Falling for The Dolan Twins

gone with the wind💔.....

Closer to the end there  will be in bold print to play music now , don't play the music until you see play music now!!!
*previously*
By this time the world had become slow motion. Gray was pacing back and forth but all i seen was him walking very slow. I was dizzy and confused then I fell over. I closed my eyes not wanting to wake up ever again.
*present*
I was laying there with my eyes closed, crying. Screaming. I could barely hear Grayson in the background.
"Remi, please be ok, Remi are you there, can you hear me," I heard him faintly
I wanted to be alone but I needed someone to be there. I was fine in Grayson's arms, and then I had to ruin it. I ruin everything, I hate me. I started humming, the song I hate you I love you. Singing or humming or listening to music helps.
I didn't even care if Gray was listening, he must think I'm insane.
"Remi?" He said hearing me hum
"Yeah all alone I watch you watch her, she is the only thing you ever se how did you never notice you were slowly killing me, I hate you I love you," I sung quietly
I could feel him staring at me. He had no idea what I was doing. I opened my eyes and sat up. Everything was slowly returning to normal.
"Remi are you ok?" He asked
"Y-yes Gray,"
"Why were you singing,"
"It helps,"
"You were singing I hate you I love you, was that about Ethan?"
He figured it out faster than I did.
"Ya, when those kinda things happen I usually sing sad songs or simply hum the beat."
"Alright I got to take you home," he said
"What about your car?" I said as he picked me up
I curled into a ball as he picked me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I'll have Ethan come get it," he whispered Ethan's name so I wouldn't hear it but I did
GRAY POV
I was so confused, she was fine then she fell to the ground in an anxiety attack. Look what Ethan has done, he fucked up again. He seems to keep doing that. He's never going to be able to get Remi again, he has crushed her. She's so special like a drop of sun, and he just killed her light. He said he loved her but he has no idea what love is. You would rather die than hurt the person you love, he just loved the idea of her not rlly her. She's one of kind and Ethan just couldn't see that. She was a strong person yet fragile in moments. Idk how someone so perfect could be damaged so badly. Remi is different, she's got this strong will to keep going, and even though there are scars on her wrist she still tried to put a smile on everyone's face.
Remi thought I didn't know about the scars, but I did. I stood at her door that night listening to her cry on the floor. Ethan thought he saved her, but at that moment no one could. He stopped the knife but not the depression. I was in love with Remi, and I meant it when I said I loved her.
I love the way she laughs
I love the way she smiles
I love the way she cares for others
I love her hair and the way it flows in the wind
I love her compassion
I love her.
POV OVER
Gray sat me in the passenger seat of my Jeep, he drove back to my house. When I walked in the door all I could think about is the first night me and Ethan met. I remember falling on my ass in the floor as he opens the door. Or the way he slept beside me through the night. Or the way our first kiss went.
Memories would haunt me forever, it's crazy how attached you can be to someone after a few weeks.
I was just standing there in my door way thinking of all the memories we had together. I walked into my bedroom, I looked at the bathroom. The scene of Ethan and me sitting in the floor crying replayed in my head. I sat down on my bed and cried like any other teenager would. Grayson just laid there and cuddled me.
"Grayson?" I asked
"Yeah Remi,"
"Did you only sleep with me to distract me from Ethan so I wouldn't find out he was cheating?"
"Hell no, Remi I love you and I slept with you Bc I love you and Ethan can suck that chicks ass bc now your not with him, you are perfect the way you are and I would sleep with you a million times wether Ethan was cheating or not,"
"Thx Gray Ilyt,"
I turned over and kissed him, he broke the kiss.
"Remi are you using me to make E jealous?"
"Hell no, Gray ily and I have since day one it just took a while till I noticed, if I don't love you then I wouldn't have slept with you WHILE me and E were together,"
"Ilyt," he kissed me
One kiss turned into a make-out then a make-out turned into him taking our clothes off.
He unclipped my bra, and threw it across the room. I slid my hand into his underwear and pulled them off. He took my underwear off and went inside of me.
After it was all over, I sat there staring into his eyes.
"I love you so much Grayson Baily Dolan,"
"And I love you so much Remi Jordyn Smith,"

*Play music now*
I was so scared that this would end faster then the last time. When someone compliments me I don't take it I simply feel like I'm being lied too.
Ethan broke me, there will always be this empty part of me. He told me he would love me forever but he didn't mention forever had a expiration date. I planned out me and Ethan's wedding and what our babies would look like. Now I know that those were just dreams, some dreams are impossible. I knew Grayson loved me but how can I love someone? I cheated on Ethan when I said I loved him. I couldn't trust myself, could anyone?
Grayson had fallen asleep. I put on my clothes and got up. I went out to my car, I had to leave.
"Why the fuck am I even here, why am I trying to be the girl who I've always wanted to be? I want to be the girl in the movies, the girl who the boys love and she's perfect, always happy and skinny WHY CANT I JUST BE THAT GIRL!!!"I yelled
I just sat in my car beating my staring wheel. Yelling, screaming. I needed to leave Gray, I was going to mess something up in the long run. I had to make sure he wasn't hurt. I had to do what's best for Gray even if it breaks him and me. I needed to leave his life and never show up again. Block his # and Snapchat, Ethan's too. I had to leave with everything, quit my job and move away. Maybe back home. I was broken and I don't need to break anyone else. I will die alone, and I'm not ok with that but I can't bc ok with everything.
I called my mom. I explained I need to live at home again. I went inside and quietly got my stuff, I left the bed sheets that Gray was on. I got all my clothes, everything. I wrote Gray a note.
It said:
I have to leave it's best for you I tend to ruin everything. This is best I'm so sorry but I'm going home don't try to find me or get a hold of me you don't need me I hope you grow beautifully and become the most famous Youtubers ever and that you marry a beautiful woman and have little Grayson's running around, I love you and you always do what's best for the ppl you love and this is the best thing for you
I'm sorry Gray I love you
Goodbye Grayson and Ethan
-Remi

Sorry for the sad chapter I'm in a sad mood so yaaaaa

peace.