Landing In London {Dreams & Bleachers Sequel}

It's Been a While Since I've Fucked Things Up

NJ's POV

Our Christmas tree is up, no thanks to Ryder. Eddie came over and did it for me, since Ryder seems to be working so much lately.

I figure, maybe he just needs a little more incentive to come home. The house is spotless, and the kids are with Jade and Harley. It is very hard on me, considering it's the first time I've been without them, but I know it's just growing pains.

Ryder walked in the door, throwing his keys on the counter. I ran up to him, giving him a nice long kiss.

"Well, hello." He grinned. "Where are the kids?"

"With Harley and Jade. I thought we could use a little us time." I teased as I walked my fingers up his chest.

"Alright, let me get some sweats on and we'll watch a movie." He replied, giving me a quick kiss and killing the moment.

That was just fabulous. What has gotten into him? He never turns down an opportunity to have sex! It just isn't him. The normal Ryder would throw me over the counter and fuck me to Tuesday and back.

We still went and cuddled up on the couch. About fifteen minutes into the movie I wordlessly started kissing his neck to try and get a rise out of him.

He moaned, but pushed me back. "Not right now, Hun."

"What's wrong? Are you feeling sick or something?" I sweetly asked.

"No, I'm just not in the mood." He said, to which I stared at him blankly.

"This isn't like you." I spoke as I sat back.

Ryder sighed, muting the TV. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this. There's a reason I can't have sex right now, Babe."

Oh no... He's going to say what I think he is, isn't he? That we didn't use enough protection or something, and he finally caught my HIV. I couldn't live with myself if that happened!

"I've been having some issues, and look, I'll just come right out and tell you. I got an STD... Gonorrhea." He admitted, making my jaw drop.

Tears started to well up in my eyes and I could barely look at him. "You cheated on me?!"

"Yes, but Baby please hear me out. It was a late night at work, and you had been so busy with the kids. I was so in need of a fix, I was going to go crazy if I didn't get it. So when he offered himself up I just couldn't resist. It was the worst mistake I've even made, I was just so greedy and I'm sorry, Angel. Please for give me." He begged.

"Who was it?" I asked, feeling one tear slip down my cheek.

"JC." He responded.

There was silence, for many reasons. I trusted JC, and they work together constantly. How many times have those late nights on the job been booty calls?

"Just get out." I muttered.

"What?" He gasped.

"You heard me, get out!" I sternly spoke. "If you want to go ride JC, obviously bare back, then be my guest, but don't think you can come home to my bed if you're going to do it."

"Baby, I promise I will never do it again. I don't know what made me do it in the first place." Ryder pleaded. "Just don't do this to me. I love you."

"Obviously not, because I wasn't enough for you." I snit. "Go get your things, and get out, Ryder."

He stared at me for a moment, then lowered his head and silently went upstairs. A few minutes later I heard him get on his bike and leave.

I walked upstairs, seeing our wedding picture hung on the wall. How could he do this to me? After all we've been through? I thought he loved me.

As the tears tempted my eyes, I sunk down onto one of the steps and just cried. That's all I could really do is just lean against the wall and cry.

Hope came down the steps, whining because she knew I was upset. I looked at that cute little face, and just cried some more remembering how Ryder got her for me as a Christmas present one bad year.

She climbed into my lap, licking my arm. That cute little tongue went right over my scars. There's another battle Ryder helped me fight. He and I have been through so much, and he's always been my rock. Why'd he hurt me? I just don't get it.

The last time he cheated on me was because he was doing heroine and wanted to keep people believing he was straight. Once he was out of rehab, he swore he'd never touch a needle again, but honestly I don't know what happened. He could have gone back. It does explain why's he's been acting so off, but he swore.

More so, he looked me in the eyes and promised. He also said he loved me but look where we are now. My phone rang, and my first instinct was it probably was Ryder, since he obviously wanted me to forgive him. But no, it was Harley.

"Hey." I answered, sniffling. "Is everything alright with the kids?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just had this weird feeling I needed to call you. Are you okay?" She asked.

"N-no, but it's nothing I can't handle on my own." I replied.

Harley sighed. "Is Ryder home?"

"No, he's kind of the problem."

"Please let me come over? Or Jade, or someone?" She pleaded. "I just don't want you alone."

"I'll be fine, Harley. Actually, the best thing you can do for me is bring the kids back. If they're around, I won't think about Ryder."

"Okay, I'll be there soon." She softly said, then told me goodbye.

Later

It was about eleven when Harley came knocking on the door. She had Sarah in her arms, asleep. I smiled, grabbing my baby girl as Harley gave me a sympathetic look, then went to get Savannah from the car.

Sarah snuggled into the crook of my neck as I took her to her bedroom. I tucked her into bed, kissing her forehead. "I love you, Honey."

"I love you, too." She muttered. "Where's daddy?"

I sighed, leaning down next to her bed. "He's not home right now. I promise he'll be back soon."

Yeah, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew I'd take him back. He just needs to spend some time away from home to know what he had.