lazy day. He came into the room, ready for bed, but I wasn't quiet tired. Wordlessly, I pressed him against the edge of the bed, softly kissing him. He didn't argue, and he let our kiss deepen as we both laid back on the bed.

I started to pull off his hoodie, and that's when he stopped me. Nicky pulled back from my lips, and starred at me. We both knew there were cuts on those arms.

"It's okay." I whispered. "You know I love you, and your scars."

He took a hard swallow, but said nothing. I slowly attempted to pull his hoodie down again, and he let me. My God, my Angel. He was covered in cuts, fresh, bloody, cuts. Nicky shut his eyes tightly, trying his best not to cry.

I softly kissed him, taking him by surprise. Then I pulled off his shirt, and kissed down his chest and arms, even his cuts. I pulled off my shirt, then I ran my hands up his chest and around his neck.

Our lips met as we laid together, side by side. I slowly began to undo the buckle of his jeans, and he returned the favor. When I pulled back, I saw more cuts along his hips and legs. Oh, Baby, why do you do this to yourself?

There was fear in his eyes, because he knew I was looking at those cuts, but I decided to advert my attention and his. I got both our pants off, and kissed him more as I stroked him. His hands went up in my hair as he moaned.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you what happened next. We ended up a sweaty mess, but we both were smiling as we laid there together. I turned off the light, and cuddled up to him, scars, cuts, and all.

NJ's POV

I can't believe I even let him do that. We had sex, and he saw all my cuts. He didn't care, he said he loved me. I believe him, I always did, but I don't know if he still cares, or he' making believe.

Like always, I didn't want to think about it, I just wanted to sleep. Depression does that to you, makes you sleepy. He had already fallen asleep next to me. I could tell, 'cause he's a bit of a snorer.

I'm not that way as much. Maybe when I'm sick, but otherwise, I've been told I'm a very quiet sleeper. I closed my eyes, quickly falling into the darkness.

I mean real darkness. I've gotten to a point, I know this is a nightmare, but I can't escape. My fear still eats me away, making me numb from the love.

Looking around, I saw a dark basement. It was dusty, cold, lifeless, and I was stuck in the only light in the whole room. My knees were up to my chest, and my back pressed against the corner of the room.

It was just so cold. I uttered a shiver as I saw my breath in front of me. There was a distinct sound of a pipe dripping, and I already knew what kind of dream this was; the drowning nightmare. These are the worst.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself, but it wasn't working. The floor began to fill with water. As it touched my skin, I shivered again, and a lot more violently because it was freezing! Even my own tears were cold. Maybe that's because I'm so cold on the inside.

The water kept rising, and there was nothing I could do about it. It was a few inches deep at this point, when I heard an evil laugh. I know that laugh, fuck, I know that laugh. The shadow danced along the wall, until I could see the light just barely grace his face.

My Love, standing there, and I was so scared of him. I haven't felt this fear in a long time. I'd even bargain to say, I haven't been this scared of him since he was on drugs.

He grabbed me by the front of my shirt, as I kept telling myself, it's just a dream, or a nightmare is more like it. It felt so real, being able to smell the whiskey on his breath.

Ryder threw me across the room, and even with the water, it still hurt to hit the ground. The water was still rising. I knew either it'll kill me, or he will.

The light shined across his jester smile as he came close to me again, getting on top of me. He pinned me down, so the majority of my face was submerged in the water, and his hands found their way around my neck.

Crying or fighting won't do me any good. I just had to sit there and take it, because I knew that if I died here, I could finally wake up to reality.

He said to me, "You're worthless. Worthless... Worthless."

Even if it isn't the real Ryder saying that, I know he thinks it, and he's right. I am worthless.

I gasped for air, but I wasn't getting any. Finally, I opened my eyes with a jolt. I couldn't breathe, and I was shaking something fierce. Looking next to me in bed, I saw Ryder was sound asleep.

My cries mean nothing to him anymore. It makes me wonder, does my love even mean something?