Little Mix One Shots

It's Hard (Jesy)

Jesy let out a breath as she sat down in front of the camera, ready to record a message for the fans about how she was feeling. About how the last 3 weeks had been.

"I don't really know how to put this down or where to start or where it's going to go but I want to be honest with you and tell you about the last 3 weeks." She begins, her hands shaking off camera, as she tries to put together coherent sentences about how she's feeling.

"The last few weeks I've really, really been struggling with depression. It's been hard and my mind has been scattered, that's why I haven't been on social media or left the house really." She sighs, looking down, before continuing, "with this depression at times I've been eating loads and then other times nothing at all. I'm not eating anything healthy, I physically can't even imagine eating something healthy at the moment. The thought turns my stomach sick. All I want is junk food. But it's not like McDonalds or anything that can fill me up, it's crisps and dip and sweets and fizzy pop. And that's all I want to eat and if we don't have it in then I just won't eat." Jesy whispered, the tears beginning to fall.

"And I know it's not good for me, I know that, but I can't bring myself to eat it. Members of my family and friends tell me all the time 'well just make yourself eat' and 'you know it's good for you' but I just can't" Jesy shook her head, "I'm having a really hard time right now. Life has been weighing down on me. And I know everyone goes through phases like this, when life weighs down on you a little bit, and that's okay" she nods "it's okay to have life like this because I know my life will get better but at the moment it's so hard and I don't know how long it's going to take."

"There are days when I feel fine, or a new definition of fine and I can get out of bed and shower and watch the tv." Jesy carried on, wiping her tears away. "And there are days when lifting my head from the pillow is all I feel I can do. Days where breathing is laborious and leaving the house is in my distant memory. Those days are the hardest." She said, her voice cracking a little.

"I just wanna you guys know, I wanna level with you guys and let you know what's going on. We're very honest with you guys and if I didn't tell you what's happening it wouldn't feel right."

"I'm trying" she began, after a spell of silence, "I'm trying to get out of bed everyday and work towards leaving the house. Some days are tougher than others but I've got my family and friends to help me out. So yeah I'm trying to be there for my family and for you guys but it's hard sometimes." She finished, talking a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check.

"And it's really come from nowhere. I have nothing to be depressed about. I have the most amazing boyfriend, Harry who's been my rock. And fantastic friends. And 2 puppies. And an amazing lifestyle. And a beautiful house. But I'm still depressed. I'm still struggling. I can't make it go away and I can't stop it." She sighed, shaking her head.

"But I'm okay with life being like this. Because you can't have the sweet without the sour" she explained her voice cracking again a tear rolling down her cheek, "You've gotta have the bad with out the good, you know."

"So I'm asking for a little bit of support and patience, whilst I get the help I need, and overcome the things I must. I love you all and I'm so greatful  for you. Bye" Jesy waved, before shutting of the camera, the room filled with silence once more.

She knew, as she posted that video that she was going to do her absolute best to beat this once and for all. 

Hope you liked this one, I'm currently writing recent requests, so if you have requested something it is on its way xx