Landing In London {Dreams & Bleachers Sequel}

Living Nightmare Part 1

This chapter is short as fuck. I don't even know where I was going w/ this. Anyways, I started a new account, NonaHysteria. My band fan fics will go there :)

Ryder's POV

"Sorry?" I questioned as I stared in shock. "Sorry for what?"

His back hit the door, forcing it shut as he slid down to the floor. Tears filled his eyes, and I leaned down in front of him. He pulled his knees up and put his head down, covering his face with his hands.

"I don't deserve you, an-and I know it makes you upset when I hurt myself, I just can't help it." He sobbed.

"Baby, I only get upset because I hate to see you in pain. You're beautiful, and I do deserve you. I need you, Angel." I reassured as I put his hand in mine and gave it a tight squeeze.

Nicky cried more, then admitted the truth to me. "You don't hear me anymore at night."

"What?" I asked, a bit confused.

"I still have the nightmares, and you don't hear me. Maybe you do, and you just don't wake me."

I said nothing, fuck. He was right, I don't hear him. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I didn't know."

NJ's POV, Later

Ryder found me out... Fuck. He's going to hover now, and I don't want that. I just wanna be a miserable fuck all on my own without someone breathing down my neck.

He had fallen asleep watching TV, finally. I walked into the hotel bathroom, knowing he hadn't gotten my entire stash.

I found a blade, thank God. My mind was screaming at me for the release. There was so much pressure built up in my body, so much pain. I just needed to let it all out.

Making sure the door was locked, I sat down in the empty bathtub because I loved the coldness. It felt so good again my skin, and I liked how quiet it was.

Pulling down my sleeves, I saw all the open cuts. I'm a monster; a no good, worthless, self destructive monster. It's a wonder anyone would love me.

There were too many on my arm. I didn't have enough room, at least not bought to keep it straight. OCD is the least of my issues. I still had plenty of places on my body, like my hips. That's were I moved to, finally getting that painful relief.

The tears slipped out, but I didn't care. I could feel human again. There was a few cuts, and I promised myself I would only do one more. Soon one turned to ten, and I was full of blood.

I laid down in the empty tub, crying to myself. In the room under ours, I could hear a couple fighting. He hit her, that was obvious.

He did it again, and I had a flashback. As twisted as it may sound, I kind of miss when Ryder would hit me, because he was at least giving me attention. Now, he could care less.

We said those vows. He and I, we said I do, but that 'I Love You' seems so far away right now. I wake up in the middle of the night from horrendous nightmares, and he'll be sound asleep. Doesn't he care anymore?