Umaga na. Ayokong bumangon. Ayoko syang makita.
Nilingon ko ang orasan alas dyes na ng umaga. Ugh. Late ako nagising. But still ayoko pa ring bumangon. Makikita ko sya. Nandito sya. Kagabi.
I still cant stop thinking about last night. After he said those words that kept me restless for the rest of the night.
Ano bang ibig nyang sabihin?
Pagkatapos nyang sabihin yun ay mas lalo akong walang masabi. It was the same question I also want to ask him.
Bakit nga ba? Is it because of the past? It crosses and binds our path that keep us stumbling to each other everytime. Everywhere. I hate how we are connected. Past. We connect because of it. I really cant get away with it.
Hindi talaga ako titigilan. Kahit makalimutan ko man. Kahit sumaya man ako. Panandalian lang. Lagi.Someone just really would reminds me of everything I'm trying hard to get away.
Laging ganito. Babalik at babalik ako sa dati. Hindi ako makaalis.
Like last night. One question. That one question was all it took to brought everything back. Namutla ako pagkatapos nyang sabihin yun.
I'm everywhere.
Someone I used to know said those exact question to me 3 months ago.
Three months ago.
Akala ko anglayo ko na. Akala ko angtagal na. 3 months palang ang lumilipas hindi ko pa kaya. Masyado pa ring maaga. My eyes started to sting. Why do I always have to cry in front of him every damn time. Ganito na ba ako kahina?
And for the very first time I saw regret and pity in his eyes. We keep staring at each other waitong who backs down first.
I did.
I dont need pity. All i need is to get away with this. Again. kahit paulit ulit nalang ako. Basta makaalis lang. Kasi hindi pa talaga pwede. Hindi pa kaya ng dibdib ko na sabihin. Hindi pa kayang sagutin.
I never let my tears to fall. I keep it in. All in. And answered him the first logical answer that came to my mind.
"Sinusundan mo kasi ako."
I thank god I didnt stutter. Tama ng kahihiyan ang nangyayari sakin kapag kaharap sya.
His lips parted like he didnt expect my answer to be that literal. He looks like he wanted to say something but didnt know how. Well I'm glad that doesnt just apply to me.
Wala na ata syang sasabihin kaya umalis na ako at natulog sa napili kong kwarto. Sa katabi ng kwarto ko. I just feel like I'd be needing comfortable ambiance and bed. Nakatulog ako after 2hrs that's why I woke up this late.
I lazily get up glance around and sigh. Nakakatamad bumangon. Masakit ang ulo ko. Masakit na din tyan ko. Ugh now I need to get up. Dahan dahan akong naglakad at lumabas.
Nagulat ako ng makita ko si Irene sa labas ng pinto at kakatok.
Nagulat din sya ng makita ako at mas lalong nanlaki ang mata ng makita kung saan ako galing. Dali dali syang lumapit at kinurot ang bewang ko.
"Malandi ka! Sinong kalaguyo mo kagabi? Ha saan ka galing?"
"Anong kalaguyo pingsasabi mo? Dyan lang ako sa katabing kwarto natulog." Sabay turo ko sa pinanggalingang kwarto.
Nakasampu muna ata syang kakaOMG bago ako kinausap ulit papasok na ako ng kwarto kailangan ko na maligo gutom na ako.
"Bat ka dyan natulog? OMG kwarto yan ni OMG talaga. Hindi ko kinakaya mga eksena ngayong umaga."
Tinitignan ko sya kung may sasabihin pa sya na mukhang magdadrama muna kaya pumasok na ako sa kwarto. Naramdamn ko na sumunod pa rin sya. Lakas ng yabag e.
